Another week is in the books...how did that happen?! Overall, the past week has not been bad, but I’ve struggled a little more with walking than I did the week before. Thankfully, my struggles are momentary. They come and they go. They frustrate me, but there’s always something in life that’s going to frustrate us, right? I try to move past frustration as quickly as possible. Some days or moments in time I’m better at that then others, but again, such is life! Walking may have been a little bit more of a struggle this week, but I didn't fall. And there were moments that I walked absolutely beautifully. It's those moments I try to hold on to.
This morning I got up early to work out (ride my stationary bike) and do yoga. It wasn’t until I got to the yoga part that I realized how off balanced I am today. I’m not dizzy, but I have no balance, if that’s even possible. Again, I'm shrugging it off to weather. We are supposed to be getting a lot of rain tonight. But no matter the reason, God used it to grow me.
There are a couple of poses that my instructor has taught me to do to bolster my balance: the tree pose and the warrior pose. I struggled through both today. But – I did them. Not gracefully and I had to use the wall to steady myself more than I wanted to, but I still did them.
God placed on my heart 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you”. That verse, seriously, kept rolling through my head as I tried to steady myself enough to do the yoga poses. I don’t know why that verse came to mind, but for some reason, God wanted me to hear it. The full verse is:
“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
I’ve heard this verse many times, but this morning the word that really jumped out at me was “sufficient”. The dictionary.com definition of the word, “sufficient” is “adequate for the purpose; enough”. So, God gives me (and you and everyone!) adequate and enough grace (undeserved love) to get through the situation at hand. It’s JUST ENOUGH. He knows what I need and when I need it. And He knows it ALL THE TIME.
I'll admit, I was frustrated with myself this morning until I realized “it is what it is” and I must give myself grace to accept that. I have no control. Yes, I can work-out, I can strengthen my muscles, I can adjust settings in my deep brain stimulation device, I can take medication, I can eat right, I can get enough sleep, but in the end – some things I have no control over. When I love myself enough to accept the grace I’ve been given by God – that’s when things change enormously. Sometimes, I give myself grace, but more times than not, I tend to be very hard on myself. We are our own worst critics/enemies, right?! For some reason, God chose a random Tuesday in February, while trying not to fall over, to illuminate me with the knowledge that HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME. It was seriously (and literally) like letting out the biggest sigh of relief. I've known this verse my entire life, but today, I got this verse. It's amazing how God uses circumstances and all kinds of other things to lift the blinders from our eyes to reveal His Word in a new and different light and when He knows we are fully ready to understand and appreciate it.
While doing yoga this morning, not only did I have 2 Corinthians 12:9 stuck in my head, I also had the song “His Banner Over Me Is Love”. Where, why, how I got that song stuck in my head, I have no answers for, but there it was. I choose to think God wanted me to hear that too.
By the time I was “done” with yoga for the day, I decided to try the tree and warrior poses one more time and while I didn't do them as well as I’ve done them in the past, it was MUCH improved from 30 minutes before. Yay! My instructor is so very encouraging. I absolutely love working with her. Even on her "homework sheets" she's encouraging me:
On a side note, I always thought that yoga was just meditation and while that’s part of it, I’ve learned very quickly that it’s very physical. I actually break a sweat sometimes and I feel my muscles stretching. I like when I feel results (doesn’t everybody?!).
I know I've only spoken mostly of one day (today!) in this post, but it was the most fresh in my memory! Very quickly, I'll say that on Sunday I woke up and my entire left eye was swollen. I looked like a bull dog - ha! I took pictures for myself, but will refrain from posting them here. It was not a pretty site. It reminded me of what I looked like in the days after my deep brain stimulation surgery when my face "fell". That was the weirdest, coolest thing to see. My eyes and then my face swelled. I was warned it would happen, but it was still a shock! I have no idea what caused Sunday's swelling. Maybe I got bit by something. Within an hour, the swelling decreased and then by the time I got to church it decreased even more and by the time the service was over, it was barely noticeable. It only briefly scared me as I thought it might have something to do with my deep brain stimulation device, but I'm pretty sure it was an allergic reaction to something. What that something is, I haven't figured out yet!
The rest of the week was pretty uneventful, except that I did notice at times that it was harder to walk. But like I said at the beginning, such is life. I'm so very, very thankful for the great walking days and so very, very thankful that God sustains me on the days when walking is a struggle. He's with me all the time and I rest on that!
I'll close with this: God’s grace is written all over my life and I know God’s Got This!
No comments:
Post a Comment