Tune-In-Tuesday: October 30, 2018

Whew, what a week! But, God is faithful. It’s been one of those of weeks where I wonder what happened. I mean, I’m going along, living my life and then out of nowhere, my walking goes haywire. Where did that come from? I didn’t do a single thing different from day A to day B, but there I am unable to walk like I have been. I get SO frustrated. I wrack my brain trying to think what I could have done to go from "great" to "barely able", but then I realize that some things just are. Sometimes "you just have to yell, 'Plot Twist!' and move on."

I did check all the medical things to make sure they were working and they are. My DBS system didn't turn itself off. The battery didn't die. Everything was and is working perfectly, except my walking. ;)

A friend shared this on Facebook and it made me laugh:

By Sunday night, I had had enough. I started to think my brain had become complacent and that maybe it needed a little kick start. I decided to adjust the electricity in my deep brain stimulation device. Surprising even myself, I didn't go up on the electricity. I actually went down. There were some signs to me that made me think that I had too much electricity, so I did what I didn't think I was going to do and I turned it down. Only .10 volts, but still down. I did it at the end of the day in hopes that my body would adjust to it while I slept. I went from Group A at 2.90 volts to Group A at 2.80.

I'm not going to lie, yesterday was rough. I could not get my balance and felt that with every step, I was going to fall. But, I didn't. It took every ounce of will-power within me to NOT adjust it again. I can't tell you why I didn't adjust it, except I really did feel deep down inside that I was supposed to leave it. So I did. With every step, I felt like I was going to fall. Every single step felt like that, but guess what? God kept me from falling. I was bound and determined that when I got home I was going to adjust the electricity, but I stopped short. What?! WHY?! Be patient. Be still. Trust that God has a plan. Trust that all of this isn't for nothing.

When I woke this morning, I debated, but in the end decided to wait and watch again. Why?! This is NOT FUN. Why don't I just play with the settings again? Walking was better today - so much better, until tonight when I had more issues. But, I really feel deep in my heart that I'm supposed to wait. That I'm not to act so quickly. I'm waiting. I'm trying to be patient. God's kept me from falling and I've gotten to and from every place I've needed to go. It's embarrassing to not be able to walk correctly, but God's helping me with that too. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right?! I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I do. I guess God's teaching me humility and how to be brave and how to surrender it all and TRUST HIM.

I saw this on Facebook somewhere and instantly fell in love with it. Partially, I'll admit, because of #1 which is my motto, but the more I read, the more I fell in love because every part of it is true. It's talking about spiritual battles, but the same can be said for physical battles:

I know that in all things, God is for me and not against me. He's using my weaknesses to make me strong. Above all else, I know, God's Got This!