I can't believe a week has gone by since my last post. Seriously, some weeks just fly by and other's drag on, don't they?! The past week was so much better than the week before.
I finally started walking better - yay! Mind you, not perfect, but better. I'm thankful for this because Friday, I got all the way to the front door at work and realized I didn't have my badge to get in. I did one of those things where I glanced back at my car wistfully as if to say, "You're so far away, is it really worth it to walk back to you?" I weighed my options. I might have almost cried. ;) But then, I knew what I had to do, so I turned around, looked my car dead in the face and started walking. I was on a mission. A mission from God. Haha. I walked to my car and didn't fall - yay, God! I looked in the passenger side, since I thought I must have put it on the seat. No badge. I walked to the driver's side and didn't fall - yay, God! I looked on the seat and didn't see it, but when I opened the car door - there it was - stuck between the seat and the door - yay, God!! Once I had it, I looked the front door to my work dead in the face and walked back in with no falls - yay, God!! It's the "little" things to others that tend to be the "big" things for me. ;)
I have to thank Tina for walking with me in the parking lot at church on Sunday morning. I was having a time of it! I get so nervous when I think people are watching me, that it makes my walking even worse. I so wanted to grab a hold of Tina and hang on for dear life, but I didn't. She walked beside me, as slow as me, until we both made it safely inside church. Thank you, Tina! And if I'm being honest, I need to thank a million other people for doing the same thing. God shows up in the form of friends, co-workers, and even complete strangers when I don't know how I'll make it from Point A to Point B. He always, always saves the day.
I sometimes wonder if God allowed me to get dystonia so that He could teach me perseverance and patience, how to be brave and how to love myself like He loves me. I am none of those.
Perseverance?! I'd rather lay down and take a nap.
Patience?! Have you been reading this blog? I am the least patient person on the face of the earth!
Brave?! Not so much. I'm scared of my own shadow sometimes!
Loving myself? Yeah, not that either. I always find flaws.
BUT - what if God is using dystonia to teach me all of this? I kind of feel like the Israelites in the Bible in Moses' time wandering through the desert. It took them 40 YEARS to see the Promised Land. I'm on year 12. Dear Lord, please help me to get the picture soon...I don't want to be wandering for another 28 years or more!!
I say that, but I KNOW God is teaching me. However slow I learn, I still know He's teaching me. He's leading me and protecting me.
My foot and toes are slowly healing from the surgery I had on them back on April 18. It's been 2 months and 2 days and my foot and toes still swell. Albeit, there have been times when they are almost back to normal as well. It's a catch 22 for me: sometimes I want to wear tennis shoes all the time because they support me better and I feel as if I walk in them better, but then there are times I don't want any shoes or socks on at all so that I can let my foot "breathe". I am still applying the topical cream at least twice a day to my foot and toes. My prayer is that there will be NO SWELLING by the time I go back to Dr. Gardner next Tuesday, the 27th.
I'm thankful for the week that has past and I'm hopeful for the week that lies ahead. In every situation, I know that God's Got This!