I am not going to lie; the past week was a little rough. I fell again. This time it was on Wednesday in the hallway at church. Thankfully, only one person saw me, and he didn’t see me fall (I don’t think), he came after. He asked if I was OK and I was. I didn’t bleed, so I consider that a win.😊 It wasn’t until I went up for Communion later that night and I kneeled down that I realized, I must of bruised something. Can you bruise a nerve? As weird as that sounds, that’s what it feels like. It’s not pain but it’s like a nerve got damaged or bruised or aggravated. I also have a nice bruise on my arm where I caught the wall on the way down.
This morning - on a whim - I decided to turn the electricity in my deep brain stimulation device down. My rational on that is this: I haven’t been walking well for a few weeks now. I tend to walk without bending my knee because I feel more supported that way. That’s not good, but I feel if my knee bends, my foot will spasm. I’m also walking on the outer edge of my foot. Basically, my foot isn’t laying flat when I walk. My left hand has also been giving me problems, by curling/cramping up – all signs that I might have too much electricity. I also thought that maybe a “jolt” (AKA just doing something different with the electricity) in my system would help. So, down I went. I kept myself on the same frequency – A but went down one “point”: from 3.60 volts to 3.50 volts. I also decided today to take the batteries out of my DBS remote. I keep the remote in my purse, but inevitably it inadvertently gets turned on and off being crammed in there and every time I go to use the remote, the batteries are dead. So, I’m keeping the batteries in my purse, but will only put them in when I need to use the remote. Maybe one day, I won’t carry the remote with me, but it still gives me comfort that if I need to change the amount of electricity I give myself ASAP, I can do it (if the batteries aren't dead!). I prayed this morning that God would lead me to what He wants me to write about tonight in this post. But then I quickly made an addendum and asked that it NOT include me falling – haha. Sometimes, being very specific with God is good.
God’s been showing up for me big time this past week in the form of people to help me along the way. Grant it, I can walk, and with God’s grace, I will make it to wherever I need to go, however, I won’t decline help unless I absolutely do not need it (and let me tell you, this past week I needed it). Sunday, a friend helped me into church. Last night I had help getting in to and out of a funeral at church. If you are the people that I’m talking about (past and present!), please know that I appreciate you so much!! It’s hard to not be as independent as I would like and sometimes, I get overwhelmingly frustrated, but then I have to turn the way I see the situation around and be thankful for the “extra” time spent with friends/family who come to help out. Thank you to all of you who have and continue to help!
One of my work besties, Sarah, put a smile on my face this week by donating money to Down with Dystonia. It's a charitable organization that does research on dystonia. Our company donates on behalf of us to different charitable organizations that we choose. She donated on behalf of me. I have the SWEETEST friends. Thank you, Sarah.
This is the verse of the day that popped up today in my Bible app:
I thought it so appropriate. I even prayed that I would have compassion, kindness and patience with my body. I’m all too often talking very harsh to myself. I am my own worst critic and find every flaw. But, God’s given me this body as a gift. He specifically gave it to ME. Therefore, He trusts me with it. He knows that with him, I can handle it. He wants me to be kind to it, to nourish it, to love it, flaws and all. Sometimes, that is very, very hard for me to do, but I continually try to work on it. I have many rough patches, but there again, I’m still a work in progress. We all are – as long as we are alive on this earth – we are works-in-progress.
Always remember, God’s Got This!
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