Turn-It-Down Tuesday: August 29

I got word this past week that my company is doing something amazing for me. Well, not just for me, but I can think that, right?! :)

Right now, where handicap parking is located at work, it’s not very handicap accessible. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s to code and everything, it’s just farther from the door then I think it should be and it’s slanted so that you either have problems walking to it or from it (It’s not on even, flat ground.) The idea of moving it has been brought up before. Right now, there are a great deal of visitor spots right in front of the building. These spots are also on even, level ground. About 2 weeks ago, my friend, Debbie started walking out with me to my car each night because I’ve been having more problems. One night, as I was about to pull away, I noticed she was standing there with a pensive face. I rolled my window down and asked if she was OK. She said she was, so I left. The next morning, she told me why she looked so pensive. She said that she saw how much I struggled that night getting to the car, even with her help. She also saw another co-worker with a disability struggle to his car. So, after I left, she walked the route we had just walked again trying to see things from my perspective. Then she walked the route I would take if my car were parked where the visitors parking and the expectant mother parking is located. And then she walked into work and sent an e-mail to the vice-president of facilities. Do I not have the best co-workers and friends in the world?! Just a couple of days later I was called into the director of Human Resources office. She prefaced her e-mail with “you’re not in trouble”, which greatly eased my fear that I had done something wrong and at the same time made me laugh. She said that Facilities had received an e-mail about handicap parking and they wanted to get my opinion and suggestions on things. So, I gave it to them. Last week, I was told that 2 of the 4 handicap spots would be moved to where the expectant mother’s parking is currently located and the expectant mother’s parking would be relocated a few spots down. Epic. Amazing. I am so very, very thankful to my co-worker, Debbie for e-mailing about it and for my company for listening and responding. Debbie gives no credit to herself (she says “I was probably the 10th caller”), but she deserves credit for sending that e-mail. She has elderly parents and she knows the struggles they have walking. She’s walked with me on numerous occasions and knows the problems I have. For her to go out of her way to send an e-mail about something she doesn’t even gain from – that’s true friendship and looking out for one’s brother/sister. Thank you, Debbie!

I only “fell” once this past week and I put “fell” in quotes, because it was again, more like taking a knee. It happened on Wednesday, but since then, I’ve been fall-free. However, I still decided today to go down in the electricity in my deep brain stimulation device. I have a few reasons for doing so. First and foremost, my left hand is acting up. I know it’s directly because of the electricity. Also, the callous on the bottom of my left foot is coming back and I know that’s because I’ve not been walking right. My foot does not relax. There are a few other reasons why I feel decreasing the electricity is what I’m supposed to be doing this week. I stayed on the same frequency (B) but went from 3.90 volts to 3.70.

Although I haven’t fallen, that doesn’t mean I’ve haven’t had problems, it just means I haven’t fallen (which, don’t get me wrong, is a huge deal!!). I admitted to my sister-in-law that I think having the toe/foot surgery set me back – for the time being. That last part is critical – FOR THE TIME BEING. If I had it to do all over again, I’d have the surgery. In the long run, it’s going to help me tremendously. In the short-term, God’s still working on me being patient. As He works on me, He doesn’t leave me. He shows up when and where I need it the most. I am continually amazed at how this happens. He’s using friends and family and sometimes even strangers to be His hands and then He’s allowing me to see how He works. I’ve been in awe.

I was feeling particularly anxious on Friday. I don’t know why. I wasn’t steady on my feet and I had an anxious heart. As I was getting ready to leave for work, I got a Facebook message from a church friend, Allie. I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing what she said, but this is what she wrote: “‘But for you who fear My name the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from a stall.’ (Malachi 4:2) As the sun rises today, may joy fill your heart and be your strength. Go and skip about today.” My response to her was, “Wow! God provides. I was just thinking how Satan causes me to fear and how my faith in God sometimes wavers. I was just praying that the Lord would increase my faith in Him and forgive me for my lack of faith sometimes and then you sent this! God knew I needed to hear this from Him and He used you to say it. God provides. Have a wonderfully beautiful day!”

Time after time this week, when I didn’t feel like I could walk without falling, God’s provided a friend to walk along beside me. I’ve been praying every morning that God would keep me upright both physically and spiritually. He’s kept His promise, even when I haven’t kept mine.

I get frustrated, mad, sad, angry, anxious, depressed but even in those times, I come to the realization that I am extremely blessed. God never leaves me or forsakes me. God provides. God goes before me. He stands beside me. He’s got my back. God uses the struggles we have in life to refine us. I’m being refined. When struggles abound, my prayers increase. I'm in constant contact with the Lord of Lords. God uses the struggles in my life to give me perspective and to make me stronger. God can heal with one touch. In one breath He can make it be. He can also say, "Wait my child - you're a miracle in the making." God’s Got This!