It just happened…there was no defining moment or day...it just happened…I started walking without issue. My feet landed in the right place, they didn’t spasm, or curl up…it just happened. It’s not constant, I still have days where walking is a challenge, but I’ve had more good days then bad this past week and it's brought me so much JOY.
This past Thursday, I had a couple of meetings at work. I was walking with my co-worker, Debbie, to one of them when she said she had something to tell me when we got to the meeting. When we got to the conference room, she exclaimed, “I’ve never seen you walk better. You kept up with me and I wasn’t going slow.” To get the whole picture here, I did have some issues at one point, where I did slow down, but overall, she was right, I kept up! She said she wanted to cry she was so happy.
I’m finding that I MUST get out of my head when walking. I’ve been noticing more and more this past week, that if I walk without thinking (walking automatically, like everyone else), I walk beautifully. It’s when I’m concentrating too hard on walking or being distracted by thinking of what people may think of me, that I slip up. This was never more apparent than on Sunday. Walking into church, I was doing well, until I realized there were people behind me. For whatever reason, I always feel like I must get out of the way of other people. I get anxious and worried. I still made it into church just fine. After Sunday school, I walked down to the Family Life Center for the worship service. Since I was still a little early and felt like I could do it, I decided to walk to the mailboxes to see if I had any mail. I did fine until I got into my head and then I would hiccup. I didn't fall, I just didn't walk as well as I had. It was almost comical, because I knew what was happening. When I thought of something other than walking, I did fine. When I looked around at other people or felt like people were looking at me, that’s when I tripped up.
I really don’t mind at all when people tell me that they were watching me walk – if they tell me AFTER I’ve already walked to them or gotten to my destination. But even this – walking in front of people – has gotten better. I’m not as self-conscious as I used to be. Oh, don’t get me wrong, the fear is still there, but God and I are working on that too!
I’ve shared this before, but I’m sharing it again. I feel like Peter (in the Bible) when he walks on water. If he had his eyes on Jesus, he walked perfectly. When He took his eyes off Jesus he started to sink. This is me, ya’ll. To a T. I have never felt more like a person in the Bible then when I read about Peter. But isn’t Peter all of us to some degree? If I fix my eyes on Jesus, I’m good. The minute my eyes divert to other things, I stumble.
And now, I’m writing on Tuesday. Yesterday (Monday, MLK Day), I got my hair chopped. ON PURPOSE. I don’t know what’s gotten in to me. It is BELOW FREEZING here and I went and chopped all my hair off. I love, love, love long hair, but I just got the sudden urge to go short(er) again. I love that my hair curls even more when it's short. So, I went and saw Clare and got it chopped. For reference, I took a before and after. You’ll also see in the picture my new shirt. It was $1 at Wal-Mart. I know, I splurge big time! But I love what it says. "Perfect is Boring. Be Imperfectly You."
Speaking of being imperfectly me, that’s just what I am at yoga: imperfect. But, I’m doing it. I even did the “homework” my instructor gave me. Four days in row. I HATE homework, but I did it anyway and found that this homework is fun. It’s getting a little easier. But then again, I guess it really depends on the day. Some days I can balance beautifully, some days I’m a klutz. Oh well. Such is life.
I can’t close without mentioning the SNOW we are getting today. I don’t like snow or ice or cold weather, but I confessed to a co-worker that I was a little giddy today when it started. I also didn’t fall in it, so that makes it even better. Just like the weather, there are different seasons in life. Some are cold and icy and harsh and some are warm and inviting and lovely. I’m thankful for all the seasons both in the weather and in life!
I must praise Jesus for this last week. It’s given me even more hope that God hears and God heals. He is still working in and on me. I know there will be bad days ahead because we live in a sin-filled world, however, I also know that there will be amazing days ahead because after all, GOD’S GOT THIS!
No comments:
Post a Comment