An Update

I know, I know, I know. For those of you that read last week’s post, I hinted at not updating this blog weekly anymore unless something significant happened. I heard from several of you that you enjoyed reading the blog – thank you! I WAS NOT going to write this week, but God had other plans I guess. I found the above quote online and it made me laugh, so I thought I'd share it.

This past week, I’ve been dealing with lots and lots of problems walking. It’s been worse than usual, but NOTHING regarding the amount of brain stimulation (electricity) I’m giving myself or the frequency I’m on - none of it has changed! I laugh at the fact that in last week’s post, I said things were stable, because since writing that I have NOT been stable on my feet at all.

It hasn’t just been walking that I’ve struggled with. My shoulder has been giving me problems. I think this is about exercise – haha. But seriously, I do. I had been doing push-ups. Modified push-ups, but push-ups nonetheless. So, I curtailed those last week. At one point, my ever-vivid imagination thought, “Could I be having a heart attack?”. My collar bone, shoulder, arm and jaw ached. But again, I think it had to do with exercise, plus the DBS device (which is located there) and stress. I didn’t die, so that’s good! 😉 Nothing aches anymore. I did start the push-ups back up this week, but I am only doing three. I know, that’s pitiful, but it’s something!

I had yoga on Friday night and for that hour to an hour and a half I felt strong, when I hadn’t felt strong all week. I went right back to having issues after it, but it was a huge respite.

I fell on Sunday. I didn’t injure myself. In fact, I was walking with a friend when it happened. Oh well. Such is life. I told my friend that it was kind of freeing to fall and know that I can survive. 😉 I mean, I didn’t injure myself and all you can do is just get right back up and carry on, right? I wasn’t even that embarrassed. And in the scheme of things, embarrassment only lasts a moment. Sometimes I need to be reminded that falling isn’t that bad. If that’s the worse that happens, then I’m doing alright.

I must give a little shout-out to my friend Whitney (the one whom I was walking with on Sunday). The past two Sunday’s she’s been my answer to prayer – my specific answer to prayer. This past Sunday, I was sitting in my car in the parking lot at church. I was so far away from the entrance at church that I sat in my car debating on whether to wait a few minutes to see if someone exited from one of the closer spots. As I waited, I saw through my rear-view mirror that Whitney was walking up to my car. I mean seriously, can I have better friends? I think not. Instead of pretending not to see me or just going on her merry way, she came and walked with me. Thank you, Whitney. I see God in you.

Yesterday, walking was no better. I struggled. But God answered prayers. I’ll divulge that I prayed that no one would walk out of work while I did. I know that is such a super weird prayer, but sometimes it’s more of an effort to walk when someone is there then it is by myself. Anyway, from the time I left the building to the time I got to my car (which was a little longer than the normal person would take to get to their car because I was super, super slow), no one walked out of or in to the building. This was super surprising on one hand, because I left right on time, so usually there’s a few people! But, on the other hand it shouldn’t be surprising at all because God did it.

Today as I was QC’ing episodes at work, I was reminded once again, how blessed I am. When I bought my house 14 years ago, I had not yet started to have problems (that would come just a few short months later), BUT, I bought a house with NO stairs. How’s that for God looking out for you? I love my little home and thank the Lord for it.

I was all over the map in this post. I hope you enjoyed reading it. It’s my life. Sometimes I have a hard time articulating what I’m really feeling, but hopefully you got a sense of what it’s like when walking doesn’t come so naturally.

I do know that I am extremely blessed by God. So, I have some problems walking. Some people don’t have legs to stand on. So, with each step I take I’ll remember how blessed I am and that truly, God’s Got This!