Another week has passed and it’s now September. How did that happen?! My parents used to tell us kids when we were little that when we grew up we’d know what they meant when they said time flies by and they were right!
This past week has been good, but I didn’t come to that conclusion until tonight while writing this post. :) It definitely saw its share of tears and bruised knees, frustrations and impatient moments, but sitting here tonight writing this post, I’m more in awe of God’s miraculous ways than anything else. In several incidences this past week, God performed miracles and I’m in awe of them.
On Wednesday, my church held a screening of the movie, “A Case for Christ.” If you haven’t seen it or read the book, you must! I haven’t read the book yet, but the movie made me want to. It was so good! It was entertaining, but it really made me think too.
Thursday, I had a “Peter walking on water” moment.
(On a side note – outside of Jesus, Peter is my favorite person in the Bible. I relate SO MUCH to him. He was impulsive and impatient. He was always putting his foot in his mouth. He rarely thought before he spoke. He was bold, but then sheepish. He wanted to always be right at Jesus’ side. I love the story of him walking on water because I see myself doing exactly what He did. So, yes, outside of Jesus, Peter is definitely my favorite person in the Bible!)
Now back to my Peter moment. On Thursday, I was walking into work and my left foot and toes were curled into a ball. No amount of anything I did could get them to uncurl. Needless to say, I was having a tough time. So, I prayed, “Lord, make my foot and toes lay flat.” And guess what?! The very SECOND I prayed that, THEY DID!!! Shamefully, I must admit that I was stunned. I know God performs miracles, but I was still stunned. They literally laid flat and relaxed. I was praising Jesus. But then, I got distracted, took my eyes off of Jesus, got scared and promptly fell. BUT, just as quickly as I fell, I popped back up again. I wasn’t physically injured, although I was a little embarrassed as someone did see me fall. They came over to assist, but I was up before they got to me. Then I had to laugh, because the Peter walking on water story was the first thing that popped into my head. I just need to keep my eyes on Jesus.
I had a doctor’s appointment on Thursday afternoon. It had been raining off and on all day long – sometimes torrentially. I prayed that anytime I had to be outside, that it wouldn’t rain. I was having a really, really hard time walking and rain would just make walking all that more difficult. You know what? God answered. It didn’t rain at all when I had to walk to and from my car at work or at my appointment. In fact, no sooner had I gotten back inside work then one of those torrential downpours happened!
My doctor’s appointment was nothing neurological related, but it seems that a lot of my doctors are moving buildings. ;) I knew that my appointment was in the same building/area where I see my neurologist. As I was walking in, I was a little confused as where to go, since this was the first time I was seeing this doctor at her new location. Trying to distract myself enough to walk as normally as possible, I was looking down at my phone, when I heard this voice say, “Are you lost?” At that moment, I looked up and there was the door to the office I was supposed to go into, so I said, “Actually, no…there’s where I’m supposed to go.” Then I turned to look at who I was talking to and did a double take because it was my (Knoxville) neurologist, Dr. LeForce. After we said hi to each other, I asked what he was doing and he said that he was taking a little walk at lunch, to which I said that I’d be doing that some day. We talked a little while longer and then I made my way to my other appointment.
Friday afternoon, I fell again – this time on carpet. It was just one of those things. I didn’t get hurt, but I have a nice bruise now. I was so frustrated because my foot and toes would not lay flat.
By Saturday I was so fed up with my horrible walking that I decided I couldn’t wait any longer to change the electricity in my deep brain stimulation device. I got it out and kept lowering the electricity until I could see and feel a difference. That meant that I went to the lowest setting on Frequency B – 2.90 volts. Since turning the electricity down, my hand is almost back to normal and my foot and toes lay flat on the floor. But, it's not perfect (far from it!). In fact, it’s a catch 22 (I hope I’m using that term correctly!). I noticed that on the higher level of electricity that my hand majorly acts up and my foot and toes curl under. All of that is hugely annoying, but I still somehow feel like I have more “control” over my movements, even if that means walking stiff-legged. I realize just typing that sentence out that none of that makes sense. ;) On the lower level, my hand is normal and my foot and toes lay flat on the floor, but I get these spasms in my leg and/or foot and they make me fall or at the very least lose my balance. I don't get them on the higher level (maybe that's because everything is in one big spasm?!). On the lower level I feel more balanced and stable except for when the spasms happen. I can’t predict when they will happen either as they are random. It doesn’t happen every time I walk. I need to get over the fear of the spasms and walk freely, but sometimes that’s easier said than done. So…I’m taking it day by day. I’m hopeful that I can stay at this level for an extended period, but I’m not ruling anything out. It seems one fall is all it takes for me to start questioning if I’m on the right level after all.
I have seen so many instances of God’s hand of protection over me this past week. I have also seen so many miracles. And, yes, I do call them miracles. Whether they be “small” things like making it not rain so that I can get into and out of appointments without having to deal with rain or umbrellas to the “big” things like making my foot and toes lay flat…to God they are all the same. He is teaching me so much. There aren’t enough words in the human language to describe all He is doing in my life. Don’t get me wrong – I definitely, 100% have days when all I want to do is cry my eyes out, but then He gives me glimpses of what He’s doing in my life and it’s amazing ya’ll. The devil tries to weasel his way into my life and my thoughts and my heart and sometimes, I must admit, he gets in and starts destroying things, but God is always there to pluck me from Satan’s grip and remind me that yesterday, today and for forever more – God’s Got This!!
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