His nurse had a doozy of a time getting the Velcro off of the boot. I promised her that I have been taking the boot off every day to get a shower in the morning and to ice it at night (thinking that the more I take it on and off, the easier the Velcro would come off). She had such a hard time this time, that I offered to help and did, but that Velcro didn't move until we were both pulling on it! She then took the Ace bandage off. Thankfully, I washed that last night. If I had not, everyone within a mile radius of us would have died from the smell. It was disgusting!! When she got to the tape on my toes, she exclaimed, "Aww, you have such a pretty color of tape (pink)!" (Side note: Dr. Gardner said that I could buy that tape so much cheaper ($1.50 or so as opposed to $4 at a drug store) if I bought it at Tractor Supply - he said it's the same tape they use to tape cows with!! Haha.)
After my foot was out of the boot and the Ace bandage and the tape, I got an X-Ray. The nurse noticed that one of the dissolvable stitches in my toe had not dissolved yet. I noticed it too, because I didn't know what it was at first and tried pulling it out - with no success. ;)
After the X-ray, Dr. Gardner came in. I remembered to bring in the brace that I had made for me years ago but don't actually wear anymore. Dr. Gardner wanted to see it. I told him that I didn't wear the brace anymore because it made it even harder for me to fall. He said, "You're going to have to explain that one to me!" I tried and then he said, "You mean you get hurt worse when you fall while wearing this then if you fell without wearing it?" BINGO. He hit the nail on the head with that one. That's exactly what I meant to say. In the same bag as my brace, I also brought my left shoe. When Dr. Gardner grabbed the bag to get the brace out of it, he discovered the shoe and he turned with a smile on his face and asked, "You think you're getting out of the boot today?" My thinking had been, if I didn't have to wear the boot anymore, I'd need a shoe! But, I was also thinking that if Dr. Gardner wanted to see me in my brace, I would need it. I laughed and quickly responded with, "I brought it in case you needed to see me in the brace." Yeah, that's why I brought it!! ;) He examined the brace and put my foot in it and declared that he could see why I didn't wear it anymore. It doesn't really give me any support and it digs into my skin. NOT COMFORTABLE.
He asked if he could maneuver my foot for a minute. He said, "I know you're going to fight it (involuntarily)." He moved it into a 90 degree position and it felt wonderful. He said that's what his brace would do. That's what the boot is doing now. I also reminded him that I'm still "playing" with the settings on my deep brain stimulation device. He knew this before the surgery. I told him this past week, I've felt more of the dystonia systems return. The first two weeks after surgery were wonderful in the dystonia symptom department - I didn't have any, but I think now that my toes are coming out of being numb, I'm feeling more contractures. My toes don't curl under - because they can't now! - but, the underlying "pulling" is still there. I told him that I had not "played" with the settings in my device since the surgery because I didn't want to mess any of his work up. But there in the office today, I took my remote out and messed with the settings. He wanted to see it and how it worked. So, I showed it to him. And I went from 4.00 volts on setting C DOWN to 2.90 volts (the furthest down I could go). And you know what?! I left it there. It felt good. I told him that it really takes about two weeks to see any dystonia results. Sometimes, I think the system just needs a jolt - you know a big shake up! Haha. If this level gets to be way too little and I'm having major problems, I'll turn it right back up to 4, but (at least for this day and tonight), I'm leaving it at 2.90.
The callous on the bottom of my foot has been acting up again this past week (meaning, it's been hurting really bad!). Dr. Gardner looked at that again and he said, "It needs a little more help again." So he shaved it down some more. I asked why it hurt so bad and he explained it to me, but now I've completely forgotten what he said! But what I do remember him saying is that it is healing, so that's all I really need to remember! He put some topical medication on it along with mole's skin. It'll speed up the recovery. I'm supposed to leave all of that on until tomorrow and then he said that I'll start to see the callous peel away.
Dr. Gardner said everything looked good and healing is what he expected it to look like a month out of surgery, but he's a little concerned about my third toe. He said it's still not doing what it's supposed to do. He then said that he may have to do an "in-office" procedure where he would numb my toe and clip more of the tendon. I wanted it done right then, but he's being more cautious and giving it a little more time to see if it'll straighten out on its own. He said that the swelling has gone down in my foot and toes. I told him I didn't think it had. He said, "Well, you look at it every day. From two weeks ago, it's significantly gone down!" I told him that I've been icing my foot every night. He said that's what's contributed to the decrease in swelling.
I joked with Dr. Gardner that I am probably the only patient he's ever seen that actually doesn't mind wearing the boot. He smiled and said, "I thought you'd like it after you got used to it." It's not that I love making fashion statements with it, or that I love wearing it all the time - it's that it gives me so much support. Yes, I've had some troubles, but over all, it's helping me. However, when Dr. Gardner said he wants me to wear it for at least another two weeks, I had mixed emotions. I'm thankful that it's still going to be there to give me support, but I was hoping to get rid of it at the same time. It's definitely a love/hate relationship. ;) I also have to continue to wrap my toes and ice my foot. BUT - the good news about the ice: I've been icing it for 30 minutes every night and he said I could do it now for 15-20 minutes - yay! He's also giving me a compounded topical medication that I can put all over my foot and toes. It will help in reducing the swelling. Dr. Gardner gave me a new boot to wear at night. I can't wear it out because it has no sole like my other boot, but at night it'll be more comfortable to wear then the heavy boot.
I go back to see him on June 1.
So, the journey continues, one small, rather awkward, step at a time. I get discouraged some times, however God always throws me a lifeline. Today, I was a little sad. I don't even really know why because things are healing and progressing well and Dr. Gardner is pleased. I guess it's the part of my personality that always wants things now and wants them perfect. ;) But, I sent a text to my family telling them how the appointment went and what Dr. Gardner said and their responses instantly put a smile on my face. That's God cheering me up. ;) And - when I think back to a year ago, or 2 years ago or 5 years ago, I can't even tell you how in awe I am of where I am now! God continues to work miracles in my life. He's teaching me and stretching me and loving me. I am in awe of the way He works. When I get discouraged or sad, I just look at what the Lord's already done and is continuing to do in my life and I know....GOD'S GOT THIS!!!
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