Tune-In-Tuesday: November 24, 2020

I'm finally posting a Tune-In-Tuesday blog post on a Tuesday - wonders never cease! I thought it was time for another update, especially since I changed the amount of electricity in my deep brain stimulation device. It's not that I've been falling all over the place (I haven't), but rather I'm not walking "correctly". I walk on the outside of my foot and my foot isn't laying flat on the floor - all signs I need to give myself more electricity. This is tricky though. Since I haven't been falling and I CAN make it from Point A to Point B (however slow or awkward it may look to others), do I really want to mess with the electricity? Especially since the holidays are coming up? Well, I guess my answer was (is) yes. On Saturday, (November 21) I upped the electricity from 3.60 volts on Frequency A to 3.70 volts on Frequency A. My left hand went a little nuts, but that was to be expected and it's calmed down a little since Saturday. So now, I wait.

I find it a little ironic. It takes about 2 weeks to see any real effects from going up or down on electricity. I really never thought twice about that, but then 2020 happened. COVID quarantine is 2 weeks. That got me thinking. Does it take 2 weeks for a lot of medical-related things to take place, to heal, to work, for medication to kick in....? Probably not. I'm just thinking out loud now. :) Like I said, it's just a little ironic to me.

I went to the dentist last week. They have been wanting to do a digital panoramic X-ray on me for  about four years now (I haven't had one since before my DBS surgery), but won't do it until I ask Dr. T. (my neurologist) if it's OK. Because of the battery for DBS and then of course the actual electricity, they want to be super diligent in making sure it's 100% OK to get it done. They've done other X-rays but not the panoramic. But, for four years, twice a year they have asked me this and for four years, I keep forgetting to ask my neurologist! That's super embarrassing to admit. The dentist has always been the one doctor, I don't actually mind going to. ;) So, finally TODAY was the day, I remembered to call and ask. That was partly due to the fact that I just had my dentist appointment and partly due to the fact that I got a letter in the mail from my neurologist letting me know the practice was moving to a new location - so I had the letter right on the table in front of me to remind me. (Side note: I'm SO THANKFUL that the letter was just to inform me of a new (but still local) location and not that my doctor was leaving the practice or moving out of town!) I called and left a message and Dr. T.'s nurse called me back within an hour and half. Dr. T said it's fine to have it done, just no MRI's. So I called my dentist and they were able to get me in today to do it! It did make me feel so much better to hear them say that this X-ray is only needed every 5 years (so they were being pro-active in asking me for 4 years if I could have it done - ha!), so I was well within that time period. I'm not sure why it took me four years to ask the neurologist, but now we know! I think it took me longer to get to the dentist and back home, then it did to take the actual X-ray, but it's done and I can mark another thing off of my "To-Do" list.

I've noticed that my left knee makes cracking noises when I extend it. It's been doing this for awhile, but just recently I've wondered if it has anything to do with DBS, electricity and/or how I walk. For whatever reason (it's literally just the way I instinctively walk when I'm having major issues), I don't bend my knee when I feel like I'm going to fall or when I get nervous walking. It's automatic. I don't have to think about it - my knee just won't bend. I guess it's a coping mechanism? My knee doesn't hurt when I hear it crack, but it definitely makes a horrible cracking noise. I hear it a lot while doing yoga or going up stairs. Just hearing it crack makes me wince. It's not painful, but that noise is horrible!! Weird, right?! I guess it could just be old age too! ;)

I'm definitely no medical professional, but in my head and in my heart, I want things to connect so badly. Like because of this, so and so happens and because of this, that's happening. I get SO frustrated when I can't logically connect things. And maybe this is why they call medicine "art" just as much as they call it "science". And maybe this is why I'm not a doctor (well, that and the fact that I'm horrible at math and science). I don't think I could handle on a daily basis why "A" and "B" don't automatically equal "C". I've always thought of myself more "artsy" than "analytical", however the older I get, the more I realize, I do like a lot of "analytical"! I like checking things off of lists. I like researching, but I like answers - clear, concise, black and white answers. I like when every piece of the puzzle fits together perfectly. And that's just not life - is it?! :) I like order, and stability and all things Type-A, but again, life isn't that! If you never fall, you're never going to experience the high of getting back up, dusting yourself off and overcoming. All this to say, I knew where I was electricity-wise, was not where I was supposed to be. I knew I needed more. So that's where I'm at. Hopefully, I can wait it out for the next two weeks (not jump the gun and either go higher or lower) and if I need more electricity after that, I'll adjust again. 

This whole experience/disease is an art form, whether I like it or not. Maybe I need more electricity at times. Maybe I need less electricity at other times. It's a dance, right? I've got to give in (not give up) and just let this "adventure" take me where it's going to take me. I think my resisting at times makes it worse. If I have a bad day/week/month, I have a bad day/week/month. That shouldn't define anything. It just is what it is. It'll make the good day/week/month that much sweeter! 

Some of you may know that Michael J. Fox is my favorite actor. I've loved him since his "Family Ties" days. One of my most favorite movies is "Doc Hollywood" (You thought I was going to say "Back to the Future", didn't you?!). He became even more of a favorite of mine after his Parkinson's diagnosis and after I read his book "Lucky Man". We have some things in common. We were both diagnosed (in my case - FINALLY) when we were 29 years old. We've both had deep brain stimulation surgery. We both take (some of) the same medication. We both have a neurological condition. Though, I do not have Parkinson's (praise Jesus!), I do relate to some of the things he's gone (going) through. It's refreshing to hear that others struggle. Is that mean of me to say? I mean, I KNOW others struggle, but to actually hear them talk about their struggles encourages me in ways you don't understand unless you experience them yourself. To hear that it's not "automatic" for him to walk or to get going - I understand that on a deep level. It also encourages me because it gently reminds me that I've got it made in comparison. Yes, I struggle every day, but nowhere near the struggle people with Parkinson's deal with. I see it with those in the waiting room of my neurologist. There are people struggling so much more than I am. It gives me new perspective. It makes me count my blessings even more.

We are only a couple of days away from Thanksgiving and 2020 has been a hard year on ALL of us. But God is good. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

And always remember...

God's Got This!

Tune-In-Tuesday (But on a Saturday): October 17, 2020

Again, it's been a hot minute since I updated this blog. A couple of my friends have asked when I'll start blogging again. (And, by a couple of friends, I do mean 2 people - ha!) :) I've given the same excuse to those who have asked and that's been: "I'm working from home now and for some reason I just don't want to stay on the computer any longer then I have to these days." Which is a lame excuse, I know, because when I was blogging weekly, I worked on a computer all day and then came home and jumped right back on the computer and blogged. So, all that to say, I'm back (for today)! Here's a little (or long - I don't know which one yet) update on what's been happening in my life since the last time I updated.

June 10 was my last update. Since then, I moved into a new decade of life. June 12 saw me turning 40. Yes, 40. If we're blessed enough, it happens to us all - we get old. I think I've felt like I was 40 since I was 25 (when all this dystonia and walking problems began), but now I'm officially 40. I'm not sure how that happened so quickly. My dad was 40 when we moved to Tennessee and now, now I'm 40. Sheesh. I love, love, love birthdays and my 40th was amazing (pandemic and all). My family made sure I was celebrated well. 

Since June 10, when I saw my neurologist, I've gone up and down in the amount of electricity I've "given" myself. (I never know how to really write or articulate that sentence. It almost sounds like I'm electricuting myself or something.) Here's a little timeline (thanks to me taking a picture every time I adjusted the electricity): 

June 10: Dr. T. raised the electricity to 3.30 volts on Frequency A. 

June 27: I rasied it to 3.40 volts continuing on Frequency A. 

And then, I waited. It wasn't that walking was necessarily great. It was more that I didn't want to mess with anything. A.K.A: Laziness on my part. It's not (as) fun anymore to play with the electricity, so I just let it be for awhile. 

August 11: I adjusted the levels again and went up to 3.50 volts on Frequency A. 

September 7: I raised it again to 3.60 volts on Frequency A. 

September 9: I decreased the electricity back down to 3.50 volts on Frequency A because I felt like I had too much electricity. 

September 15: I was still having major problems (I was consistently falling), so I took myself down to 3.40 volts on Frequency A. 

September 28: I decided to go full-throttle and raise the electricity to 3.70 volts on Frequency A. Instantly (and I do mean instantly!), my hand freaked out and curled under. That is a major sign that I went too high, too fast, so I adjusted the electricity and landed on 3.50 volts on Frequency A. 

October 9: I raised it 3.60 volts on Frequency A 

October 17 (today): I'm still holding steady (or maybe not-so-steady) at 3.60 volts of Frequency A 

What does it feel like to have too much or too little electricity? I'll try to explain! 

Too much electricity: My muscles tighten up, my leg gets really stiff, my hand curls under or spasms, I fall a lot. Fun fact: sometimes when I fall it actually "helps" my muscles loosen up. I don't think that's a scientific fact at all, so don't test it, but sometimes it does actually help me to fall. Another fun fact: my left arm and hand were effected by the deep brain stimulation. I actually lost all use of them for several weeks after the surgery. I could feel them, I just couldn't move them. I eventually got all movement back in them once the swelling from the surgery went away. But, they have now become my meter on how to tell if I have too much or too little electricity. 

Too little electricity: My muscles are too loose (floppy? I don't know how to accurately describe this - they feel like jello). My leg spasms. My muscles twitch. I feel like I don't have any control over my leg and foot. I fall a lot. My hand and arm are normal. ;) 

 A friend told me on Wednesday night that he thought I was walking better. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Some days are definitely better then others. Shoes also effect the way I walk. The more supportive - the better I walk. Surfaces effect the way I walk. I walk almost perfectly on sand. Thick carpet, thick grass - excellent places for me to walk. Hard surfaces, concrete, hardwood - not so great for me to walk on. 

Anyway, since I've written a book here, but simultaneously caught us all up on my ups and downs with electricity in my brain, I'll close for now. I will update more frequently, I promise. It might not be weekly, but it will definitely be more than every 4 months. 

 Always remember, God's Got This!

Tune-In Tuesday (but on a Wednesday): June 10, 2020

It's been a hot minute since I've updated this blog. My last post was on March 29 - oops! That was partly on purpose and partly me just being lazy. I kind of felt like a broken record and felt that people were getting tired of reading the same thing - ha. I was getting tired of my own blog, so I can only imagine how you, the reader, was feeling!

Today, I have an update. I had my "routine" neurology appointment yesterday (June 9). I started to update this blog last night, but got bored. My attention span was that of a gnat and other things intrigued me more then updating this blog. And by other things, I mean TV and not being on my computer (just being honest).

I was supposed to have this appointment back in January but it had to be rescheduled as my doctor was out of the office. This was the first available appointment. What can I say, he's a popular guy.

At the beginning of quarantine (BTW...still haven't learned how to spell that correctly!) and work from home (which started for me on March 13) I fell a couple of times, but eventually things started to get better. I think that's partly because I only have to walk steps from my bed to my office, so there's hardly any room to fall (but, in true Stephanie fashion, if there's a way, I'll do it!). I did fall last month while holding on to my brother. It takes talent to do that people. I'm not including this to embarrass my brother for not catching me (in his defense we were walking along just fine and then I wasn't! He didn't have time!); I'm including it because ya'll, I'm THAT talented!!! I wasn't/ am not walking that great but it hasn't really been a problem because I haven't had to walk much!

So yesterday, I had my appointment. It was a little weird just because of COVID-19. I had to wear a mask (duh!). I got my temperature taken as soon as I stepped foot in the door. It must have been normal as they let me all the way in. :) At the check-in window, I paid my co-pay and had to sign the receipt. I used a pen and after I was done they told me to put it in a basket different from where I got it, so they could sanitize it later. There were signs on a lot of the chairs saying not to sit there to keep a social distance from one another. Thankfully, I had an 8am appointment and was the only one in the waiting room. I thought that, since it's my birthday in a few days, as a gift, I could skip the weigh-in - no such luck! ;) When I saw Dr. T. he was wearing a mask, there was no shaking hands and he immediately sanitized his hands. It was great to see him. The first thing out of his mouth (after saying hi) was, "My wife met one of your family members, but I can't remember who right now." It was my sister-in-law. She had told me she met my doctor's wife. It truly is a small world. Anyway, the appointment went well overall. The only "bad" news was that he said I may have to have the battery replaced in my deep brain stimulation system in about a year to a year and half. While that may seem like it's far in the future, it's not. If I have to have it replaced within that timeline that's 2 battery replacements within 5-6 years. That means I'm going to have to have surgery every 5-6 years for the rest of my life. But - I'm not going to worry about that now. There is an option of a rechargeable battery and it seems like things are being invented every year. So we'll see. Dr. T. had a hard time at first even getting my device to connect to his system until he realized his system wasn't on. For a minute I thought, maybe my device needs to be replaced now if he's not even getting it to connect. Whew - I was glad to know that wasn't the case. He asked if I checked it (the battery) regularly. I admitted that I don't - only when I change the electricity. He suggested that I start checking it every couple of weeks or so. He watched me walk. I dislike this part of the appointment the most. I know it's why I'm there, but I dislike people watching me walk. He noticed that I was struggling. I know that I'm struggling, but the novelty of the the DBS system has worn off and I don't like "experimenting" with the settings anymore, so I tend to leave the electricity where it's at. But, he said I need to start "playing" with it again. There are many settings I can put it on. He asked me if I wanted him to increase the electricity. I told him since he was already checking it, yes! It would save me from having to do it later. Is that not the epitome of laziness on my part?! He increased the electricity by 2 volts, so now I'm at 3.30.

Dr. T. asked if I was having any pain. I'm so glad he asked because that was one of the things I was going to bring up. I've been having a lot of tenderness and discomfort (not necessarily pain) around where my battery is located. I had mentioned this to my primary care physician back in September and we thought it may be because I was sleeping on it. His medical advice was to stop sleeping on it. ;) Dr. T. examined the site and it's not infected or swollen. He couldn't feel any tightness in the wires. I told him that I first noticed the pain when I was doing yoga and just figured maybe I had pulled a muscle. He agreed with my primary care physician and said to maybe not exercise so hard and avoid yoga poses that aggravate it. So, I'm glad to hear it's nothing I need to worry about.

Last night I could tell the electricity was turned up. I had spasms in my foot. That could have been from exercising and having yoga in the same day, but I'm pretty sure it's from having the electricity turned up. I just have to power through. On the Frequency that I'm on now (A) I have 8 more volts I can go up on and 10 volts I can go down on. So we'll see how the next few weeks go. It's back to the drawing board so to speak. I know I'm not where I want to be (walking-wise), but when I think of where I've come to where I am now, I can't help but smile.

I know that in ALL things, God's Got This!

Tune-in-Tuesday (but on a Sunday): March 29, 2020

Hi ya'll! How's everyone doing? Going stir-crazy yet? How's self quarantining going? I've noticed that we all want what we don't have. What do I mean by that? Well those of with kids want them to go back to school. Those of us with spouses want 5 minutes alone, while those of us with no children and no spouses want all that chaos - haha! Even in this quarantine (and I'm still wanting to spell it quarentine!), God is still good!

I'm sorry I didn't update last Tuesday, but truth be told, I didn't want to sit at the computer anymore. ;) I am EXTREMELY BLESSED to have a job where I can work from home in these circumstances, but it's different. Ya'll know if you're doing the same thing. I'm also one of those people who want to "play by the rules" and somehow working from home makes me even more intent on staying at the computer ALL DAY to make sure my bosses and co-workers know I'm working and not slacking off - haha. HOWEVER, I've been on several Zoom meetings this past week with my boss and co-workers and the higher-ups at the company and they are ALL saying to take breaks - get away from the computer - breath. So, I'm trying to take their advice! Anyway, all that to describe why I didn't update. ;)

If you read my last blog post, you know I was having trouble and was debating on whether to take the electricity in my deep brain stimulation device down some. Well, I waited exactly two weeks (Yay! - go me. I WAITED!!!), but I did end up taking it down last Thursday (March 26 for my record keeping!). I took it back down to 3.00 volts (from 3.20) on Frequency A and now, I'm wondering if it's too low. Maybe I should land on 3.10. But for the time being it's at 3.20.

So, as stated above, I've been working from home.

Some of the "pros" of working from home:

- I can roll out of bed at 8:28am and be at work at 8:30am.
- I don't have to shower or put make-up or "real" clothes on (unless I know I have a Zoom meeting - ha!)
- I'm not interrupted.

Some of the "cons" of working from home:

- I'm not interrupted. I MISS MY CO-WORKERS SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I can't bounce ideas off my co-workers (well I can through instant messaging and e-mail, but it's not the same).
- I miss human contact.

Ya'll I've ALWAYS thought of myself as an introvert. And, I am - HOWEVER (more than ever), I miss my family and my friends. I miss human contact. I miss hugs. I miss get annoyed at people. I just miss people. We were not born to be isolated. We need each other. I am SO THANKFUL that we live in a time where there are Zoom meetings, Facebook, FaceTime, IM, text messaging, phone calls, e-mails, Instagram and everything else, because if we didn't live in this time, I think I might go crazy. Thank you, thank you to everyone who posts on Facebook and Instagram. To those that reach out in texts and phone calls. One of my absolute favorite things right now is getting to FaceTime with my nieces. It gives me life. My dad was testing out Zoom the other day and Zoomed me to test it. I LOVED IT!!! So, while I may be an introvert - I need people!! This quarantine is teaching me to be more social (after all this over with), to never take human contact for granted and to spend as much time with my family and friends as possible.

In this time of doubt and worry and panic and sadness, I've asked Jesus to show me how to be like Him every day. I'm being intentional about it. I want to represent Jesus in everything I do. So many people are scared and panicked and I want to bring just a little bit of calm to their world. Don't get me wrong. I have my moments of panic and hypochondria, but more often than not in this time, I've been calm. As many of you know (or don't know, that's fine too!), I suffer from panic attacks. I have since I was 10 or 11. It's a physiological (I hope I'm using the right word there) condition - meaning it's physical. I don't bring them on myself. I don't say, "Oh, let's have a panic attack today." It just happens. Yes, I have triggers and yes, I CAN get myself so worked up that I cause myself to have one, but for the most part it's physical. Anyway, since the coronavirus has hit, I've felt at peace. Is that the not the weirdest thing?! I saw something on Facebook and IMMEDIATELY related to it. I think it was meant to be funny, but ya'll it's me!! It said:

"I've noticed that people with anxiety disorders seem to be much calmer than the general population concerning the Coronavirus. Guess all these years of dealing with imaginary worst-case scenarios has actually made us more capable of dealing with real threats when they come - silver lining."

Again, I'm not saying I'm completely panic free. In fact, today, I HAD to pick up a prescription and also buy groceries. So now my hypochondria is in full force. Did I expose myself to the virus? Should I just have survived off of oatmeal? BUT, I also know that God's got this. He knows are needs. He was there yesterday, He's here today and He'll be here tomorrow.

I was talking with a co-worker (over instant message) and I told her that I was kind of scared that when we were allowed to be in crowds of people again that I would have a panic attack. She said that she hoped it wouldn't be like that. Since telling her that, God's allowed me to completely change my mind. I truly believe that when we are able to be together again, that I will be just fine. In fact, maybe I won't ever have another panic attack. My God is a God of Miracles - so it can happen!!!!!!!!

On a lighter note, I broke the "flusher" (not sure that's a word) on my toilet this morning. How does that even happen? I went to flush the toilet and the "flusher" fell off! Thankfully, we have a plumber in our church. I called him and he was able to fix it ASAP. I kind of felt guilty for calling him, you know, with the pandemic and stuff. I could of used my other bathroom, but I am so very thankful that it is fixed. It's one less thing to worry about.

Also during this pandemic, I have missed with all my heart my church family, however I have completely enjoyed listing to the worship services online. Only God really knows my heart and when I'm able to listen - just one on one (me and whomever is speaking), I've been able to really experience Jesus and his saving love for me. There's no distractions. It's just me and Jesus. I've been able to dig deeper into my faith. But, again, I miss my church family so, so very much and can't wait to see their faces, hug their necks and have human contact with them again! It pains me more than anything that we may not be able to worship together in person Holy Week and Easter, but God is still God and we will still celebrate the resurrection of our RISEN LORD.

Ya'll if you're worried, anxious, scared, panicked - please reach out to someone. Reach out to me. God is so good. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt -

GOD'S GOT THIS!!!!

Tune-In-Tuesday (but on a Wednesday): March 18, 2020

First, I'm sorry I didn't blog yesterday. I worked all day (which is not unlike every Tuesday (or Monday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday) - ha!) but the difference was that I worked from home and as silly as this sounds, my laptop was in the same place I usually blog from and I just didn't feel like sitting down anymore and writing - so - I'm blogging today. Why I feel like ya'll have to know that information, I don't know - ha!

Anyway, how are all ya'll doing being quarantined? Or are you even quarantined? Maybe I have to be quarantined so that I learn to spell quarantine. Literally for all 4 times that I typed quarantined (now 5) I've spelled it "quarentine". That's embarrassing, but true. 😉

I did do a live Facebook video yesterday (maybe that made up for not writing a blog!). It was fun, however I'm sure those that tuned in got bored because I didn't know what to talk about. Imagine that - me - who loves to write and spill my guts - couldn't come up with stuff to talk about. Haha. I'm not going to lie though, it was fun. Maybe I'll do it again. Send me topics to talk on though. 😉

I've always thought of myself as an introvert. I am an introvert - no doubt about it. However, in times like these, I'm not so introverted. I need human contact. I go stir-crazy. My personality is somewhat like this: If you tell me I can't do something, I try to prove you wrong. It's like a challenge for me. I don't even know what personality that would be defined as. But what I'm saying is that now that I know I'm not supposed to go anywhere, I have to go to all the places!! What gives?! And just to be clear - I'm not quarantined (again, I misspelled it and had to correct it!) because I have the Coronavirus. I'm quarantined because my work has told all of us that we are to work from home through (at least) March 27. And then we're hearing on TV to not go out unless necessary, so anyway - that's why I'm quarantined. I really, really think quarantined should be spelled quarentined. What is up with me and not being able to spell that word?!?! I might take a drive later to Cades Cove or something, (maybe just my neighborhood!) just to get out of the house, but still be quarantined (to my car). We're all in this together, just quarantined from each other. How backward is that?!

As for dystonia stuff: it's been a so-so week. After updating last week that I hadn't fallen any, I fell on Wednesday. Yep, the day after I updated. Right there in church. I think only one person saw me (I HOPE at least only one person saw me), but I of course bloodied my knee. Interestingly enough, I was wearing pantyhose (don't judge, I wear them to cover up my flour white legs and also to keep warm in the office. It's crazy, but just that little sheath blocks out the cold in the office!) and for the first time EVER, I didn't get a hole or rip in them at all. How does that even happen?!! They were only bloody. That explains why I couldn't keep Band-Aids on my leg though - haha. Yes, I put them over the pantyhose and they wouldn't stick. I'll admit, I was preoccupied and worried about the band-aids coming off during church. They did come off several times and I reapplied them. We had Communion and I was so worried they would come off as I walked up to Communion or when I had to kneel. I didn't want to get the kneeling cushions bloody! It's kind of funny (not really) how Satan distracts us. I prayed though and guess what?! They didn't fall off and I got nothing bloody!! However, after church was over, I noticed that at some point after Communion, they had fallen off. I looked everywhere in the pew for them and couldn't find them. I gave up. It wasn't until just a couple of days ago that I found them. Stuck to the bottom of the shoes I was wearing that night - phew! No one had to find my bloody band-aids and dispose of them. Thank you, Jesus.

I had a bloody nose at the beginning of the month. I don't think that has to do with anything related to dystonia, but I will say, I've never had more bloody noses then I do now after brain surgery. Is that a thing? Probably not and I'm probably going into hypochondria by overthinking things like that. On a side note: how was I able to spell hypochondria correctly the very first time and I still can't spell quarantine correctly after like 13 times?!

So yeah, needless to say, I've been having issues. I finally decided to see what level of electricity I was on (because, I literally forgot and don't remember the last time I fooled with the electricity.) I thought I was on 3.2 volts, but good thing I checked because I was actually on only 3.0 volts. So last Thursday (March 12 - for my record keeping 😉) I took the electricity up to 3.2. And today, I'm thinking about taking it back down again to 3.0. I haven't yet, but I'm contemplating it. Walking hasn't gotten better and even though I haven't given it two weeks (which is the length my neurologist said to give any level to see if it works, unless it's just too much to bear), I'm thinking of going back down. My foot doesn't lay flat on the floor (acting like it's got too much electricity). So...we'll see. It's a guessing game with this condition and with the electricity. I'm glad I have options, but sometimes it's frustrating.

Maybe God's quarantining me so I'll start writing a book?! People keep telling me I should. Maybe I will. Not that I can write a whole book in a week or even a month. But maybe I'll start on it. I've kind of written a book here in just this blog post, haven't I?! When I want to write, the words just flow. When I'm forced to write, they come slower. I guess that's what it's like for everyone, right? Or am I the only one that feels this way?

OK, I'll close now. I hope everyone stays well and keeps their sanity in this insane environment we are currently living in. And as always, remember: GOD'S GOT THIS!!!

Tune-In-Tuesday: March 10, 2020

You’d think that I hate writing by my reluctance to update this blog tonight (and last week). I’ll be honest, it’s felt like a chore. I don’t know why that is. I didn’t update last Tuesday because I had just updated the Saturday before, but for the past few weeks, every time Tuesday’s rolled around, I’ve not felt led to write. Sometimes I feel like a broken record saying the same thing over and over, however I do love having a record of what’s been going on and when it happened. So tonight, I’m forcing myself to sit down and write an entry. After all, I really do love writing. In fact, last night I even had a dream that I had a book being published. 😊

Walking has been difficult these past few weeks. I haven’t fallen, but I haven’t been walking with ease either. I’ve been on the struggle bus. I think a lot of has to do with the weather. However, even though it’s been a struggle, I am grateful. I’m grateful that I can walk – no matter how slow or awkward. I’m grateful that I have a desk job. I’m grateful that I have a one-story house. I could go on. 😉 I know that this is just a season and it will pass. There will be better walking days ahead!

Thanks for reading this short, but (hopefully) sweet entry! Stay well, wash your hands and always remember: God’s Got This!

Tune-In-Tuesday (but on a Saturday): February 29, 2020

I didn't update the blog this past Tuesday somewhat because I had a million things going on and ran out of time and somewhat because I knew that February 29 this year fell on a Saturday and I'd have time to blog then. And yet, here it is at 10 pm on February 29 and I'm finally updating.😉 To catch you up, on February 23, 2020, I celebrated the 4th anniversary of my deep brain stimulation surgery. How did I celebrate? I tripped over the vacuum cord and bloodied my knee. I had just taken the band-aid off too. 😊 How appropriate! You think life’s going one way and then God shakes things up a little bit. How in the world has it been 4 years?! If you'd like to read what I wrote about that day 4 years ago, you can do so here: 2nd Surgery It was by far the most unique thing I've ever been through.

Happy Leap Day/Year! This is the first time since having it done that I can recognize/celebrate the anniversary of my last (of 3) surgeries for deep brain stimulation. I didn't have to have 3 surgeries because it was messed up or anything - it's just a 3 surgery process. February 29, 2016 I had the battery for the deep brain stimulation device implanted and all the wires from the device in my brain to the battery connected. The deep brain stimulation wouldn't be turned on until March 29, 2016, but the surgery part of the process was complete with this surgery. It was NOT lost on me that this final surgery was done on LEAP day. I WILL LEAP again!! In some ways it's very hard to believe it's been 4 years. It's not been the "instant" miracle I was praying for, but would I do it all over again? HECK YES!!!

I was out running errands this afternoon and I was WALKING. I was walking without a cane, without a walker, without assistance. While I still struggle, it's nowhere near the struggle I had 4 years ago. I can only say I am beyond blessed.

If you'd like to read what I wrote 4 years ago about the surgery, you can do so here: 3rd Surgery

I am a firm believer that God allows us to struggle so that we don't forget about Him. He has, is and will always be with me in this journey. Thank you, readers, for also following along on this journey with me.

Always remember: God's Got This!