Turn-It-Over Tuesday: July 5

Today’s blog entry isn’t titled "Turn-It-Up Tuesday" nor is it titled "Tune-In Tuesday" and that’s because neither title fit. ;)

This past week, I once again realized that lots of stuff can happen within a 48 hour time period. The “stuff” I speak of left me wrestling with myself last night. Today marks the end of the 4 week “fast” that Dr. T. wanted me on. I stayed at 4.00 volts for 4 weeks. Knowing this last night, gave me pause, because just this past Saturday and Sunday “stuff” happened.

On Saturday, God gave me courage. I decided to practice walking. I was at church from 11am-1pm. I walked in with the walker and the cane, but once I was in the Fellowship hall, I decided to put both the walker and cane aside in an adjoining room and see if I could walk. The Fellowship hall is carpeted and there were plenty of tables and chairs I could hold on to if I needed them, but ya’ll, I walked without the cane or the walker for 2 hours. It’s not the first time that I’ve been able to walk without a walker or cane. I do walk like that at my parent’s house on their carpet and there’s the beach, but I must admit, I was still pretty proud of myself.

Sunday, I wanted to prove to myself that the day before wasn’t a fluke. My niece was baptized and I was one of her godmothers!!!! Her other godmother was my sister-in-law’s sister, Anna. Anna and I were sitting on the front row. I told her I was probably going to take my walker and prop it up against the back wall. She asked if I wanted her to take it back there for me. Usually, when someone asks me this, I say yes, but Sunday, I told her no. I needed to practice walking. So then she asked me if I wanted her to walk with me and I said yes. I dropped the walker off and made the treacherous (haha) walk back to the front row. It wasn’t without struggle and I eventually started grabbing the end seats on every row to steady myself more. It wasn’t pretty, but I did make it to my seat without falling and without using the walker. I did use the cane, Anna and the seats, but I made it! I told Anna, I thought the reason that I was having more trouble was that people were watching me this time. She responded with, “But you know these people.” Exactly. I think I was more nervous because I do know these people and they know what I’ve been through and what I’m waiting on. Anna and I came up with a “plan” on how to get into our positions for the baptism. We only had to walk a couple of steps, but I was still nervous about doing it. We decided that she would walk beside me and her arm would be available if I needed it to balance myself. I made it up to the baptism and back to my seat with minimal problems, although I was much stiffer and my walking more calculated on the way back to my seat then it was on the way up to the baptismal font. After church, when we were all hanging out waiting to get pictures made, I walked fine without a walker or a cane. What gives?! There were more people around to grab ahold of if I needed to. ;) After the service we all went over to my brother and sister-in-law’s house for lunch. I was fine walking into their house and for the most part walking around their house, but I found trouble navigating their stairs. Walking up the stairs, I have no problems. Walking down the stairs, I have major problems. I also had a hard time walking out of their house. I think that was due to the fact that I sat for too long and was stiff.

I wrestled with myself last night though because I did see progress over the weekend. I wondered if I gave it one more week at 4.00 volts would it be even better. Or should I e-mail the doctor and ask him what to do? Or should I call Mom and Dad and get their opinion? What I ended up doing was none of the above. Instead I prayed about it. I prayed that God would give me a clear answer. Then I used these blog posts I write to look back and make sure I really was at the four week mark. I was. I also looked back to see what voltage I started the deep brain stimulation at. It was at 2.10 volts.
I woke up this morning and knew exactly what I was going to do. I couldn’t get the thought “just take a leap of faith” out of my head. I knew that was God. So, my leap of faith was to change the frequency on my deep brain stimulation device. Where I had started out on the “A” frequency, I was now going to try the “B” frequency (thus “turning it over” as in the title of this blog entry.). I had asked Dr. T. what the difference in the frequencies was. He said that frequency “B” accessed more of my brain and gave more stimulation. I thought I’d start out at 2.10 volts since that’s where I started the “A” frequency, but when I switched to “B” it was automatically already set to 3.00 volts, so I left it there.

I feel confident that this will work. If it doesn’t, I can always go back to the “A” frequency and be happy with the little improvement I eventually saw. But, I KNOW it’ll work. God’s got this. I did my part. I have faith that God knows what He’s doing. I have faith that I will walk again assistance free. Thank you for all the continued prayers and love. I’ll keep everyone up to date on what God’s doing!