Tune-In-Tuesday: November 27, 2018

I have never heard of this before, but I guess this is where my naivety about such things shines brightly. I went to get one of my dystonia medications refilled and was told that they were out of stock and the medication was on back-order. The manufacturer was telling the pharmacy that they wouldn't be able to supply them with the medication until January. Now grant it, January isn't too far away, but I'd need the medication before January! The pharmacist informed me that he had called other pharmacy's and they were out of the medication too. His advice to me was to call other pharmacy's (that he hadn't already called) or call my doctor and tell him the situation. Thankfully (praise Jesus!), I called Walmart's pharmacy and they had some - crisis averted!

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving spent with family. In fact, it was so wonderful that I celebrated Thanksgiving twice! Dad and Mom had their book-end children and my grandmother on Thanksgiving. My two middle brothers were with their in-laws. But the day after Thanksgiving, one of my middle brothers and his family came and celebrated with us. Mom's cooking is just that good - we had it both nights!

After Thanksgiving, I started putting up all my Christmas decorations. I love Christmas and decorating for it. I bought a new Christmas tree this year since my other one's lights bit the dust last year and I had to improvise. The new tree is 7.5ft, only half an inch taller than my previous tree, but that half of an inch caused me some problems. One, I couldn't reach the top to put the star on. I have a little step ladder and I tried, but I was way too off balance. My mom came over and I thought maybe if she "held" me, I could do it, but it turns out that didn't work either. My dad came over and he was able to put the star on the tree, but we realized that the star was touching the ceiling. That's how we ended up leaving it (because what else could we have done?). I should of taken Dad up on his offer to connect the star to a power source, but truth be told I had to go get (buy) another extension cord. I did that and was easily able to connect the star to it. However, in doing that, I somehow made the star move (I didn't feel myself tugging on it or anything.). So, as of now, the star's on facing the side of the tree. I tried rotating the tree to no avail. Dad will have to come back and fix it for me, but I didn't feel like I could bother him again last night when he had just been over the day before! I'll ask him tomorrow...maybe he can stop by after church. I'm trying also to find the beauty in the "imperfectly perfect". So the star's a little crooked. ;)

I got tickets from a friend at work for the Fantasy of Trees that was held at the convention center this past weekend. Mom and I went on Sunday afternoon and had a great time. But, it's at times like this that I realize I'm not as great at walking as I want to believe. It's just that I have to go at my own pace sometimes, so when I'm with someone that's walking faster I see that I can't do that (yet). At least I am able to walk, even if it's not perfect.

I'm very thankful, grateful and blessed by everyone and everything in my life. Taking time to reflect on all of that over Thanksgiving was wonderful. Always remember, God's Got This!

Tune-in-Tuesday: November 20, 2018

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope you’re able to spend it with the ones you love and be able to reflect on things that you are most thankful for.

This post is going to be short and sweet as I really don't have a lot to update on. The past week was a mixed-bag, walking-wise. I haven’t been able to get back to where I was a month ago, however I am seeing improvement. Since I’ve been able to walk relatively well before, I know that I will again, but it’s frustrating in the “in-between” times.

This past Friday, after yoga, I started walking better. I have no idea why or how except to say that God thought I could use a pick-me-up. 😉

I walked well on Saturday, foregoing having to use a shopping cart to help me in to stores, but by the end of the day, I was ready to just lay on the couch. Sunday was mixed with times that I could walk and then other times when I needed a little more help.

When walking is difficult, I’m all “woe is me”, but God commands me to be thankful in ALL situations. Not some, not the parts when everything is going swimmingly, but in ALL circumstances. This is something I’m working on and yet struggling with at the same time. Then I see or hear of someone who has it MUCH worse than me and I am once again reminded of how truly blessed I am.

Again, may you have a blessed Thanksgiving and always remember that God's Got This!

Tune-in-Tuesday: November 13, 2018

I've been thinking about what to write about tonight. My walking has not been the greatest this past week. But I can also say it hasn't been the worst either. The weather hasn't played nice (meaning it's been cold and wet) and I know that's contributed to my walking woes, but as I sit here tonight writing this post I can truthfully say that I am still blessed beyond measure. On a day-to-day basis, I can get incredibly frustrated about things, but when I actually take the time to reflect on things, I can only see how blessed I am.

I was talking with a co-worker today about my nieces (I mean, who's surprised by that?!). She said something like "all those girls" and I said to her that what a lot of people don't know is that the family is dominated by boys. I have three brothers and no sisters, I'm the only girl out of 11 grandchildren on my Mom's side and I'm one of only two girls out of 11 grandchildren on my Dad's side. Boys are everywhere!! :) My co-worker remarked that God must have been listening to someone's prayers about letting girls be born into the family, to which I replied, "Mine! He answered MY prayers! Talk about patience and waiting on the Lord, it took 34 years, but God finally answered MY prayers about girls!" No sooner had the words come out of my mouth that I realized GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS ALL THE TIME ON HIS OWN TIME. I've known this, but it was just a reminder that He does listen and hear and answer prayer. What does this have to do with my walking? It reminded me again to continue to pray for healing. He is able. I am so much better than I was, but I still struggle. Maybe that's the answer He wants me to accept, but maybe not. So I must keep praying, keep asking, keep having faith that God knows all and He knows what He is doing in my life.

Yesterday, I did something I've never done before: I took the wrong medicine at the wrong time. I'm supposed to take this one medication twice a day. It's a Parkinson's drug, but helps with muscle spasms. I usually take it right when I get up in the morning and then after lunch. Yesterday, I took it three times. As soon as I swallowed it, I knew I'd taken the wrong meds. I was still at work (but it was the end of the work day) and my co-worker (the same one I talked about in the above paragraph) was still there too. I immediately said, "I took the wrong meds!" to which she replied, "Do we need to take you to get your stomach pumped?!" So maybe we were both being a little dramatic - haha! I looked up the medication and its side-effects and I wasn't going to die or overdose from taking it three times a day instead of two, but it did rattle me a little because I'm usually so careful about that kind of thing. The funny thing is, if I were in trouble, I have an ER doctor brother and a pharmacist sister-in-law that I could call or see if need be.

Does anyone watch The Good Doctor? It's one of my "new" (it's in its second season on ABC) favorite shows. I love it. A couple of weeks back they had a DBS story line. The patient who ended up getting DBS got it for different reasons than I did, but it was still fascinating to see it on main stream TV. It's gaining popularity - ha! Interestingly, the story line on The Good Doctor involved a woman getting it to help her with an eating disorder. This surgery is used for a lot of things!

Humbling experience of the week: Yoga. I told my instructor that I had been practicing the "L Stand". Then I tried to do it for her and couldn't even get my feet up the wall. We tried new poses and I couldn't get my balance. It was just a humbling class. I felt like I couldn't get anything right. She did cheer me on and said my sun salutations were great, but I was feeling defeated and oh so humbled. At the same time, I couldn't get 2 Corinthians 12:9 out of my head, ""But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." His grace is sufficient for me. Just because I can't do something 100% the first time I do it, does not mean I won't ever be able to do it, it just means that I have something to strive for, a goal to achieve and yet at the same time, HIS power is made perfect in MY weakness. I don't like being weak, but I am always closest to God in my weakest moments.

So, yes, while I may get frustrated in day-to-day mishaps, I am most certainly blessed beyond measure because I know that in all things, God's Got This!

Tune-in-Tuesday: November 6, 2018

This past week I've had some good walking moments and some not-so good ones. I turned the electricity in my DBS device down on October 28 and gave it a week. There were some really good moments, but to be honest I was still having a lot of problems walking and I was getting frustrated.

When I "experiment" with the electricity, there are a few things that can occur. I'm going to try and explain one of them - the symptom/side effect I despise the most. Unless you have similar circumstances, you may not be able to imagine this, but I'll try to explain it. In simple terms my leg jerks. Sometimes it's my leg, other times it's my foot. It can also be my knee and still other times it's more my thigh muscles. But, when it jerks, I have no control and that's what causes a lot of falls or feeling "off-balance" or causes me to walk stiff-legged. I walk stiff-legged because I feel like if I bend my knee it'll spasm or my foot will spasm and I'll lose my balance. I can not stand the jerking. I lose all confidence in my ability to stay vertical. This is what happened this past week. I gave it a week to work itself out. ;) There were days at work that were fantastic. I walked with more confidence and a greater ability to keep myself upright. However, the times that were difficult outweighed the times that were good, so this past Sunday, November 4, I decided to go back up on the electricity. I had only gone down one notch the week before, but it's one notch too low, I think. ;) So I went back up to 2.90 volts.

And everything was perfect after that....

Or maybe not. God's the author of this story (my life) and He doesn't always see things like I see things (to say the least!). When I want things to work one way, He see things working another. When I think a situation is going to turn out one way, God sees it turning out another way. But it's all good!!

God has a sense of humor. Really, He does. I turned the electricity up before going to church on Sunday. I still felt really off-balanced, but prayed that it would all work out and that I wouldn't fall. I walked into church without help (That's not true, God is ALWAYS my help, but I meant no help from other people.). I was slow - very slow and awkward - very awkward, but God let the situation work itself out just like He deemed it. There were people around that I could have asked help from, but had I had help I wouldn't have learned what He wanted me to learn, so I'm grateful for the experience. Had I had help, my confidence would have lacked because I wouldn't have been "forced" to do it "on my own". (Again, even if I may look "on my own", I'm not, because God is with me each step of the way). I wouldn't have known that I could walk (albeit very, very slow) and not fallen that day. Had I had help, I would not have been humbled as I was. A good dose of humility is good. While it's humiliating at the time (hence the word!), it turns my eyes back to Jesus. To see people walk in with no issue at all, and to realize that I still have issues even after deep brain stimulation surgery - that's humbling to me. I'm sure you have your humbling scenarios as well. But with humility comes confidence, for my confidence comes from the Lord and to be humbled in His sight - well I don't think there's anything better.

Here it is Tuesday and I'm still having issues and not walking as I would like. But I have hope. It's not all bad. I love that when I'm feeling weak in one area of my life, God allows me to find strength in another. While walking hasn't been the best, I'm enjoying and finding physical strength in yoga. From planks to push-ups, I feel stronger. Where once, I could only barely even do one push-up, I can do lots more now. I can see growth and growth is always good. I know that I have walked well before and I'll walk well again and in this lull time, I'll keep reminding myself that God's still writing my story and that God's Got This!