This past week has been a mixed bag, walking-wise. Walking hasn’t been all that stellar spectacular, but by no means has it been absolutely horrendously horrible. It’s been perfectly middle of the road.
Last Wednesday at church my friend, Carol, stopped to tell me how amazing I was walking. I found it a tad bit funny, because this was after I walked up to communion, got “into my head” and realized that people might be watching, so I didn’t walk as well as I had been walking. That’s just it – if I can get out of my head and just walk automatically, I can walk! It’s when I start thinking about it and putting too much pressure on myself that I lose balance.
Thursday, an amazing thing happened and you’re going to laugh (at least I think you will) because of what I think is “amazing”. While at work, I got up to walk to the restroom. As I was walking, I tripped over my own two feet. BUT, guess what?!?!?!?! I DIDN’T FALL! I caught myself. I was so proud. I practically ran (haha) back to my desk and exclaimed to my co-worker, Debbie, “Debbie, I tripped over my own two feet, but I didn’t fall!! I was able to catch myself.” She probably thought I was nuts! But, you don’t understand. Since having dystonia, I have never ever tripped and been able to right myself. I’ve always just fallen. Thank you, Jesus that you allowed me to have enough strength to catch myself!! Laugh all you want, but it was monumental for me and so of course I had to document it here on the blog.
The days when I get in bed at night and realize that I got everywhere I needed to get that day without falling or really even thinking about walking, are my favorites. I am so thankful that God allows the veil to be torn from my face so that I am able to recognize and SEE that he is a very, very good God.
Since having dystonia, anything that has to do with walk, run, feet, standing firm….well, I’ve tuned in to those things more. Little sayings, Bible verses, catchphrases…I’m all about them. They are reminders of God’s mercy to me. Have you ever stopped for a moment and contemplated all that God has kept you safe from in a day? I have and I can’t even start to fathom what all He’s rescued me from without my even knowing! Anyway, back to the sayings on walking and running and feet and standing firm. I saw this on Facebook and felt it was made for me:
I think this is why “Mary Did You Know” is my favorite Christmas song: “The LAME WILL LEAP….”
Since I was a child, I have always loved “HOW BEAUTIFUL (on the mountains) ARE THE FEET OF THOSE WHO BRING GOOD NEWS…”(Isaiah 52:7) As a child I think I liked it more due to the Sandi Patty song about “beautiful feet”, but hey, I loved it as a child and now I love it as an adult.
My co-worker, Sarah, just returned from maternity leave and she brought presents. Is that not backwards?! We're supposed to be getting her presents and instead she's lavishing them on us. This was my present from her:
I'm learning yoga, ya'll!! I went to another session tonight and I did so much better on some of the poses. My instructor said she could tell I was doing my homework. And, I have been doing my homework. Even when I don't necessarily want to, I do it anyway and end up loving it. I love a challenge. Although, I'm an introvert by nature, if you dare me to do something, I'll more than likely do it (within boundaries...I'm NOT going to go skydiving or hold a snake - I have my boundaries!!). Like the time a college classmate dared me to flick corn at another classmate in the cafeteria. I did, but had such horrible aim, it went flying through the air to the next table over and hit a professor. =) Oops. Or the time I tried to eat (and by eat, I mean actually swallow) 6 Saltine crackers in a minute. Yeah, I lost that dare. You try it! I digress...but hopefully you get the point...if I'm told I can't do something or something's a challenge, I'm more than likely going to do everything in my power to prove that I can do it or I can overcome the challenge. Sure, there are days when I don't want to try at all, but overall, the stubbornness inside me can be used for good - to overcome. So, back to the yoga. It's a challenge for me. Like sweaty palms challenging, but there's a fire within me to keep going until I master it. No matter how long that takes. The same goes for walking. I'm not (actually, I can't!) giving up on it.
One of my all time favorite quotes comes from the actress Ingrid Bergman. I don't really know anything about her as a person or an actress, so don't judge me on that behalf, but this quote, well it's me through and though: "I was the shyest human ever invented, but I had a lion inside me that wouldn't shut up!"
I found this saying on Facebook (Again! what can I say, Facebook came through for me this past week with witty sayings...) and I love it:
God is good, even on the days when I’m not walking as well as I would like to be. He keeps me humble. He keeps me under his wing. He keeps me close. He renews my strength. He gives me hope. Yes, the devil and all his ways surround me and sometimes get to me, but God is faithful. He never leaves. He sees me through the trying times and rejoices with me in the joy-filled moments in life that are worth so much more than silver or gold. How could life NOT be wonderful when GOD’s GOT THIS?!
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