I saw the above statement on Facebook today and it struck me as SO TRUE and so relevant for my life!
Whew!! I always feel so much better AFTER a doctor's appointment. I tend to worry about everything. I know this wrong, but I'm just being honest. When it comes to doctor's appointments, I'm always afraid I haven't done something "right" or that I haven't given my all to get better. So, I worry. There's a reason I put, "God's Got This" in every blog post - it's to remind MYSELF that He does have everything. Just like in most things in my life, I need not have worried about ANYTHING that I was worried about regarding today's neurology appointment. God is good! This isn't "the end of the road".
I got to the appointment and didn't trip, slip or fall getting in. :) As I was waiting in the exam room, I noticed that there was this pee jar (OK, specimen jar) on the table. I found it amusing, so I had to know what it was. I looked at it and it had DBS with some other letters written on the top. It was full. Pee? Water? Inquiring minds want to know!! I'll get back to this later.
Dr. Tolleson was awesome as usual. I am so very, very, very thankful that God led me to him. Looking back, to see how God orchestrated every move in getting me to Dr. T. is truly amazing. I am blessed!
Anyway, he walked in and asked: good, bad, OK? I chose OK. He TOTALLY gets that I'm frustrated. But it's not all bad. I mean, seriously two years ago, I couldn't walk without a walker, much less a cane and today I'm walking without either. I see God's hand in all of this. I really, really do - even in the hard times!
Dr. Tolleson wasn't mad or disappointed that I didn't change the settings in my DBS device. I told him that it took about a month and half after I saw him at the beginning of November and it was gradual, but all of the sudden I started walking really well. And then 2-3 weeks ago, I started not walking as great. I told him by that time, I thought it too late to make any drastic changes since I was coming to see him. He mentioned that the brain can get used to the setting it's on. He checked all my settings and said they all looked good. I always feel like I'm going in for a tune-up. Haha. I guess that's what it is really. I get hooked up to a BIG remote and Dr. Tolleson fiddles with all the settings on it. It doesn't hurt, but there is some "pulling". It kind of aches at the site of the battery. He warned me that I may feel a shock. Thankfully, I didn't/don't. I only (and every time in the past as well) just feel achy and some pulling. He mentioned that my internal battery (the one that's implanted in me under my collar bone) is starting to get a little low, but nothing to be concerned about yet. When the time comes, it'll be minor surgery to replace it. The battery typically lasts about 5 years.
He had me walk, which ya'll know is my absolute FAVORITE part of the appointment. For those that are new to this blog, that last sentence was said with major sarcasm, as it's actually the worst part of the appointment for me. Coming in a second close as the worst part would be getting weighed - I don't like that part either! Anyway, I walked for him and he noticed that I'm still walking on the outside of my foot. I walked down the hall for him and back again. When I got to him, I asked if he wanted me to keep walking and he said I didn't have to - yay! He got all he needed. He said that the foot surgery I had last year did set me back. He didn't say I shouldn't have had it (in fact he said it was necessary when I had called him to ask if I should have it in the first place). It was just a little setback. So, I'm back on track now.
I spoke with him about a few issues that I had been having. I wasn't sure if they were related to the DBS or the electricity. He calmed and eased my worries about each issue.
He commended me on figuring out by myself that the batteries needed to be replaced in my DBS remote. He said he gets the most calls about there being something wrong with a patient's remote and the only thing wrong with it is that it needs the battery changed!
I told Dr. Tolleson that I only fell once since last seeing him and he was happy about that. I also told him that I wish he could see when I walk really well. To that he said, if I needed him, to call and he would get me in to see him. I told him that I didn't need to see him necessarily, but I would like it if he could see me walking well. :) One of these days, he will and when that day happens, it'll be monumental!
Here's the plan we came up with. I'm in Group A right now and he left me there, but increased the electricity that I'm getting in that group. I was at 3.00 volts and now I'm at 3.20. He wants me to give it about a month. If I'm not happy or pleased with it, I can increase the electricity one or two notches. If I'm still not seeing results, I can change to Group D. Group D will allow me to oscillate between settings. This is where he brought up the fact that the brain can get used to the setting it's on/with the electricity it's being given and the electricity just stops being effective. That's why oscillating the electricity can help. And after trying that, if I'm still not seeing results, he told me to call him. ;) I'm seeing him again in four months which will be July.
I couldn't let Dr. Tolleson go without asking him about the pee (specimen) jar. He started with, "It's not mine!" which made me laugh. Then he explained that it helps to show tremors. If a patient holds it in his/her hand, a tremor can be seen. And it was filled with water, not pee. ;) So, my inquiring mind was satisfied.
Again, God answered all my prayers. There are more options. There's HOPE. I can still improve from where I am now. I told Dr. Tolleson that I remembered telling him before the surgery that if I could walk with just a cane, I'd be over the moon happy. He smiled and looked at me and said, "we always want more, don't we?' I laughed. Yes, I always want more. He knows I get frustrated. He knows that I think I should be farther along then I am. But, he takes it in stride and he's always encouraging. I had to laugh though as he somewhat tripped getting up to leave. I told him he wasn't allowed to trip, that's my job. ;)
Today was good. God DOES have this! I keep wanting to snatch the reigns out of His hands sometimes, but He holds firmly to them and doesn't allow me to get in my own way, for which I am so thankful. Thank you for all the prayers and for all the encouragement.
Since I've written two blog posts this week, I'm going to skip my normal Tuesday update next week (because really, who wants to hear from me that much?!), but will be back again the following week. Thank you again for reading, for encouraging, for praying and for all your love! Have a blessed day and week and always remember, God's Got This!
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