Tune-In-Tuesday: A Wild Ride

I was all prepared to start this post with the fact that this past week, I struggled again with walking. That’s a true statement. I struggled. But then, Saturday, I started to turn the corner. I don’t know how long it will last or why it’s happening now, but I’m savoring every moment of it.

I was beginning to doubt my decision to remain on the same frequency and level of electricity that I’ve been on for awhile now. I fell again. It was at work and thankfully the only one who saw me was one of my work besties.

Here’s the aftermath of 4 falls (I think), in 4 weeks:

And while I’m showing embarrassing pictures of myself, I thought I’d go ahead and share these. I had the thought again this week that I’ve never had anything taken OUT of my body (you know, tonsils, appendix, anything like that), but I’ve had plenty put in. Thankfully these deep brain stimulation “wires” somewhat look like they belong, but here’s the actual “wires”:

And here are the veins I was born with. 😊

I had yoga on Friday night and my instructor asked what I was in the mood for. I told her hard. I wanted to do hard – to push myself. Hard she gave me! Some of it I didn’t think I’d make it through, but I did, and it felt amazing. I can do hard.

I had yoga again tonight. We did hard again, but my legs were like jelly afterwards. I struggled walking to the car, but I made it and that’s all that matters!

Some of you know what’s been going on with me professionally, but most of you don’t. I feel like I can finally divulge what’s been transpiring over the past few months. On January 24, I was informed that my job was being eliminated. It came as a shock, yet not a shock. Eighteen months earlier my company had been bought. I knew this was a possibility (losing my job), but it wasn’t reality until January 24. I was given a July 1 end date. That was a HUGE blessing, because I had time to look for another job while I still had a job.

Since January 24, I’ve been living with the stress of knowing that my time in my current position is dwindling, but also needing to do my very best in the position while looking for a new position and/or job and/or career. Those that know me in “real life” (not just through “blog life”) know how much I LOVE my job. When I was 13 years old my family moved to Knoxville, Tennessee. One day I was riding in the car with my Mom and I looked over and saw TV satellites. I told my mom that I was going to work there one day. She laughed and told me I didn’t even know what that was. I told her I didn’t care, I knew it had something to do with TV and I was going to work in TV. Flash-forward 11 years and God answered my prayer. I’ve been at my job ever since. Hearing I was losing it was devastating, but I had/have complete trust that God knows what He’s doing and as I always say, He’s Got This!

The last week of February, I interviewed for 3 positions in 3 different departments at my current company and on March 1, I verbally committed to one. It wasn’t “in writing” and official until March 11, but even then, I kept it under wraps, lest anything should happen. But yesterday, April 15 was my first day in my new position and I LOVED IT. I love the group I’m in and what I’m doing. My mom and dad once told me after I graduated college that I “would never be able to find a job where (I) watch TV all day.” It’s taken me awhile, but I’m proving them wrong – haha!!

As I was cleaning out my desk at work (in preparation to move to a different cube), I found the manual to my DBS device. I don’t remember when I brought it to work, but I must have because there it was. I noticed something on it that I had never noticed before. It says, “RX only”. I burst out laughing and said to a co-worker, “Well, DUH! You must have brain surgery to get this device." It's not just something you can buy at the store. It made me smile.

All the “what-if’s” and the stresses of losing my job took a toll on my walking. But, I knew what was going on, hence, I didn’t want to make any drastic changes to the flow of electricity in my deep brain stimulator. If I could weather the storm awhile, walking would return to “normal” (normal for me at least. 😊). It’s slowly returning. It’s not returning as fast as I’d like, but it’s getting there.

This was a rather long post, so thank you for hanging in and reading until the end. May everyone reading have a wonderful Holy Week and a blessed and joyous Easter. Always remember…God’s Got This!