It's been over a week since I "played" with the electricity in my deep brain stimulation device and there have been times that I've wanted to "play" more, but I didn't. It hasn't been two weeks yet. :) So, I'm patiently (or maybe not-so-patiently) waiting until next week to adjust anything (if that's what I choose to do). I've fallen twice since switching it up. The first time was this past Monday night. I was SO tired and just tripped over my own two feet and the rug and fell. I fell on carpet so there was no harm, no fowl. The second time I fell was last night. That fall was kind of ironic. For awhile now, my dad has suggested that I use my cane in places where I feel I might fall (parking lots for instance). I have been a staunch "no-I'm going to use my own two feet" supporter. I can be stubborn like that. But, this past week, I changed my mind. I can't pinpoint the exact moment and there was no big event, but a light bulb switched on in head and I didn't resist that thought anymore. Maybe, I'm growing up. :) Maybe I'm just getting more comfortable in my skin. Or maybe my re-watching of "House M.D." is rubbing off on me. I mean, Hugh Laurie did make walking with a cane sexy - haha!
Last night as I arrived at church for an Advent service, I decided I would use the cane. Why it took me SO LONG to accept help by using the cane, I'll never know, but it was AWESOME! I never thought that I would use that word with regard to using a cane, but here I am. I was able to walk in the parking lot!!!! I was overjoyed. I think I was a little too overjoyed - possibly even cocky, coming out of church. I was "this-close" to my car and I fell. I was so sure of myself that I got "sloppy" walking and wasn't paying attention and I fell. Again, no harm, no fowl except maybe my ego. ;) Now, do you see why I said this fall was ironic? Using the cane was supposed to help me from falling and I fell anyway. I do truly believe the reason I fell was I got too relaxed and let my guard down too much.
I don't want to become dependent on the cane, so I'll only use it when I really feel like I have to. It's a prop to help me walk just as much as the medication I take is. So, if you see me with a cane, don't be alarmed. It's just helping me along in this journey. Some days are great and some days I need a little extra help.
Thanks for reading this entry and always remember - God's Got This!
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