Thursday, I was bragging a little on how my cane was “getting in the way”. I felt like I could leave it behind and just walk at certain times. However, lest I get too boastful or proud, God only allowed a taste of what’s to come. By Friday, I was unsteady on my feet again. The good walking only lasted a day, but it was “just enough” to revive hope.
I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how God puts people in the right place at the right time. I can’t get over how He continues to protect me and love me, even when I don’t deserve it. Like I mentioned above, I was feeling a little unsteady on my feet on Friday. I said as much to my co-workers (hence the conversation about whether it was as bad as before the surgery). One of my co-workers left for the day before I did – or so I thought. I had just exited the building when I heard the door behind me open again. My first thought was, “Oh great, now I’m going to have to walk in front of someone.” But it was Sarah!! She asked if I needed help and at the same time said she wasn’t watching me walk. Haha – she knows me!! Well, two things happened. One – something flew into my eye (even though I had sunglasses on) and I couldn’t NOT stop and try to get it out. It was so bad that it actually distracted me enough that I quit thinking solely about walking. It took FOREVER to get out of my eye, but did eventually come out. The other thing that happened was Sarah started walking with me (her car was in the opposite direction of where my car was parked) and we started talking about anything BUT walking and in so doing I walked all the way to my car without falling. I don’t know if Sarah planned this whole thing or not. She really did leave before me, but somehow ended up exiting the building AFTER me. I’m just going to say it was “God thing” and leave it at that. I couldn’t be more grateful or thankful for her. She was the “just enough” distraction to get me to walk on my own and was and is a huge blessing in my life.
Saturday night, I went to “Boo at the Zoo” with my nieces. Little G and Baby H have been hands down one of the greatest blessings in my life. I love those girls with all my heart. I can’t get enough of them. I thought I could do the zoo with just a cane. Well, first – I haven’t been to the Knoxville Zoo since I was a teenager and 2nd I still was not on my “A” game walking wise, so I was eternally grateful that Baby H came with her stroller. The zoo is surprisingly very hilly and not laid out all that great (in my opinion). It turns out, I don’t think I would have been able to do it without any help. So, I was ecstatic to push her stroller as I used it like a walker. Hope’s momma held her the whole time, so people would peek into the stroller expecting to see a baby and I’d have to tell them, “Oh, the baby’s up there!” I’m so humbled that even in that situation, God provided. I didn’t fall, I didn’t trip. I didn’t slip. Technically, I still haven’t used the walker in weeks, but I did kind of cheat on Saturday with the stroller. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do in situations like that.
Sunday, I was ever so grateful again for people placed in strategic places to help me (knowingly or not!). I love how God does that. One church member came out to meet me in the parking lot as I arrived and asked if I needed help. He said he saw that the wind got to me. Haha, this was a true statement. Not that I’m so light the wind will just carry me away, but sometimes it does make it very hard to walk!! I had a few near misses (I almost fell into someone!) but I made it into church without falling. My friend, Whitney was there to help when I felt like I was losing my balance. And then on the way back to my car after church, Sam and Kristen (whether they knew it or not!) helped me be distracted “just enough” to keep me walking “by myself” all the way to my car without falling. I did chicken out a little and decide NOT to go to the grocery store on Sunday night because I didn’t feel steady enough, but sometimes I have to realize it is what is and even if I have a “bad” day, it’s only a day (or a minute, or an hour…) and move on. At the end of the day, I can say God protected me and allowed me not to fall.
My mom truly has a servant’s heart. I casually told her that I wasn’t going to the grocery store and she offered to get my groceries for me. She didn’t have to do that. I would have found a way or just waited until I felt better, but I’m so thankful for her and her willingness to do it for me. There was a time at the very beginning of this journey that she was grocery shopping for me every single week. That’s something I’ll always remember and always be thankful for. She literally will do anything for anyone. She brought the groceries over last night. I still wasn’t feeling right, but yesterday ended with NO falls.
This morning I had a dentist appointment. The ladies in the office said I looked “glowing”. I love that. I want to glow. I hope it eventually shines through - even on bad days. I still get highly frustrated and annoyed, but underneath all of that there is truly pure joy. My goal is to let that be known to all I come in contact with. I have joy in my heart and hopefully a glow to my demeanor. God has given me a huge gift. I am so blessed to have had this surgery. I can’t stress that enough. You’re probably thinking, “Surgery, a gift?!?!”, but yes, I do consider it a gift. I know it’s not for everyone and by no means is it perfect, but compared to a year ago – wow, I’m just in awe of how the Lord works. I am incredibly grateful.
God’s Got This. He always has and He always will. That’s what I’m resting on this week. He doesn’t promise us easy, but He promises He’ll be with us every step of the way. Believe me when I tell you, I KNOW He’s with me every painfully slow, agonizingly scary, gloriously triumphant step of the way!!
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