Tune-In Tuesday: August 1

This past week has seen more GOOD days then bad and for that, I’m eternally grateful!!

I was talking with a high-up executive at work yesterday (who knows about my walking issues) and he said, “I saw you walking in the other day!” I immediately thought, “Oh my gosh, was it a good walking day or not?!” He could have seen me walk well or he could have seen me fall in the flowers – haha! He didn’t go any further and I didn’t press him. I really, really, really hope he saw me on a good day though!

I am happy to report that I haven’t had any more falls or embarrassing situations this past week, so that’s a win! God’s kept me upright and (somewhat!) stable. Like I’ve said in an earlier post, I try to rationalize everything in regards to how I’m walking. Like, “Oh, I must be walking bad today because of the weather.” BUT – I’m learning that the more I try to rationalize, the more I drive myself crazy. It is what it is! This past week’s stab at rationalization was that there is a very, very, very fine line between when I’ve over-done walking and when I haven’t done enough. Saturday, I felt wonderful, so I ran errands. Saturday night, I realized that maybe I’d over-compensated and I was spent! This also meant that I had trouble walking on Sunday, but not all the time. What got me the most on Sunday was the church parking lot. I’m like a deer in the headlights. It’s this vast parking lot with nothing to grab ahold of if I feel myself falling and I tense up. Thankfully, I have wonderful church friends who lend hands when need be, or just walk with me if all I need is moral support. However, when I’m inside church, I walk well on the carpet and so-so on the gym floor. Go figure!

I had to make a decision this week on which neurologist I would see exclusively. The reason? Well, it turns out that my Knoxville neurologist and my Nashville-now-turned-Knoxville neurologist have ended up at the same neurology practice here in Knoxville.

A little background in case you’re new around here: A few years ago I had to find another neurologist as mine was moving out of state. Thanks to a friend and fellow church member, I started seeing Dr. LeForce. He’s the one that suggested deep brain stimulation. At the time, his practice referred deep brain stimulation patients to Vanderbilt. So, Dr. LeForce referred me and I met Dr. Tolleson. While going through all the DBS appointments and the like, I saw Dr. Tolleson in Nashville and Dr. LeForce here in Knoxville. Dr. Tolleson controlled all my adjustments to the DBS and was in on the DBS surgery. Dr. LeForce prescribed all my medication. Fast forward to January 31 of this year. I was at a follow-up appointment with Dr. Tolleson in Nashville. At the end of the appointment, he said, “I’m not going to be able to be your neurologist anymore.” I was absolutely crushed as I’d grown to really like and trust him. Seriously, I wanted to cry. But in the next breath he said, “I’m moving to Knoxville.” I didn’t know if I had heard him correctly, “Did you say, Knoxville? As in Tennessee?” “Yes”, he responded. And then I burst out, “I live in Knoxville!!”. He had forgotten that I traveled to see him. He turned to his resident and said, “Well, that’s not the reaction we’ve been getting when we tell people this news!” He said I was free to follow him to Knoxville. Yay! A couple of months later (I think in April), I got a letter in the mail from Dr. LeForce. He said that after much consideration he was leaving the practice he was at and joining a neurological practice at the University of Tennessee. He said that I was more than welcome to follow him there or find a new neurologist. I, of course, was going to follow him. Now fast forward to about a month ago. I realized that I was almost about to run out of medicine. I called Dr. LeForce’s old office and left a message because I didn’t know the phone number to his new office. I got a call back and they gave me the new number. I put it in my phone for safe keeping. Then, when I started falling a few weeks back, I called the University of Tennessee Medical Center to get Dr. Tolleson’s new number. When they gave it to me, I dialed it and Dr. LeForce’s name came up in my phone. Needless to say, both neurologists work in the same practice now. I got in to see Dr. Tolleson on July 20 and while there, completely forgot to ask about whom I should be seeing. I only remembered this week, when I saw that I had an appointment with Dr. LeForce on August 3. So on Sunday, I brought up my dilemma to my family. They helped me hash it out. My ER doctor brother said he would go with Tolleson, since he’s the one who adjusts my deep brain stimulation device. Then it warmed my heart because he said that Tolleson is strictly focused on movement disorders whereas LeForce is general neurology. I asked him how he knew that and he said that he was talking to a neurology drug rep and asked the rep if he knew a new-to-town neurologist by the name of Tolleson. The drug rep said yes, but he didn’t deal with him because Tolleson is specifically focused on movement disorders and the drugs he was selling didn’t fit under that category. It warmed my heart to hear this because my brother had no other reason to ask about Tolleson other than me. ;) Anyway, after we all talked, I felt better. I called the neurology practice on Monday and had to leave a message explaining my situation. When the scheduler called me back, she said, “I see that you have an appointment with Dr. Tolleson in October, but I don’t see any appointment made with LeForce for August 3.” That’s when I told her that the appointment was made before he switched practices. She then said that all of those appointments had been wiped out when he moved practices (I should of known that!). She said that she talked with both doctors (or their nurses) and they were both fine if I wanted to see Dr. Tolleson exclusively (I had stated that in my message). So, Dr. Tolleson it is. Whew! That was a hard decision to make. I really do like both doctors, but it makes no sense to see them both.

So, that’s what went on this past week. I am so, so thankful that my walking has been better. I didn’t mess with the electricity this week since I seem to be in a good spot. It’s not 100 percent, mind you, and there have been times when I’ve needed help, but overall, it’s been pretty sweet.

Sometimes, it still strikes me that I’m walking with my own two feet without a walker or cane. It’s in those moments that I stop and thank the Lord for His goodness. And when there are days that I can hardly walk, well I stop and thank Him that I made it from point A to point B and I remember the times I have been able to walk. It’s definitely a journey. Some days I’m in the valley and other days I’m on the mountaintop. But I always remember that God’s Got This!!