Second Nature

Last night it struck me - walking with a walker has become second nature for me. I don't even think about it any more. This is an amazing development for me. I still remember how I felt when it sunk in that I would have to use a walker (or some form of help) for the rest of my life. I was devastated. How would life go on?

But now, walking with a walker is second nature. I instantly reach for it when I stand up. When I wake up in the morning and get out of bed, I instinctively reach for the walker. When I get up from my desk at work, I instinctively reach for the walker. I automatically throw it in the car, without a second thought. The fact that I don't even think about it any more comes as joy. Strange, I know, but joy nonetheless. I never in a million years ever thought that I would get used to it. So, it's with joy, that I say that it's second nature for me now.

I am extremely thankful that the Lord has allowed me to adjust to life with a walker. I think once I stopped fighting Him on it, it became easier to accept! Funny how that works. I am mindfully trying to accept what the Lord has allowed and am trying to use it for Him. Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me and loved me despite the walker. You really have no clue (even though I've tried to explain) how much having to use the walker really made me afraid to face the world. But, God was and is with me the entire time and He and I have navigated life with a walker to the point where it's just what it is: a device to help me get around. I still have moments of fear and doubt and embarrassment, but it's nowhere near how I imagined it would be. When I first started using the walker, I was afraid to face the world, but now God has brought me to a place of peace and I want to show the world what I'm made of. Don't get me wrong - sometimes out of the blue, the same fear, self-doubt and embarrassment that I felt in the early days of having to use the walker creep in and nestle within me, but I know that I am loved by a great God and no matter how I have to navigate to get around, He's with me every step of the way.