Tune-In Tuesday: January 9, 2018

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Thanks for stopping by and reading.

The past week was a pretty good week. I am continually amazed (although I shouldn’t be!) at how God works. Keeping me (and you as well) safe and getting me through things I think are monumental at the time, but realize later were so minuscule that I shouldn’t have even bothered worrying about them in the first place. I get where I need to go, do the things that I need to do and God provides every single time.

I’m thankful that when I sit down to write these posts, that I “let go and let God” so to speak. I really have no clue when I begin a post what I might end up writing or where God leads me. He just leads me and words turn into a post. I’m also thankful that when I write, I’m able to look back at what was and realize that God was and is in everything – every little thing. Thank you, God for the ability to be thankful (and it’s not even Thanksgiving!)!!

I took my third yoga class last Tuesday and I’m not going to lie, I got frustrated. That session made me realize that I do have limitations (as everyone does). My perfectionistic, type A personality wanted me to do everything “just right”, but “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and neither was me learning yoga. ;) So, for whatever reason, I went back again tonight. Do you ever wonder why you keep doing something (good), even if it’s hard? I mean, sure, there are things I give up on, but then there are things that I keep at even though they frustrate me and/or challenge me. I like to think that that’s God giving me a nudge, even when I don’t necessarily want to do it. In last week’s session, I told my yoga instructor that I tend to be the “worrier” in my family. At first, she thought I said I tend to be the “warrior” in my family, so she ran with that. What if I changed my status from worrier to warrior? Something to chew on because it doesn’t happen overnight!

Tonight’s yoga class redeemed last week’s – haha. It was so good! I now have homework and I’m actually excited about it. As my instructor said, she can only get me so far, but I have to put in the time if I want to see results. Just like anything else in life, right? One thing I’m learning is to “get out of my head”. The more I focus on something, the more I fear it (sometimes). If ALL my focus is on walking and not falling, I tend to have more issues. If I do it (walking) naturally, without thinking about it so much, I do it!! I don’t overthink it. That’s my problem: I overthink things way too much, so if I “get out of my head” and do what comes naturally, it flows.

On Sunday, when I got to church, there wasn’t a single parking space to be had unless you went to Timbuktu. Literally – there wasn’t one space. This is an AWESOME thing for a church. Truly it is! It’s not so awesome if you’re the one stuck with no space and have to walk from Timbuktu – ha! I circled the parking lot no less than 5 times. I circled it so many times that someone came out and asked if he could park my car for me. While that was so super sweet of him, the words that came out of my mouth were “No thank you.” What?! That meant I was going to have to walk from Timbuktu. So I did. And it was challenging, but it was good. I didn’t fall. (For those that go to my church, I had to park way out past the sheds.) Only those in my Sunday school class know how late I was. ;) I was convicted on several levels about this experience though. On one hand, I worried that I had not done God’s will in letting someone help me. Maybe it would have been a blessing to the helper and a humbling experience for me. On the other hand, maybe God was telling me, “You can do this. You can walk. Trust me.” Sometimes I must do things myself to overcome the fear of what I think may happen if I do them. I told a friend once I got to Sunday school, that since I was so late, there was hardly anyone in the parking lot – which was great, I didn’t feel like anyone was watching me walk. She only brought up later, “What if you fell and there was no one there to help?”. I hadn’t even thought about that! I was happy with the opposite – a people free parking lot where I could walk at my own pace. I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” answer to my dilemma about either having someone help me or doing it myself. I feel like God used what I chose to help me. I know I can walk that far and I can do it without falling or the help of others. I also know there will be days and times when I know I can’t do it. That’s OK too. I know that there are people that are more than willing to help in any way they can and just knowing that gives me a peace of mind too. On the way back to my car, I walked with a friend who said, “I don’t want to read on your blog that you fell after I left you!”. Once we parted ways, I didn’t fall. ;)

Also at church on Sunday, I had a friend tell me that she had a dream about me the night before and I was running in a Mud Runner race. I was running in a dress and no shoes and she gave me her shoes. Haha. I love that I was RUNNING in her dream. Maybe it’s a foresight of things to come?! There are times when I do feel I could run. We shall see…

Do ever feel like you fail at life? Well, I do. I get frustrated at what is and what isn’t in my life and I tend to take that out on others. I lose my temper quickly, I’m moody and cranky. I fight and I cry and I feel horrible about myself. But then, there’s God’s grace. The older I get the more I crave His love and forgiveness. Going back again to Sunday, I told my Sunday school class that one of the best times in the service for me is when my dad or Pastor Travis announce the forgiveness of God given freely to me. I crave that moment. As a child, I didn’t understand or rarely even listened to that part of the service, but now, it’s one of the most sacred moments of the service. So, I constantly ask God to forgive my short-comings and my sins and ask Him to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. I struggle with being who God wants me to be daily. Sometimes that’s even on an hourly basis. He gives so much, yet I complain so loud. What is walking perfectly in the scheme of things? NOTHING!!! It is NOTHING!!! When I look back on my life, do I remember whether I walked perfectly? Nope! Yes, most of the times I remember if I fell, but even that is NOTHING in the span of a lifetime. So in the words of Ana and Elsa from Frozen, I just need to “let it go”. All my (mostly unfounded) worries and fears and frustrations are in the hand of an everlasting, almighty Father who knows what He’s doing. I’m preaching to myself now! In my heart and in my head, I know that GOD’S GOT THIS!