I've resorted to walking with my walker again. My walking has been awful - like before deep brain stimulation surgery - awful. I am having problems walking even with the walker. It's not just that, but my balance is off. But, there is hope on the horizon and for that I am very, very thankful. In the words of a friend of mine: "Be safe, it's temporary. At least you can confirm again how much of a difference the [deep brain stimulation] surgery made." Yes, yes I can confirm that now! It's easy to lose sight of progress made when I'm in the thick of things, but being reminded of how awful it can be brings immense thankfulness for the modern-day advances in medicine and medical procedures. I am once again reminded how grateful I am for deep brain stimulation surgery!
Yesterday, I was telling the story to my future sister-in-law of my surgeries and experiences and my brother almost passed out. OK, not really but he was a little squeamish. ;) It's good to remember where you come from. Maybe this was (is) God's intention. He wanted (wants) me to remember from where I came to where I am. I get so bogged down in the day-to-day activities and weariness of dealing with walking issues that I forget how incredibly blessed I am. As I was recalling my experiences, I remembered that for at least a month after the surgery, I couldn't move my left arm and hand. That ability eventually came back - PRAISE THE LORD - and I can type and hold things and lift things and clasp things with that arm and hand. And with my walking - yes, I still have problems - particularly in wide open spaces and places where I feel like I can't grab ahold of something if need be (to steady myself) and walking on certain surfaces is hard (and on others extremely easy - weird, I know) - but I can walk unassisted for the most part. If I need a cane - to walk in parking lots or on certain surfaces - so be it. That was my original goal anyway - to be able to walk with just a cane. And - I have surpassed that with flying colors! It is so, so good to be reminded again of how faithful God was and is. Just typing this makes me smile with joy knowing once the battery is replaced, I will once again get to that place of walking freely for the most part and hopefully not be ashamed if I need the cane every once in awhile.
I've also been having a lot of pain where the battery for the deep brain stimulator is located (right under my collarbone on my left side). It's not painful all the time, but it's noticeable if I sleep on that shoulder or work-out. I've mentioned it both to my neurologist and my primary care doctor. They've both checked it out and neither could find anything wrong. Maybe the neurosurgeon can see if there is anything that's irritating it.
Steven and Erin asked about my deep brain stimulation device. I showed them my remote and they noticed that the manufacture of my device is Medtronic. It turns out they have a friend who works for Medtronic. It's a small world!
So, if you see me out and about and I'm using my walker or cane, don't be alarmed. I'm using it for safety measures until I can get a "tune-up" and get a new battery. :)
God is so faithful and I can't help but be hopeful and excited about what's to come. So although 2020 has not been good for a lot of people and it's thrown me for a loop too, I am thankful. For in all things and in all circumstances, I can say - God's Got This!
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