Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Day 2 - Dystonia and Grocery Shopping

Going grocery shopping - some love it, some loathe it and some are indifferent to it. I myself, never gave it much thought until dystonia settled in. The thing is, I'm not quite sure people understand what grocery shopping entails for me (or others with movement disorders). So this blog post is going to enlighten you on how I go grocery shopping. It's also what I did today so it's fresh on my brain :) I know, you're thinking, "great this should be LOADS of fun" (said in a sarcastic voice) - but I do intend to make it worth your read, or at least make it somewhat funny....we'll see how I do....

Before I go to the grocery store, I have to be out of everything and I do mean everything. It's go big or go home....I'm either going to buy the store out or not buy anything at all. I've only got so much energy, so I use it all in one fell swoop! On the way to the grocery store, I'm praying on repeat that there will be a handicap space open right in front of the doors (because there ARE spots that are farther away) and that there is a cart right by the parking space. And here's my confession: I love - absolutely LOVE when people don't return their grocery carts to the grocery cart receptacle. I'm not being sarcastic here! Since I use a walker, I can't walk to the grocery cart receptacle to get a grocery cart without having to use the walker. So if I do have to do that, I end up having to load the walker into the cart and then return it to my car and by this time, I've spent 10 minutes just in the parking lot getting ready to go into the store - so I love, love, love all you "slackers" out there who leave carts right by the parking spots!! Thank you, thank you :) IF, I don't see a handicap parking spot with a cart right next to it, I start looking for the nearest spot that does have a cart next to it. If I can't find one of those, I look for the nearest grocery cart receptacle and hope that there is a parking spot right next to it. If, I've worn out all those options, I've been known to circle the parking lot 4, 5, 6 times waiting (not so patiently, sometimes!) for someone to come out and vacate one of those "premium spots". I've also been known to completely skip the handicap parking spots (with no carts beside them) in lieu of a spot that does have a cart. There have been times, I've been so frustrated in not finding a spot, that I've left and gone home without going into the store at all. I say all of this not for pity in the least bit, just to let you know what goes on sometimes when I think a grocery trip will be about half an hour and it ends up being an hour and a half :) Sometimes, it's just getting in the door that trips me up (pun intended!).

Once inside the store, I'm pretty much OK. Although there have been times, when I can't seem to move at all and it's all I can do to get essential stuff and get out. The thing about walking with a grocery cart instead of a walker is that, people don't know there is anything wrong with you. That's both a good and bad thing! When I'm having a really bad day walking, you can tell even when I'm walking with a cart. So then people tend to just stare at me (even more then they would with a walker) and wonder why I'm being so slow. Which, they did today. My dystonia symptoms get worse under stress or really any highs or lows (so if I'm really excited about something they tend to be worse or if I'm really sad about something, they again tend to be worse). Today, I decided to run (haha, OK, bad use of words, but anyway....) to the store on my lunch hour. I only had a few things to pick up (which I'll admit is unusual for me!). But the "stress" of having a time limit, led to me having more pronounced dystonia symptoms. It wasn't that I was actually stressed, it was that my adrenaline kicked in and that led to more pronounced symptoms. There was a lady in the store today and I guessed her age to be around 80 and she was flying by me!! I actually had to smile because it struck me as funny. I do try and get everything that I need in the vicinity before moving on to another part of the store, because having to retrace my steps for something that I forgot can be torture sometimes. I've been known to just do without, instead of going back to get it.

Getting out of the store is another adventure! Most stores have a decline - if ever so slight - when you emerge from them heading to the parking lot. I never really noticed that myself before, but now, I notice it all the time. This is because going downhill is torturous for me. I feel like I'm losing all control and I just can't do downslopes (however slight they may be!) without great difficulty. So - getting out of a grocery store has me hanging on to the grocery cart for dear life! I'm praying that 1) The cart doesn't get away from me and 2) I don't get away from the cart. I've fallen before doing this and let me tell, it's highly embarrassing! Another "obstacle" I have to overcome is traffic. It's not usually a problem going into the store (because there is a slight incline and I have much more traction on those!) as I usually can stay with the pace of everyone else. But coming out of the store, is a different story altogether. I try to cross when there are no cars anywhere in sight, but obviously, that's not always possible. I feel SO bad for the people who wave to me from their cars to go ahead and go. I feel bad for them because I think to myself "they have no idea what they just signed themselves up for!" It takes me forever to cross the parking lot - especially with people watching me. I try to psych myself up and tell myself that I don't care what they must be thinking of me (for being so slow!). Most people who are waved across tend to hurry themselves up, so as not to keep the driver waiting too long. I happen to be just the opposite. And, not on purpose - I promise!! So, if I've done this to anyone reading this blog - I'm sorry, really, really sorry!!!

By the time I get to my car, I'm usually pretty exhausted. I load all my groceries in the car and leave the cart by the parking spot for someone else who needs it :)

When I get home, I will usually back my car into the garage, so that the trunk is closest to the door to the house. This way, I again have less of a ways to walk. Surprisingly enough, carrying groceries sometimes eases my symptoms. It's hard to explain, but I guess the weight of them pressed up against my legs eases the tension in my legs and makes we walk better. I'm not explaining this correctly, but what I thought was a "genius" find on my part is actually already known in the medical world. You see, I started realizing that if I were to touch my leg or foot when it was having a spasm, it would relax itself. It's a sensory trick. If you touch the affected part of your body it sometimes relieves the symptoms. Pretty cool :) Anyway, doing that with the groceries, helps me walk better, so I usually don't have any problems getting them into the house.

And there you have it: me grocery shopping with dystonia. So the next time you're at the grocery store, I give you permission to leave your cart by your parking spot and hurry up and not let anyone coming out of the store walk in front of you as you get to your parking spot. Grant it, you're not going to make the employees of the grocery store like you very much and you may make some people angry at you for not giving them the right of way, but then again, you may be helping someone you don't even know! :)

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