Shouting From the Rooftop

Epic. That's the only word I can think of to describe the past couple of days in regards to walking. In my last post on Tuesday, I revealed that I changed frequencies in my deep brain stimulation device. Yesterday, when I woke up, I got this CRAZY idea that maybe I could walk around work with just a cane. So I used my walker to walk into work, but I also brought my cane. I got to my cubicle. I left my walker there and I WALKED (with the cane) to the break room to drop my lunch off. Then I walked to back to my cube. Later, I walked to the bathroom and back. Then I walked to my boss's office and back. I walked to meetings. I walked to other co-worker's cubicles. I walked with out a walker!!! All day. 8:30am until 5:30pm. I walked.

In case you don't know this about me, I'll let you in on a little secret: I'm stubborn. Like to a fault sometimes. But every once in a while, my stubbornness is a blessing. After that first jaunt to the break room and back, I willed myself to only use the cane to get around. Believe me, by early afternoon, I wanted to throw in the towel and use the walker. But the stubborn side of me wouldn't let me do it. The only time I used the walker on Wednesday was to walk in and out of work.

Co-workers were stunned. I got comments all day like: "Oh my gosh! Where's your walker? You're doing so great!" If I haven't mentioned it before, I'll mention it now: my co-workers are the absolute BEST!! They don't stare. They don't judge. They support. They cheer me on. They love. And for that, I'm speechless. Knowing how much they care brings me to tears. I could never in a million years ever repay them for what they are to me and what they've done for me.

Walking yesterday was NOT PRETTY!! I mean sometimes, I was going along just fine and then I'd just stop. Mid-gait. Just stop. My brain had to catch up with my legs or my legs had to catch up with my brain. I stumbled once (but didn't fall!). I think the stumble actually made me walk better. It was like my brain and body were saying, "You got the stumble out of the way, now walk!!". In fact, I didn't fall once. Not once!!! I got home last night and got a crazy thought in my head: I needed to walk to the mailbox and back. I know, crazy, right?!! You have to understand: I have not walked to the mailbox and back in I'd say about 10 years. At least not without the walker. I usually just pull up in my car and get the mail. I took one step out of the garage and heard a clap of thunder. I prayed, "Lord, if you want me to walk to the mailbox and back, please, please, please keep it from raining, thundering and lighting long enough for me to do it!" And you know what? He did! I SO wanted to take the "easy" way out and walk on the grass. Yes, just like sand, grass is quite easy for me to walk on. But you know what? I didn't walk on it last night. I spent the entire time on my driveway or on the street. It was slow. Steady sometimes, not so steady other times, but I made it to the mailbox and didn't fall. Then I made it back to the garage and didn't fall!!! You can't possibly know how epic this was to me, but God knows. I was giddy. I walked to the mailbox and back with no walker!!! I walked all day around work with no walker!! Grant it, I didn't walk far - either at work or to get my mail, but I don't even care. I did it!! And yet, I didn't do it. I know without a shadow of a doubt, none of that would have been possible without God allowing it. None of it. It wasn't me walking, it was God leading and me having faith as small as a mustard seed. In some respects I think yesterday was more mentally exhausting then it was physically. When I got home last night, I realized the date: July 6, 2016. There's nothing really monumental about that date, except for the fact that two months from that date on September 6, 2016, I return to Vanderbilt for my 6 month post-op check-up. I LOVE how God works like that!

So, as epic as Wednesday was, today was just as epic - maybe even more. I walked into work with just my cane. Yep, you read that right. I left my walker in the car. I parked in the parking garage at work. The garage is on the opposite side of the building in regards to where I sit. So, in essence, I walked the entire length of the building to my seat, with just my cane. No walker. I have to let those words and the meaning of them sink in. No walker. I walked. I used the cane, yes, but NO WALKER!! I didn't fall. Again, the magnitude of this is epic to me. Thank you for indulging with me on just how epic it is. My co-worker Jeremy was the first in after me. I asked him to come to my cube. He did. I asked him if he noticed anything missing from my cube. He looked around a few seconds and then it hit him: no walker! I have so much room now in my cube! I had to take a picture.:

As epic as the last two days have been, I debated on whether to write this post. I mean, I had a harder time walking out to my car this evening. I did it (thanks, Gerard and Debbie for walking with me!), but not without some difficulty. It's not "perfect". It's not like I've ditched the walker for good. Maybe I'll be able to walk into work again tomorrow with just a cane. But then again, maybe not. I have a feeling that I'll have epically bad days in my future. That's just life. I know this journey. I know that it hasn't just been smooth sailing from day one. There are backslide days. There are days when I have to (what feels like) relearn everything I thought I'd learned the day before. But for TODAY (and in this case yesterday too!), I have had experiences in which I am so, so very happy about, that I can not NOT share them with others.

I was talking with another co-worker and it hit me: I MUST tell you all about my success because you've been there for the times in which I haven't had success. I owe it to you to tell you about the good things in life, the sweet moments in time that God so graciously gives me, even though I don't deserve them. I owe it to you because of the prayers you have prayed for me and the encouraging words you have spoken to me. Some of you have seen me at my absolute worst and yet you still love me. Thank you! Thank you for your continued prayers. Thank you!

I'm not writing this post to brag (but "if I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." I Corinthians 11:30). I'm not writing this post to say "look at me". I'm writing this post to glorify God. I'm writing it to boast in Him. "Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord"" I Corinthians 1:31. For it is HIM who has allowed me to have these past two epic days. I completely understand that He is the one who gave them to me and He can also take them away. God knows the private conversations I've had with Him. The bargaining I've done with Him. (And yes, I know that's not right, but I've done it). In those private prayers with God, I've told Him that I will "shout it from the rooftop" how wonderful He is. So this is my shout. Today was an epically good day. Today, I walked without a walker. Today, I am celebrating and praising the Lord for His kindness to me.

Yes, this is my rooftop shout to all the world: GOD'S GOT THIS!!! He is MIGHTY and SOVEREIGN. GOD'S GOT THIS!!!