This past week has been pretty good. I didn't fall - yay! Sometimes it's the "simple" things in life that I am most thankful for! I didn't have the best walking day yesterday, but I didn't fall and I didn't by any means have the worst day walking, so score one for me!!
I'm trying desperately to pay attention to exactly how I walk and what motions I go through (or don't go through) so that when I meet with the neurologist again, I can tell him exactly what's going on. For instance: I notice that I can not turn on a dime. If I'm walking out of the office and I hear the door open behind me, signaling someone else is coming out of the building, I can't turn around to see who it is without some trouble. I lose my balance and my concentration and my foot curls in. I know that I don't bend my (left) knee when walking unless I'm super comfortable that I'll be able to lay my foot flat on the floor and that anything below my knee won't spasm. I am extremely, extremely rigid when walking. It doesn't come natural. BUT - I'm still doing it WITHOUT a cane or walker. It would probably be way easier to use the assistive devices, but I haven't come this far to give in now. ;) I thank the good Lord above that He keeps me safe. I didn't change anything electricity wise in my device this week.
I got a haircut this past Friday by my favorite stylist at the haircut place, Clare. It's not a huge difference, but as Clare stated we "staved off the mullet for another 6 weeks or so!" That we did!! Hopefully by Christmas it'll be in that sweet spot - not too "you just got a haircut" new, but also not too "split-ends are everywhere" old.
This is right after I got it cut. so it's not styled or anything, but it gives you an idea:
Sunday, ya'll. Sunday fed my soul. God spoke volumes to me through my Sunday school discussions as well as the message in church (and it wasn't even my Dad preaching!!). In Sunday School we are going through Paul's journeys in the books of I and II Corinthians. During Sunday's lesson we studied II Corinthians 12. This is the chapter where Paul talks about his "thorn in my flesh" (verse 7). We discussed that we all thought it was so cool that the Bible does not reveal what Paul's "thorn in the flesh" was. What's cool about that is that anyone who reads II Corinthians can apply it to themselves. Whatever their "thorn in the flesh" is doesn't matter because WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING to deal with in life. My brother, Stanton, had even more of a spin on it that I really, really like: Paul's "thorn in the flesh" was so inconsequential that no one thought to put it down (as to what it was) in words in the Bible. Whatever it was, he declared it and then it was brought up no more. The people Paul preached to didn't even see his "thorn in the flesh" anymore once they really knew who Paul was. I was blessed beyond measure with that Sunday school lesson and discussion. Then, the message that Pastor Travis gave during church was another huge blessing from the Lord. It was titled: "False Steps: Burying Your Talent" and was on the "Parable of the Talents" (Matthew 25:14-30). Again, I was given a gift by the Lord. Something Pastor Travis said in his message struck me to my core and it got me thinking. I had all these plans and thoughts for my life. I wanted to be married with 5 kids before I turned 30. I wanted to move to Hollywood and be a script writer. I wanted so much and then at the age of 25 I started tripping and stumbling and for the next 10 years I was put on a journey I never wanted to be on in the first place. I'm 37 now and am not married. I don't 5 kids. I never moved to Hollywood. BUT - that doesn't mean God forsook me or that I haven't had a beautiful life thus far. It's meant that God has used me in ways I may never know to hopefully help someone else along their journey. It's meant that I've become braver. It's meant that I was able to pay off $20,000 in student debt in two years. It's meant that I was able to buy a house at 24 years old. Those are only a few things. But, Pastor Travis' sermon really struck a nerve in me. I shouldn't "bury my talent". Though I'm side-lined by issues with my walking, I'm not dead! I can still get married, I can still have children (whether biological or adoptive because after all I am getting up in age). I can still move to Hollywood (although now I don't want to). HOWEVER, maybe God's pleading with me to use the talents I have right where I'm at. In fact, it's not a "maybe", He does want me to use my talents right where I'm at in life. Maybe He's allowing my "thorn in the flesh" so that someone else can be helped. Or maybe to mold me into who He wants me to be. God uses people right where they are, in whatever circumstance they are in. The sermon was an eye-opener to me: don't waste time or talent in life. Do everything with gusto and joy, because after all, GOD'S GOT THIS!!!
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