I learned this past week how much my niece, Hope, and I are alike. She just turned one and is "this close" to taking off walking. My sister-in-law was telling me that she walks better on carpet then on hardwood. I do the same! She also told me that when she's distracted, she walks more steps, but once she realizes she is walking, she falls. I do the same!! Haha. So, 36 years may separate us, but we are still alike in some ways. Hope will be running before we know it!
I must admit I had some issues this past week. I think I may have psyched myself out on a couple of occasions, but nonetheless, I had some issues getting into church. Thankfully, both times there was someone there to help. It's weird: I don't like people watching me walk, however, I don't mind and actually want people to walk with me. Once someone is beside me, I feel like I walk better. This has proven true, even with my nieces. If I hold their hand (or they hold mine), I walk fine. I guess it's just enough distraction to get my mind off of walking? Who knows! But I do have many "tricks" that I use to walk.
My foot and toes are healing - I think! They are still swollen, but maybe not as bad. I go back to Dr. Gardner this coming Thursday, so hopefully he'll say they are healing. I've been icing my foot every night for half an hour. My foot still aches, but I assume that's the tendons being stretched and lengthened. I dug my old brace out of the closet to show Dr. Gardner. While I was doing that, I found another brace. I packed it as well, but the more I thought about it the more confused I got. I knew of only one brace that was made for me. Then, it dawned on me. The second brace was not a foot brace at all, but rather the brace they made for my left arm right after the deep brain stimulation surgery when I lost function in that arm for awhile. Needless to say, I'm not bringing that brace to Dr. Gardner!
I've been wearing this boot since April 18. That means I only need to wear one shoe. I kid you not though when I say, almost every time I've gone to get my shoe, I've picked up the left one. All the right ones should be on top of the left ones, right? I mean when I take my shoe off at the end of the day I throw it into the bin, so logically thinking they should all be on top and yet, I grab the left shoe every time. ;)
In my last post, I talked about the tape that I got to tape my two toes together and how there were black, pink and glitter tape to pick from. I had picked the black, but thought afterwards I should have picked the pink. Well, I needn't have worried! I wore through all that tape in a week's time. I had to go by more over the weekend and this time, I got pink!
There have been restless nights where I rip the tape off of my toes and loosen the boot. For whatever reason, my foot decides to ache mostly at night. But this too shall pass.
Today at work, my foot started itching so bad. Of course it itched where I couldn't reach it and I didn't want to have to take the boot off to itch it. It just takes forever to get it off and on again. Yard stick to the rescue! Yep, a yard stick did just the trick.
I continue to get sympathy from the outside world. We went out to eat for Mother's Day on Sunday and this gentleman held the door open for me. He said, "I just hate that you have to wear that!" I didn't know this man, but he was genuinely sympathetic to me having to wear the boot. It also made me realize again that I need to be more kind to people in general because you never know what someone's going through. A simple smile, a wave or door held open could mean the world to someone. Sometimes (OK, most of the time!), I'm so wrapped up in my own little world and my own problems, that I don't extend kindness or grace to people that God puts in my path. I really, really, really want to be kind and compassionate and loving and full of grace. I'm going to consciously try to make other people's days brighter. I want God's love to radiate from me. This is my prayer. God has been so gracious to me, so kind to me, so compassionate to me, so loving to me, how can I not be these things to the people He puts in my path?! Lord, may it be so that I am kind, compassionate, loving and full of grace towards everyone I come in contact with.
Here it is, a year and a few months after deep brain stimulation surgery and are things perfect? No. BUT - things are a million and one times better then they were a year and a few months ago. I still marvel when I realize that I am walking (however slow or awkward it may be at times). I still praise the name of Jesus because He is working in me. This journey's not over yet and just like last week and the week before that and the week before that, I can declare and shout with all my might and know deep down inside, GOD'S GOT THIS!!!!!!!!!!
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