There are so many things in life that bring a smile to my face. But I, like most every one else, get so tied up in the often times mundane details of every day life, that I forget to smile and be happy about the simple things. Today, I took the time to write down the things that brought a smile to my face and I've decided to share. Some are silly, some are more deep, but here they are:
- It's Wednesday - which means it's hump day, which reminds me of the commercial with the camel asking "what day is it?", which makes me think of camels, which puts a smile on my face!! (I know I've mentioned the camel commercial before on the blog, but it brings me so much happiness, I decided to mention it again!!)
- Both American Idol and Duck Dynasty premiere tonight and even better they don't overlap each other which means, after church I'll be watching TV all night long - haha!!
- It's church night - I love getting a middle of the week pick-me-up, worshipping the Lord and seeing all my church family. It was a great sermon by Dad on salt and light.
- I slept an extra 5 minutes this morning (however, it was NOT on purpose!!) and still made it to work at my normal time :)
- It didn't snow last night!!! Sorry for all those who love snow, but I'm a Southern girl and like warm weather :)
- I have an AWESOME job that I love going to every day. I seriously could not ask for a better a job. I realize how extremely blessed I am even to have a job at all, but to have one in my field and one that I love with all my heart - that's a blessing that can only come from God!!
- I got all my Christmas decorations taken down and put away this past weekend - which means I don't have to worry about taking them down anymore and all my Valentine's decor is up.
- Stuart (my brother) made me dinner last night (spaghetti) which meant I didn't have to worry about what to feed myself!
- I watched Chicago Fire last night which always puts me in a good mood!
- I've had the song "Whom Shall I Fear" by Chris Tomlin, which I affectionately refer to as the "Angel Armies" song, stuck in my head all day. As opposed to other songs (like jingles from TV commercials!) I don't mind having this song stuck on repeat in my brain!
- I type the date a lot during the work day and all day today I was dyslexic and kept typing 1/14/15, thereby jumping ahead a year. It made me laugh every time I did it, because you would think that after the third or fourth (or fifteenth!) time, I would have gotten it right. But logic said: "14 goes before 15" thereby having me type the wrong date all day today!
- I like the outfit I'm wearing today. I'm dressed all in gray, which normally isn't a happy inducing color, but I have a green shirt on under my gray sweater and I'm wearing my fun tights (they are striped)....so I like my outfit!!
- A rainbow showed up on my desk at work. It's just another reminder of God's promises!
- It was a full moon tonight and absolutely stunning!!
- I got to talk to my best friend, Julie on the phone. Since we live in different states, it's always awesome when I get to talk to her!!
I know the difference between happiness and joy. While most of the things above will bring me temporary happiness, I know that true joy comes from the One who gave me life to experience the happy things in. I know that happiness is fleeting and circumstantial, but joy is everlasting. May you have joy in your heart and in your soul.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Worship and Praise
I want to share with you two songs that have spoken deeply to me in last few months we have been singing them at church. They are both worship songs and ironically, they are both written by men named Matt :) The first one is "10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)" by Matt Redman and the second one is "Lord, I Need You" by Matt Maher. I've posted the lyrics here so you can read them, and I urge you to YouTube them to get the music in there too! I hope you get as much out of them as I do! There are particular stanzas is each song that jump out at me as my favorites.
In "10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)" it's these lyrics:
"And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore"
And in "Lord, I Need You" it's these lyrics:
"Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay"
I love how the Lord can speak to us through song. I may not be the best singer in the world, but I always remember that the Lord said to make make a JOYFUL NOISE unto Him and that I can do!! :) I get both of these songs stuck in my head regularly and when this happens, I choose to think of it as God reminding me of His precious promises.
I hope that you can worship and praise the One who gave you life today. Always remember that JOY comes in the morning and may you blessed today and always.
"10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)"
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore
[Chorus x2]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
Lord, I'll worship Your holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
I'll worship Your holy name
____________________________________________
"Lord, I Need You"
Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
In "10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)" it's these lyrics:
"And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore"
And in "Lord, I Need You" it's these lyrics:
"Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay"
I love how the Lord can speak to us through song. I may not be the best singer in the world, but I always remember that the Lord said to make make a JOYFUL NOISE unto Him and that I can do!! :) I get both of these songs stuck in my head regularly and when this happens, I choose to think of it as God reminding me of His precious promises.
I hope that you can worship and praise the One who gave you life today. Always remember that JOY comes in the morning and may you blessed today and always.
"10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)"
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore
[Chorus x2]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
Lord, I'll worship Your holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
I'll worship Your holy name
____________________________________________
"Lord, I Need You"
Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
The Year of Being Refined by Fire
It's the last day of 2013. I can not believe it. I say that every year, but more often now the older I get. I remember my dad once telling us kids that the time just seemed to fly by and that we would understand one day what he meant by that. I think I'm finally understanding! December 31, 2013 - 365 days of 2013 gone by...how does that happen?! I'd by lying if I said that I'm sorry to see 2013 go. In actuality, I'm ready to be done with it. I'm ready to start fresh with 2014 and see what all God has in store for me and my family and my friends.
2013 brought with it some of the most devastating times and yet, God is faithful, and sprinkled in between the devastating times were also memory-making, happy times. The main theme this year of my life has been being refined by fire. I see how God is refining me through the fire. Everything that doesn't kill me, strengthens me. This year wasn't all good. It was hard. It was messy. It was sad. It was LIFE. But, at the same time there were moments of pure joy. Celebrations years in the making. Laughter so hard, I'm surprised it didn't kill me! LIFE!! I'm thankful for the year that I had because it only served to help me grow. Sometimes, the fire of life is so hot, even if you don't want to be refined, you're forced to do so :) With growing comes growing pains. I've been shown in glaring light my shortcomings and failures and the things that I need to work on the most. But God's shown me grace. When I didn't think I could take another breath, God was there. While, I'd rather not have the massive wild fires running through my life, they do serve a purpose. What I've learned this year is that God isn't a "reactive" God. By that I mean, He doesn't spare us from heartache just because we are "good" nor does He heap it upon us because we are "bad". We live in a sinful world and because of that bad things happen. It's by His grace that we experience the good things. I have always, always believed that everything happens for a reason. Nothing is random. God's got all the "balls in the air" and not one of them drops without Him knowing about it and having a plan for it. I'm alive because God's not done with me yet - He's got a plan for me. You're alive because God's not done with you either and He has a plan for you too. Nothing happens without Gods ordaining of it. I, of all people, need to be reminded of this time and time again, especially in the depths of despair.
My dad wrote a story for this year's Advent service sermons at our church. It was titled: "Josh and Kate's Absolutely Horrible, Miserable, Downright Depressing Holiday Season". I feel like that was my year. My life isn't perfect. It has cracks in it. My life is bitter. My life is sweet. My life is being refined by the One who created it. LIFE is worth living, even when it's hard. I came across this Bible verse the other day and it's going to be my "it" verse for 2014: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:12 NIV)
I'm ending 2013 knowing that I'm still being refined, but I'm also in the palm of Jesus' hand and in that, I will rest!
2013 brought with it some of the most devastating times and yet, God is faithful, and sprinkled in between the devastating times were also memory-making, happy times. The main theme this year of my life has been being refined by fire. I see how God is refining me through the fire. Everything that doesn't kill me, strengthens me. This year wasn't all good. It was hard. It was messy. It was sad. It was LIFE. But, at the same time there were moments of pure joy. Celebrations years in the making. Laughter so hard, I'm surprised it didn't kill me! LIFE!! I'm thankful for the year that I had because it only served to help me grow. Sometimes, the fire of life is so hot, even if you don't want to be refined, you're forced to do so :) With growing comes growing pains. I've been shown in glaring light my shortcomings and failures and the things that I need to work on the most. But God's shown me grace. When I didn't think I could take another breath, God was there. While, I'd rather not have the massive wild fires running through my life, they do serve a purpose. What I've learned this year is that God isn't a "reactive" God. By that I mean, He doesn't spare us from heartache just because we are "good" nor does He heap it upon us because we are "bad". We live in a sinful world and because of that bad things happen. It's by His grace that we experience the good things. I have always, always believed that everything happens for a reason. Nothing is random. God's got all the "balls in the air" and not one of them drops without Him knowing about it and having a plan for it. I'm alive because God's not done with me yet - He's got a plan for me. You're alive because God's not done with you either and He has a plan for you too. Nothing happens without Gods ordaining of it. I, of all people, need to be reminded of this time and time again, especially in the depths of despair.
My dad wrote a story for this year's Advent service sermons at our church. It was titled: "Josh and Kate's Absolutely Horrible, Miserable, Downright Depressing Holiday Season". I feel like that was my year. My life isn't perfect. It has cracks in it. My life is bitter. My life is sweet. My life is being refined by the One who created it. LIFE is worth living, even when it's hard. I came across this Bible verse the other day and it's going to be my "it" verse for 2014: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:12 NIV)
I'm ending 2013 knowing that I'm still being refined, but I'm also in the palm of Jesus' hand and in that, I will rest!
Friday, December 6, 2013
A Magical Night
There's only one word to describe tonight: magical. Two of my favorite things: Amy Grant and figure skating combined to create one spectacular show and a night that I'll never forget.
It all started at the beginning of November when I read in the paper that Scott Hamilton and Friends on Ice was coming to Knoxville. I couldn't believe it!! I really didn't think much about it though, because I didn't think there would be a chance that I could go. That is, until I was talking to Mom on the phone one night and mentioned it to her. She asked if I would like for that to be one of my Christmas presents. Without even hesitating, I said yes! A few days later she told me that we were going. A mother/daughter outing I could not wait for!! The news only got better when, a few weeks later, I found out that the skaters would be skating to Amy Grant music and not only that, but Amy would be there in person to sing. Figure skating plus an Amy Grant concert equals one magical night in my book.
It all started at the beginning of November when I read in the paper that Scott Hamilton and Friends on Ice was coming to Knoxville. I couldn't believe it!! I really didn't think much about it though, because I didn't think there would be a chance that I could go. That is, until I was talking to Mom on the phone one night and mentioned it to her. She asked if I would like for that to be one of my Christmas presents. Without even hesitating, I said yes! A few days later she told me that we were going. A mother/daughter outing I could not wait for!! The news only got better when, a few weeks later, I found out that the skaters would be skating to Amy Grant music and not only that, but Amy would be there in person to sing. Figure skating plus an Amy Grant concert equals one magical night in my book.
So tonight finally came. I was beside myself with excitement! Not even the pouring down rain could dampen my spirits. Mom and I got off to a little later start then we had planned on, but we still had plenty of time to get to the Knoxville Coliseum, or so we thought. The rain plus the Knoxville Christmas Parade being held at the same time meant that we were delayed. We had to take a detour, but eventually found our way to the parking garage with five minutes until show time. But it wasn't as easy as just walking into the building. No, we had to walk down these long steep ramps and over a crosswalk and through the woods (OK, maybe not that last one!!) to get to the Coliseum. I was almost in tears, knowing that we were super late. I even exclaimed that we would miss half the show (I can be a little dramatic every once in awhile - ha!) Mom kept me focused on the task at hand though - which was getting inside. To most people, this would not have been a problem, but to me it seemed like we would never make it in time. Mom even exclaimed that one day we would look back on this and laugh, but at the time it was not funny! But, with Mom's help we finally did make it inside, only to be met by the realization that we had to walk down several steep rows with no railing on them to get to our seats. I left my walker at the top of the row and with the help of Mom and my cane made it precariously down to our seats. God knew that I wanted to see this show from start to finish and it's only by His grace that for whatever reason the show did not start until literally 30 seconds after Mom and I took our seats. Mom looked at her watch. It was 6:10 and the show was to have started at 6pm. All I can say is, Thank you, Jesus!! :)
The show itself was absolutely magical in my eyes. I was transported back to being a little kid seeing everything with wonder and amazement. It truly was a spectacular evening. I loved spending it with Mom and will treasure it always in my heart. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. About a half an hour into the show I looked over the railing down to the lower level and spotted a familiar bald head. I nudged Mom and she looked too. Scott Hamilton was standing right below us watching the show from the side lines. Then I turned into stalker lady and started taking pictures of him. I wasn't the only one though. I was sitting next to a husband and wife and the wife started taking pictures too. Her husband called us the paparazzi. I sang along to all the songs and was enthralled by all the skaters. It was a truly blessed night in which I will forever remember.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
November in Review
Wow - November completely got away from me and I had absolutely no time to post a blog entry. So sorry! Some have asked when a new blog post would appear, so here it is!
November marked 20 years that my family and I have lived in Tennessee. That is, minus the four years I spent in Kentucky for college, but since that wasn't year round and I wasn't a resident of Kentucky, I don't count that :) Twenty years!! I have to admit that I was the one who did NOT want to move from my birthplace of Alabama. Dad reminded me that I was the sole person who gave him the most grief about moving. I remember even declaring that he amd Mom and the boys could move, but I would stay in Alabama. To that he responded that since I was only 13 the law would not allow that! I did not quickly warm up to Tennessee either. It took a few years (maybe a little longer!). There were things I liked about it, for sure, but if you asked me those first few years, I would proudly declare that I was not from Tennessee, but Alabama. While I'm still proud to be Alabama born and bred (up to age 13!) I am truly a Tennessean now. I love my Smoky Mountains and Knoxville is home. While I love, love, love the people of Gardendale, Alabama, now - after 20 years - Knoxville, Tennessee is home. I returned to Gardendale a few years ago - driving myself for the first time and it struck me that it was the very first time I had actually ever driven in Gardendale. It's a whole different ball game when you're in the driver's seat instead of the passenger seat. Places, I thought I knew how to get to, I didn't! But in actuality, that's not saying a whole lot, because even after 20 years in Knoxville, I get lost regularly! I have NO sense of direction and unfortunately, I don't think it would matter where I lived, I'd still get lost! But after 20 years, I finally have embraced the orange and white Tennessee Volunteers. I love the Smoky Mountains. I truly believe that I live in one of the most beautiful places in the nation, if not the world. I love with all my heart the people of my church and now I have a place to "go home to" in Gardendale! It's the best of both worlds. I am so thankful that Mom and Dad, in their wisdom, decided to move our family to Tennessee. It has been a huge blessing on my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world!
I hope the family doesn't kill me for posting this picture, but this was us, 20 years ago:
November was an extremely busy month for me. The real reason I haven't posted for so long is that I was trying to write a novel. Truly. I'm not joking. November was National Novel Writing Month. A couple of my co-workers told me about this website: http://nanowrimo.org/ in which they encouraged you to write a novel within a month. To write a novel to their specifications, it had to be 50,000 words. Unfortunately, I didn't make it :( But in all honesty, I didn't know about the site or the competition until November 7, so in my mind, I still have time! The "prize" was 1.) the satisfaction that you wrote a novel 2.) You got a coupon to Amazon.com to get a discount for getting your novel published. So far, I've got 28, 266 words. I would have made my goal (I think!), but life got in the way - haha- and I didn't force myself to write. However, I'm not giving up just because the month is over. I'll continue with it and refine it and who knows - maybe someday I'll be a famous book author! We'll see about that :) But, again, that was the real reason I didn't write a blog post in November - I was tired of writing!!
Here's some highlights of the month:
The beginning of November saw my brother Stuart moving in with me. Yes, after 8 years of living by myself, I've once again had to learn how to close the bathroom door, share the TV, and so much more! This is only temporary, just 2-3 months. He is a commercial real estate appraiser and is taking certification classes. These classes are a week long and he has to take 4 of them. That, along with some other reasons led us to the decision that it would be wise for him not to have to worry about rent for awhile and focus on his studies, so he moved in. I'll admit, I was a little leary of this, but it's actually been a blessing. He's helped out a lot around the house. He's even cooked me a couple of meals and I have to admit, he's a pretty good cook. It's also brought back the feeling that I've always had: even if we aren't in the same room or even talking to each other, just knowing there is someone else in the house is very comforting to me. As much as I love having my own space, I also love having someone around. He might be moving out at the end of the month, but more likely in January.
Mom, Dad, my grandmother (Oma) and I went to a piano recital at the beginning of November. In all honesty, I didn't want to go, but it turned out to be a really fun night. It was at the Clayton Center on Maryville College's campus. The pianist was a guy named Emile Pandolfi and he infused humor with his piano playing. I had no expectations for this concert at all. I thought it would be boring, actually. But surprisingly, it was not! It was a great night and I am glad that I got to go and spend it with Mom, Dad and Oma.
November also brought with it the "I have so much PTO (paid time off) that I have to use before I lose it" freak out that I always do around this time at work. That meant, I started taking days off - one per week to be exact! Next year, I have to spread my time out more during the year and use it more wisely. Although, I mudt admit that I do like this time off that I have now :)
I saw my neurologist, Dr. Matthiessen on November 11. I had every intention of telling him about all my problems (like he didn't already know them!), but the waiting room was a huge wake up call for me. Usually, when I go in for an appointment, the waiting room isn't all that full and when it is, it's people that I think, "why are they here?" because they show no outward signs of being sick, but this time it was different. There were several patients in the waiting room and they were all much, much worse off than me. There was one guy in a wheelchair and several using walkers (as was I). The ones using walkers had major problems walking with them. It struck me that I shouldn't be having a pity party for myself. I had NOTHING to complain about. And that's exactly what I told Dr. Matthiessen and his nurse. His nurse came and got me for the appointment and asked how I was. I responded that I actually didn't know why I was there, because compared to the people that were in the waiting room I was doing excellent. She completely understood and said that even she marvels at what she sees in the waiting room and that she knows she is blessed. We talked more than we ever had before and she told me that she's used up 2 of her 9 lives. She is a breast cancer survivor and she had been in a car accident 6 months before and had just gotten back to work that week. She was echoing my sentiments on how blessed we truly are and how much worse it could really be. When Dr. Matthiessen came in he remarked that he saw me whip right into the exam room, exclaiming that he thought I was walking pretty well. He asked how I was doing and I again said that in comparison to the people in the waiting room, I was doing excellent. He liked my "redo" of the walker (I reupholstered it!) and he wanted to know again if my weight loss was on purpose. I assured him it was. He asked how I was getting along and I told him that I still have issues, but they haven't gotten any worse and I manage. We decided that the dose of medicine I'm on now is the right dose for now. It was all in all a great appointment and I left feeling encouraged and more determined than ever not to let this disability get me down. I have to use a walker and that's what it is. I shouldn't be ashamed of that, even though at times I am. It is what it is. I love my life, cracks and all. I still have hope that there will eventually be a cure or a surgery that would fix my walking issues, but I'm determined not to be a hermit in the meantime :)
I also had a dentist appointment. No cavities - yay!!! But, I am parent's daughter - ha :) I have one tooth on each side of my lower jaw where the gums are receeding. The last time I was at the dentist, the hygentist mentioned that I should take it easy on my lower left side tooth and not brush so hard or floss so hard. This time around, that side looked better, but it was my right side that she was concerned about. She and the dentist discussed sending me to specialized dentist to get a skin graft, but in the end - thankfully - they decided to give me another 6 months to see if it would heal, since the left side did. The hygentist came so, so close to telling me not to floss, but then at the last minute said "I don't want to tell you not to floss at all!" That would have been a first! I told the dentist, I'm a little agressive (to say the least!) when I brush and floss. In my mind, the harder you brush, the more germs you kill. But he told me to go easy and be gentle on my teeth. Dad has told me this too, so I think I'm finally listening!
Stanton and Aubrey (my brother and sister-in-law) came in to town on Novemer 23-24. Stanton is a resident in Emergency Medicine at Erlanger in Chattanooga and had to work on Thanksgiving, so he and Aubrey made the hour and half trip the weekend before to spend some time with us. It was a fun weekend. Vanderbilt (where both Stanton and Aubrey graduated from) played Tennessee in football, so we watched the game and Vanderbilt won. Stanton and Aubrey cooked dinner for Mom, Stuart and I on Saturday night. Dad was in San Antonio for a conference. Mom had lunch for us on Sunday after church. It was a great weekend. Stanton told me stories of his adventures on the Trauma Unit. I loved it!!
Thanksgiving was awesome. Two of my Mom's three brothers (yes, history repeated itself with me and my three brothers!) came in from Michigan and Wisconsin respectively. My Uncle Chris and Aunt Edith came with their two sons, Markus (10) and Lukas (5) and my Uncle Danny came with his son, Jakub (10). They all stayed at Oma's house. Steven (my youngest brother) came in from Birmingham, Alabama where he goes to college at Samford. And Aubrey drove in from Chattanooga. The surprise of the day (or should I say night?!) - Stanton drove in after a 12 hour shift arriving at 8:30pm just so that the whole family could be together for Thanksgiving!! We had eaten Thanksgiving dinner without him, but there was still plenty of food left over for him to have a Thanksgiving meal and then we ate dessert together. He came in his scrubs. I know, I'm weird, but I thought that was so cool!! :) I still can't believe my little brother is a doctor!!! He was in Knoxville for a grand total of two hours. He had to be back in Chattanooga for a 5:30am shift, but would be back in Knoxville as soon as his shift ended on Friday.
My Mom's yummy pumpkin pie:
Thanksgiving day was spent watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade at Mom and Dad's while Mom made all the sides for our Thanksgiving meal. Then we watched the National Dog Show and talked and just got to be together. Then we headed over to Oma's house and spent the rest of the day and night hanging out with all the relatives. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family. This was the first year without Opa, as he passed away in April, but even so, Thanksgiving was a truly blessed day and memories were once again made (like the fire alarm going off at Oma's 5 times, but not because of the cooking!!) The day after Thanksgiving, Mom, my Aunt Edith and I went shopping. But not the crazy, midnight, Black Friday shopping!! We left the house at a respectable 10 am hour and went to Kohl's in search of gifts for my cousins. Kohl's was a madhouse, but there was a method to the madness and even though the check-out lines wrapped around the entire store, the wait was surprisingly not that lon; we moved along very quickly! We also went to a shoe store, where I ended up getting 2 pairs of Clark's shoes for $35 each. If you know about Clark's you know that $35 is an amazing price for them :) We dropped my Aunt Edith back off at Oma's house and then Mom, Oma and I went to a funeral at church that my Dad was officiating. Then Mom and I ran to a few more stores, before heading home where everyone beat us there (Stanton and Aubrey arrived from Chattanooga, Stuart and his girlfriend, Katie were there too). We had a fun, fun family night with just the eight of us: Mom, Dad, me, Stuart and Katie, Stanton and Aubrey, and Steven. And since we were even again, we had the perfect scenario for playing games. We played Catchphrase all night. It was boys against girls. The girls won over and over and over again - ha! I will say, the guys did win a couple of times :) It was a great, fun night and again memories were made to last a lifetime. Saturday, I ran to the grocery store for Mom and then Aubrey and I wrapped presents for Mom and ran an errand to pick up Christmas presents for my cousins. Halfway through our Christmas gift wrapping, Aubrey commented that she was sorry she wasn't talking much. I realized then, that I hadn't been talking either. We were so engrossed in our wrapping that we couldn't talk and wrap at the same time :) It was still fun though! I'm a horrible present wrapper, so I gave Aubrey all the hard to wrap presents, but still managed to get my fair share of them. I have to say, little kid's toys are very hard to wrap sometimes!! We were laughing at the horrible job we did. I should say, that I did. Aubrey did fantastic :) When we were done with the wrapping, we emerged to boys engrossed in the Alabama/Auburn game. I did mention at the beginning of this blog post that we are from Alabama, right?! Well, Stuart is a die-hard Alabama fan. Die-hard. There was screaming and talking and on-the-side-lines coaching coming from the living room. He and Steven and Stanton and Dad and Stuart's girlfriend, Katie were all focused on the game. It was fun watching them watch the game. We even delayed dinner with the relatives (they were coming over) because of the game. They all came over and we began dinner and then there was silence. And that's when the unthinkable happened - Alabama lost! What?!! Did that just happen?! I saw the national news this morning and they are still talking about the game. Needless to say, Stuart was not happy, not happy at all. But despite the loss, Saturday night was fun, fun, fun - filled with food, people and laughter. Sunday, we all went to church where Dad preached a fabulous sermon (I may be a little biased!) and then it was time for professional family pictures. We haven't done this in years. There could have been blood shed, but alas we survived and got some great pictures to prove it!! Mom thinks it's harder now to get pictures made of all of us then it was when we were kids. We each have our own opinions of what we should wear and how we should pose and what we should do. To cut down on the "what to wear", she provided us our "uniforms"!! I'm secretly, very happy she did so, because that meant I didn't have to think about it :) Her one request was that I get a hair cut, which I haven't had in a long while - probably two years (I know, I know, that's super bad!) So I got 3 inches cut off the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.
This was the madness of the picture taking adventure:
This isn't all that happened in November, but I have to keep some things close to my heart. I was, however, reminded again how blessed I truly am. Through the good times and the struggles in life, I know that I have a purpose. I may not know what that purpose is yet, but I know, God is refining me and molding me and showing me how much He loves me. I learned much in the month of November. I laughed a lot; I cried a lot; I thought a lot. I am thankful. I hope your November was blessed and that your December will be one filled with praise for the Lord. It is, after all the month we celebrate His birth. So much has happened in December already and it's only the 3rd day. I will definitely write another blog post soon to tell you all about it!
November marked 20 years that my family and I have lived in Tennessee. That is, minus the four years I spent in Kentucky for college, but since that wasn't year round and I wasn't a resident of Kentucky, I don't count that :) Twenty years!! I have to admit that I was the one who did NOT want to move from my birthplace of Alabama. Dad reminded me that I was the sole person who gave him the most grief about moving. I remember even declaring that he amd Mom and the boys could move, but I would stay in Alabama. To that he responded that since I was only 13 the law would not allow that! I did not quickly warm up to Tennessee either. It took a few years (maybe a little longer!). There were things I liked about it, for sure, but if you asked me those first few years, I would proudly declare that I was not from Tennessee, but Alabama. While I'm still proud to be Alabama born and bred (up to age 13!) I am truly a Tennessean now. I love my Smoky Mountains and Knoxville is home. While I love, love, love the people of Gardendale, Alabama, now - after 20 years - Knoxville, Tennessee is home. I returned to Gardendale a few years ago - driving myself for the first time and it struck me that it was the very first time I had actually ever driven in Gardendale. It's a whole different ball game when you're in the driver's seat instead of the passenger seat. Places, I thought I knew how to get to, I didn't! But in actuality, that's not saying a whole lot, because even after 20 years in Knoxville, I get lost regularly! I have NO sense of direction and unfortunately, I don't think it would matter where I lived, I'd still get lost! But after 20 years, I finally have embraced the orange and white Tennessee Volunteers. I love the Smoky Mountains. I truly believe that I live in one of the most beautiful places in the nation, if not the world. I love with all my heart the people of my church and now I have a place to "go home to" in Gardendale! It's the best of both worlds. I am so thankful that Mom and Dad, in their wisdom, decided to move our family to Tennessee. It has been a huge blessing on my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world!
I hope the family doesn't kill me for posting this picture, but this was us, 20 years ago:
November was an extremely busy month for me. The real reason I haven't posted for so long is that I was trying to write a novel. Truly. I'm not joking. November was National Novel Writing Month. A couple of my co-workers told me about this website: http://nanowrimo.org/ in which they encouraged you to write a novel within a month. To write a novel to their specifications, it had to be 50,000 words. Unfortunately, I didn't make it :( But in all honesty, I didn't know about the site or the competition until November 7, so in my mind, I still have time! The "prize" was 1.) the satisfaction that you wrote a novel 2.) You got a coupon to Amazon.com to get a discount for getting your novel published. So far, I've got 28, 266 words. I would have made my goal (I think!), but life got in the way - haha- and I didn't force myself to write. However, I'm not giving up just because the month is over. I'll continue with it and refine it and who knows - maybe someday I'll be a famous book author! We'll see about that :) But, again, that was the real reason I didn't write a blog post in November - I was tired of writing!!
Here's some highlights of the month:
The beginning of November saw my brother Stuart moving in with me. Yes, after 8 years of living by myself, I've once again had to learn how to close the bathroom door, share the TV, and so much more! This is only temporary, just 2-3 months. He is a commercial real estate appraiser and is taking certification classes. These classes are a week long and he has to take 4 of them. That, along with some other reasons led us to the decision that it would be wise for him not to have to worry about rent for awhile and focus on his studies, so he moved in. I'll admit, I was a little leary of this, but it's actually been a blessing. He's helped out a lot around the house. He's even cooked me a couple of meals and I have to admit, he's a pretty good cook. It's also brought back the feeling that I've always had: even if we aren't in the same room or even talking to each other, just knowing there is someone else in the house is very comforting to me. As much as I love having my own space, I also love having someone around. He might be moving out at the end of the month, but more likely in January.
Mom, Dad, my grandmother (Oma) and I went to a piano recital at the beginning of November. In all honesty, I didn't want to go, but it turned out to be a really fun night. It was at the Clayton Center on Maryville College's campus. The pianist was a guy named Emile Pandolfi and he infused humor with his piano playing. I had no expectations for this concert at all. I thought it would be boring, actually. But surprisingly, it was not! It was a great night and I am glad that I got to go and spend it with Mom, Dad and Oma.
November also brought with it the "I have so much PTO (paid time off) that I have to use before I lose it" freak out that I always do around this time at work. That meant, I started taking days off - one per week to be exact! Next year, I have to spread my time out more during the year and use it more wisely. Although, I mudt admit that I do like this time off that I have now :)
I saw my neurologist, Dr. Matthiessen on November 11. I had every intention of telling him about all my problems (like he didn't already know them!), but the waiting room was a huge wake up call for me. Usually, when I go in for an appointment, the waiting room isn't all that full and when it is, it's people that I think, "why are they here?" because they show no outward signs of being sick, but this time it was different. There were several patients in the waiting room and they were all much, much worse off than me. There was one guy in a wheelchair and several using walkers (as was I). The ones using walkers had major problems walking with them. It struck me that I shouldn't be having a pity party for myself. I had NOTHING to complain about. And that's exactly what I told Dr. Matthiessen and his nurse. His nurse came and got me for the appointment and asked how I was. I responded that I actually didn't know why I was there, because compared to the people that were in the waiting room I was doing excellent. She completely understood and said that even she marvels at what she sees in the waiting room and that she knows she is blessed. We talked more than we ever had before and she told me that she's used up 2 of her 9 lives. She is a breast cancer survivor and she had been in a car accident 6 months before and had just gotten back to work that week. She was echoing my sentiments on how blessed we truly are and how much worse it could really be. When Dr. Matthiessen came in he remarked that he saw me whip right into the exam room, exclaiming that he thought I was walking pretty well. He asked how I was doing and I again said that in comparison to the people in the waiting room, I was doing excellent. He liked my "redo" of the walker (I reupholstered it!) and he wanted to know again if my weight loss was on purpose. I assured him it was. He asked how I was getting along and I told him that I still have issues, but they haven't gotten any worse and I manage. We decided that the dose of medicine I'm on now is the right dose for now. It was all in all a great appointment and I left feeling encouraged and more determined than ever not to let this disability get me down. I have to use a walker and that's what it is. I shouldn't be ashamed of that, even though at times I am. It is what it is. I love my life, cracks and all. I still have hope that there will eventually be a cure or a surgery that would fix my walking issues, but I'm determined not to be a hermit in the meantime :)
I also had a dentist appointment. No cavities - yay!!! But, I am parent's daughter - ha :) I have one tooth on each side of my lower jaw where the gums are receeding. The last time I was at the dentist, the hygentist mentioned that I should take it easy on my lower left side tooth and not brush so hard or floss so hard. This time around, that side looked better, but it was my right side that she was concerned about. She and the dentist discussed sending me to specialized dentist to get a skin graft, but in the end - thankfully - they decided to give me another 6 months to see if it would heal, since the left side did. The hygentist came so, so close to telling me not to floss, but then at the last minute said "I don't want to tell you not to floss at all!" That would have been a first! I told the dentist, I'm a little agressive (to say the least!) when I brush and floss. In my mind, the harder you brush, the more germs you kill. But he told me to go easy and be gentle on my teeth. Dad has told me this too, so I think I'm finally listening!
Stanton and Aubrey (my brother and sister-in-law) came in to town on Novemer 23-24. Stanton is a resident in Emergency Medicine at Erlanger in Chattanooga and had to work on Thanksgiving, so he and Aubrey made the hour and half trip the weekend before to spend some time with us. It was a fun weekend. Vanderbilt (where both Stanton and Aubrey graduated from) played Tennessee in football, so we watched the game and Vanderbilt won. Stanton and Aubrey cooked dinner for Mom, Stuart and I on Saturday night. Dad was in San Antonio for a conference. Mom had lunch for us on Sunday after church. It was a great weekend. Stanton told me stories of his adventures on the Trauma Unit. I loved it!!
Thanksgiving was awesome. Two of my Mom's three brothers (yes, history repeated itself with me and my three brothers!) came in from Michigan and Wisconsin respectively. My Uncle Chris and Aunt Edith came with their two sons, Markus (10) and Lukas (5) and my Uncle Danny came with his son, Jakub (10). They all stayed at Oma's house. Steven (my youngest brother) came in from Birmingham, Alabama where he goes to college at Samford. And Aubrey drove in from Chattanooga. The surprise of the day (or should I say night?!) - Stanton drove in after a 12 hour shift arriving at 8:30pm just so that the whole family could be together for Thanksgiving!! We had eaten Thanksgiving dinner without him, but there was still plenty of food left over for him to have a Thanksgiving meal and then we ate dessert together. He came in his scrubs. I know, I'm weird, but I thought that was so cool!! :) I still can't believe my little brother is a doctor!!! He was in Knoxville for a grand total of two hours. He had to be back in Chattanooga for a 5:30am shift, but would be back in Knoxville as soon as his shift ended on Friday.
My Mom's yummy pumpkin pie:
Thanksgiving day was spent watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade at Mom and Dad's while Mom made all the sides for our Thanksgiving meal. Then we watched the National Dog Show and talked and just got to be together. Then we headed over to Oma's house and spent the rest of the day and night hanging out with all the relatives. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family. This was the first year without Opa, as he passed away in April, but even so, Thanksgiving was a truly blessed day and memories were once again made (like the fire alarm going off at Oma's 5 times, but not because of the cooking!!) The day after Thanksgiving, Mom, my Aunt Edith and I went shopping. But not the crazy, midnight, Black Friday shopping!! We left the house at a respectable 10 am hour and went to Kohl's in search of gifts for my cousins. Kohl's was a madhouse, but there was a method to the madness and even though the check-out lines wrapped around the entire store, the wait was surprisingly not that lon; we moved along very quickly! We also went to a shoe store, where I ended up getting 2 pairs of Clark's shoes for $35 each. If you know about Clark's you know that $35 is an amazing price for them :) We dropped my Aunt Edith back off at Oma's house and then Mom, Oma and I went to a funeral at church that my Dad was officiating. Then Mom and I ran to a few more stores, before heading home where everyone beat us there (Stanton and Aubrey arrived from Chattanooga, Stuart and his girlfriend, Katie were there too). We had a fun, fun family night with just the eight of us: Mom, Dad, me, Stuart and Katie, Stanton and Aubrey, and Steven. And since we were even again, we had the perfect scenario for playing games. We played Catchphrase all night. It was boys against girls. The girls won over and over and over again - ha! I will say, the guys did win a couple of times :) It was a great, fun night and again memories were made to last a lifetime. Saturday, I ran to the grocery store for Mom and then Aubrey and I wrapped presents for Mom and ran an errand to pick up Christmas presents for my cousins. Halfway through our Christmas gift wrapping, Aubrey commented that she was sorry she wasn't talking much. I realized then, that I hadn't been talking either. We were so engrossed in our wrapping that we couldn't talk and wrap at the same time :) It was still fun though! I'm a horrible present wrapper, so I gave Aubrey all the hard to wrap presents, but still managed to get my fair share of them. I have to say, little kid's toys are very hard to wrap sometimes!! We were laughing at the horrible job we did. I should say, that I did. Aubrey did fantastic :) When we were done with the wrapping, we emerged to boys engrossed in the Alabama/Auburn game. I did mention at the beginning of this blog post that we are from Alabama, right?! Well, Stuart is a die-hard Alabama fan. Die-hard. There was screaming and talking and on-the-side-lines coaching coming from the living room. He and Steven and Stanton and Dad and Stuart's girlfriend, Katie were all focused on the game. It was fun watching them watch the game. We even delayed dinner with the relatives (they were coming over) because of the game. They all came over and we began dinner and then there was silence. And that's when the unthinkable happened - Alabama lost! What?!! Did that just happen?! I saw the national news this morning and they are still talking about the game. Needless to say, Stuart was not happy, not happy at all. But despite the loss, Saturday night was fun, fun, fun - filled with food, people and laughter. Sunday, we all went to church where Dad preached a fabulous sermon (I may be a little biased!) and then it was time for professional family pictures. We haven't done this in years. There could have been blood shed, but alas we survived and got some great pictures to prove it!! Mom thinks it's harder now to get pictures made of all of us then it was when we were kids. We each have our own opinions of what we should wear and how we should pose and what we should do. To cut down on the "what to wear", she provided us our "uniforms"!! I'm secretly, very happy she did so, because that meant I didn't have to think about it :) Her one request was that I get a hair cut, which I haven't had in a long while - probably two years (I know, I know, that's super bad!) So I got 3 inches cut off the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.
This was the madness of the picture taking adventure:
This isn't all that happened in November, but I have to keep some things close to my heart. I was, however, reminded again how blessed I truly am. Through the good times and the struggles in life, I know that I have a purpose. I may not know what that purpose is yet, but I know, God is refining me and molding me and showing me how much He loves me. I learned much in the month of November. I laughed a lot; I cried a lot; I thought a lot. I am thankful. I hope your November was blessed and that your December will be one filled with praise for the Lord. It is, after all the month we celebrate His birth. So much has happened in December already and it's only the 3rd day. I will definitely write another blog post soon to tell you all about it!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
An Adventure
It started with a text on Thursday night from my co- worker Sarah. She asked if I remembered her talking about workshops her mom did with the trauma nursing students at UT where she needs people to come in and be pretend patients. Of course I did. I thought it sounded like lots of fun. She said that her mom was in kind of a bind because someone had called and couldn't make it this Saturday and she asked if I wanted to do it. Something came over me and I immediately said yes! I said something came over me, because this is way, way out of my comfort zone. I would love to be an actress, however the logical part of my brain takes over and I immediately cause myself to back out of anything remotely close to acting! But I said yes to this and there was no backing out!! I immediately called my mom and told her what I had committed to. She said that it sounded like what Stanton (my brother) had to go through when he was in medical school. So, I immediately called him and he knew all about the training and the actors that were brought in to play patients. We talked awhile and he said he wanted to know what my ailment was and wanted to see pictures. By the time Friday rolled around, I was starting to get nervous and wonder what I had signed myself up for, but convinced myself that the worst that could happen was I go and they didn't need me to do anything and I would just turn right back around and go home!
Today, I woke up and was really nervous. Again, I was really wondering what I had gotten myself into :) But it turned out to be the most fun thing I have done in a long time!! It was a blast!!!!! I had so much fun. I got to the hospital at 12:30 pm and they had lunch for us. There were going to be two groups: one group would be patients of nurses and one group would be patients of physicians. I got to be in the group of patients being seen by doctors. There were 6 of us patients, 3 guys and 3 girls. We were all taken back to exam rooms and given scrubs to change into. Depending on our injury, we got scrubs to fit that (mine had a hole in it where a chest wound would be) Then we got makeup. My scenario was intially a man having been stabbed by his wife, but of course that was changed to a wife having been stabbed by her husband in the left chest with a butcher knife. I was brought to a rural county hospital (not a trauma center).
My Part:
I got an AWESOME stab wound applied to me:
All of us "patients" bonded with each other over our various injuries. I had a stab wound, one guy had a head and leg injury, one girl was shot twice, another guy got in a motorcycle accident, another girl was thrown from the car after an accident and the last guy had fallen from scaffolding and had injuries from that. We had lots of time to talk with each other and hang out and admire our injuries! Eventually, we each had a doctor assigned to us who was the doctor who would be administering the test to the physicians renewing their certifications. My doctor was Dr. Lee. She's 30 and she's a 5th year general surgeon. She was totally cool! She's a tiny, spitfire, ball of energy surgeon :) We went over what I was to do and how to react to the physicians coming in to examine me. My symptons behind the sucking chest wound were that I could not breathe and had distended neck veins, my BP was low and my heart rate high. I was in shock and had cyanosis. I was alert though (but I later become unresponsive). The doctors were to start with addressing my wound and making sure they covered their ABC's (airway, breathing and circulation). Then they put a needle into my left chest and then a chest tube. That makes my breathing a little easier , but does not significantly improve it. I become (acting, remember!) unresponsive and then they do an endotrachal intubation because they need to secure an airway. Eventually, a pericardiocentesis (sticking a needle into the pericardium - the sack around the heart - and draining fluid/blood from it) is needed. I'm able to breathe again! But not too much longer after that, I start exhibiting the same symptoms and they have to drain the pericadium again and get me to a trauma center stat! (OK, stat is my word, but I'm channeling my inner "ER" persona!)
Me in full make-up:
The way that the afternoon worked was two physicians would come in at the same time. One was being tested and the other was observing. There were several practice runs. Then one physican would come in at a time and be tested. In between physicians coming in and out, I asked Dr. Lee what the treatment was for my wound beyond them getting me to a trauma center. She said that it would be to get me to the operating room and open my entire chest and do heart surgery, because I had a hole in my heart. Wow - this is a lot more serious then I initially thought :)
There were some interesting situations...one doctor came in and wanted to intubate me when I was still alert and Dr. Lee said that by doing that they would have killed me because of making something else worse (and since I'm no doctor, I can't even begin to remember what it was!) Another doctor didn't know how to do a pericardiocentesis and stopped in her tracks. Dr. Lee kept telling her, "she's getting worse" "She's dying..." And I guess I would have, if I didn't get the pericardiocentesis. Another doctor kept having to do the pericardiocentesis because Dr. Lee said it kept filling up and I kept getting worse...even when I got into the helicopter to go to the trauma center - that's when this doctor said, "I'm not in the helicopter with her!" :) Thankfully these scenarios were all in the practice runs and not the actual test. I did the same scenario over and over again and I began hoping that every doctor would get it right but when they skipped something or forgot something, I would wince and want to say "No! You forgot to put the chest tube in!" Or, "Don't forget to give me a tetanus shot!" Or, "Remember to cover me up so I don't get hypothermia!" I might have started thinking I was a doctor ;) Dr. Lee told me that the pericardiom would continue to fill up with fluid/blood until surgery, so they'd have to keep sticking the needle into my heart and draining it (again - all pretend, I wasn't actually stuck with any needle!) That's not really possible because to get me from the ER to the helicopter to the trauma center, they couldn't physically keep doing that, so that's where putting a catheter into the wound would save the day. It would do the job of draining the fluid until surgery. I'm probably not explaining this all correctly, so if you're a doctor and reading this, you're probably laughing! The main takeaway was that I didn't die - although Dr. Lee said I came close a couple of times (during the practice runs!) and all the physicians passed their recertification. And in the end - that's all that matters! Of course for me, all that matters is that I had fun!!! And fun is exactly what I had. It didn't hurt that I got paid for it as well :) I met some amazing people too. There were also some cute doctors :) I was really happy the cutest doctor of all, was the one who (after many doctors before him forgot) said that I would need lots of blankets to prevent hypothermia. Hey - it's the little things and I'm all about staying warm! Of course - this was all pretend. The conditions were real and what they would do to treat the conditions were real and the physicians tests were real, but I wasn't hurt or otherwise injured and all my wounds were fake. And so my acting debut came to end. From 12:30-7:30 I was a trauma patient and loved every minute of it!! Acting is so much fun and hanging out with doctors - totally awesome! One of the doctors who was being tested said that I looked exactly like one of the doctors on "Grey's Anatomy" - that was definitely a highlight of the day :) As I was leaving, there was a doctor there (dressed in full scrubs, mask, badges...everything) that saw me walking with the walker. He asked what was wrong and I got to tell him about dystonia. It turns out he is one of the trauma surgeons at UT. He said he didn't know that much about neuro and had never heard of dystonia, but he seemed fascinated by it. I have to say, it was kind of cool telling a trauma surgeon all about my neurological problem and knowing more about it than he did! Today was an awesome adventure!!
The set up:
Saline IV:
Me with distended neck veins (the blue on my face is supposed to represent cyanosis):
Today, I woke up and was really nervous. Again, I was really wondering what I had gotten myself into :) But it turned out to be the most fun thing I have done in a long time!! It was a blast!!!!! I had so much fun. I got to the hospital at 12:30 pm and they had lunch for us. There were going to be two groups: one group would be patients of nurses and one group would be patients of physicians. I got to be in the group of patients being seen by doctors. There were 6 of us patients, 3 guys and 3 girls. We were all taken back to exam rooms and given scrubs to change into. Depending on our injury, we got scrubs to fit that (mine had a hole in it where a chest wound would be) Then we got makeup. My scenario was intially a man having been stabbed by his wife, but of course that was changed to a wife having been stabbed by her husband in the left chest with a butcher knife. I was brought to a rural county hospital (not a trauma center).
My Part:
I got an AWESOME stab wound applied to me:
All of us "patients" bonded with each other over our various injuries. I had a stab wound, one guy had a head and leg injury, one girl was shot twice, another guy got in a motorcycle accident, another girl was thrown from the car after an accident and the last guy had fallen from scaffolding and had injuries from that. We had lots of time to talk with each other and hang out and admire our injuries! Eventually, we each had a doctor assigned to us who was the doctor who would be administering the test to the physicians renewing their certifications. My doctor was Dr. Lee. She's 30 and she's a 5th year general surgeon. She was totally cool! She's a tiny, spitfire, ball of energy surgeon :) We went over what I was to do and how to react to the physicians coming in to examine me. My symptons behind the sucking chest wound were that I could not breathe and had distended neck veins, my BP was low and my heart rate high. I was in shock and had cyanosis. I was alert though (but I later become unresponsive). The doctors were to start with addressing my wound and making sure they covered their ABC's (airway, breathing and circulation). Then they put a needle into my left chest and then a chest tube. That makes my breathing a little easier , but does not significantly improve it. I become (acting, remember!) unresponsive and then they do an endotrachal intubation because they need to secure an airway. Eventually, a pericardiocentesis (sticking a needle into the pericardium - the sack around the heart - and draining fluid/blood from it) is needed. I'm able to breathe again! But not too much longer after that, I start exhibiting the same symptoms and they have to drain the pericadium again and get me to a trauma center stat! (OK, stat is my word, but I'm channeling my inner "ER" persona!)
Me in full make-up:
The way that the afternoon worked was two physicians would come in at the same time. One was being tested and the other was observing. There were several practice runs. Then one physican would come in at a time and be tested. In between physicians coming in and out, I asked Dr. Lee what the treatment was for my wound beyond them getting me to a trauma center. She said that it would be to get me to the operating room and open my entire chest and do heart surgery, because I had a hole in my heart. Wow - this is a lot more serious then I initially thought :)
There were some interesting situations...one doctor came in and wanted to intubate me when I was still alert and Dr. Lee said that by doing that they would have killed me because of making something else worse (and since I'm no doctor, I can't even begin to remember what it was!) Another doctor didn't know how to do a pericardiocentesis and stopped in her tracks. Dr. Lee kept telling her, "she's getting worse" "She's dying..." And I guess I would have, if I didn't get the pericardiocentesis. Another doctor kept having to do the pericardiocentesis because Dr. Lee said it kept filling up and I kept getting worse...even when I got into the helicopter to go to the trauma center - that's when this doctor said, "I'm not in the helicopter with her!" :) Thankfully these scenarios were all in the practice runs and not the actual test. I did the same scenario over and over again and I began hoping that every doctor would get it right but when they skipped something or forgot something, I would wince and want to say "No! You forgot to put the chest tube in!" Or, "Don't forget to give me a tetanus shot!" Or, "Remember to cover me up so I don't get hypothermia!" I might have started thinking I was a doctor ;) Dr. Lee told me that the pericardiom would continue to fill up with fluid/blood until surgery, so they'd have to keep sticking the needle into my heart and draining it (again - all pretend, I wasn't actually stuck with any needle!) That's not really possible because to get me from the ER to the helicopter to the trauma center, they couldn't physically keep doing that, so that's where putting a catheter into the wound would save the day. It would do the job of draining the fluid until surgery. I'm probably not explaining this all correctly, so if you're a doctor and reading this, you're probably laughing! The main takeaway was that I didn't die - although Dr. Lee said I came close a couple of times (during the practice runs!) and all the physicians passed their recertification. And in the end - that's all that matters! Of course for me, all that matters is that I had fun!!! And fun is exactly what I had. It didn't hurt that I got paid for it as well :) I met some amazing people too. There were also some cute doctors :) I was really happy the cutest doctor of all, was the one who (after many doctors before him forgot) said that I would need lots of blankets to prevent hypothermia. Hey - it's the little things and I'm all about staying warm! Of course - this was all pretend. The conditions were real and what they would do to treat the conditions were real and the physicians tests were real, but I wasn't hurt or otherwise injured and all my wounds were fake. And so my acting debut came to end. From 12:30-7:30 I was a trauma patient and loved every minute of it!! Acting is so much fun and hanging out with doctors - totally awesome! One of the doctors who was being tested said that I looked exactly like one of the doctors on "Grey's Anatomy" - that was definitely a highlight of the day :) As I was leaving, there was a doctor there (dressed in full scrubs, mask, badges...everything) that saw me walking with the walker. He asked what was wrong and I got to tell him about dystonia. It turns out he is one of the trauma surgeons at UT. He said he didn't know that much about neuro and had never heard of dystonia, but he seemed fascinated by it. I have to say, it was kind of cool telling a trauma surgeon all about my neurological problem and knowing more about it than he did! Today was an awesome adventure!!
The set up:
Saline IV:
Me with distended neck veins (the blue on my face is supposed to represent cyanosis):
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
October Baby
If you know me, you know I love movies and TV. This is not a secret! I love all kinds of movies and TV shows. Some I'm not afraid to say I watch and others I'd be a bit more embarrassed to admit that I watch :) But there is one movie I'm not ashamed in the least bit to say that I love. It's "October Baby".
There are many reasons I love it; some are superficial, but others are most definitely not! If you have not seen it, I encourage you to do so. I've had this movie for a year now and I've watched it so many times that I can recite the dialogue in certain scenes from memory. I've watched it so much, that the DVD is getting worn out! I just re-watched the movie last night (after all, it is titled "October Baby" and it is October; I say it's the perfect time to watch it!) There are many reasons why I love this movie, but to break the ice, I'll start with a couple of the superficial ones :) I love the fact that this movie was filmed in Alabama (my home state!), in Birmingham (my hometown!) on the campus of Samford University (where my brother goes to college!) The funny thing about this is that I had no idea of any of that when I first watched the movie. I kept thinking that certain places or buildings looked very familiar, but it wasn't until I watched the "extras" on the DVD that all the puzzle pieces fell into place! I also love that it stars John Schneider - "The Dukes of Hazzard", John Schneider. While I never actually watched "The Dukes of Hazzard" (I knew him from "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"), I've always thought John Schneider is cute! So, I have a few superficial reasons why I like the movie!

But - I also have real reasons I love this movie. The movie is about a girl (Hannah) who discovers that not only is she adopted, but that she is the survivor of a botched abortion. The issue of abortion has always been close to my heart. From a young age on, my parents instilled in me and my brothers that as the tag line of this movie states, "every life is beautiful". Abortion is murder, plain and simple. In this country, those who take the life of another person are either executed or spend the rest of their life in prison for their crime, but when an unborn child's life is cut short, it's said to be the mother's choice. That's not right. From the time of conception a baby is just that: a baby - a living, breathing, feeling, human life. I am not afraid to say that I am 100% pro-life. Now there is forgiveness for all sins and I do believe that with all my heart. I am not here to judge, point fingers or act like I am "holier than thou". I don't mean to preach, but this is how I feel about the issue. I will never - ever see it as a woman's choice. A life is a life is a life. It's not a inconvenience or a mistake - it's a baby, a human life. I won't back down from that. I won't pretend to know what it's like to be in a situation where a woman thinks the only option is abortion. All I can say is that there is grace and forgiveness. And now, I'll step down from my soap box :) Back to the movie.... there are two different scenes in the movie that stand out to me as my favorites. One is when Hannah (having found and been rejected by her birth mother) leaves her birth mother a note with only these words written on the paper "I forgive you". She leaves it with the hospital bracelet her mother wore the day she was born. This scene was so moving to me because not only did you see it from Hannah's perspective, but also from the birth mothers. And, the scene becomes even more special if you watch the DVD extras and hear the story of the woman who played the birth mother in the movie. And my other favorite scene is at the very end of the movie. Hannah is speaking with her (adopted) father when she tells him thank you and he asks for what. She replies "for wanting me". I get teary eyed just typing that! But how much more does our Heavenly Father want us? He gave His one and only Son for us, because he wants us so much! I am reminded again that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made". And so are you! How awesome is our God?! "October Baby" is a wonderful reminder of how messy life is, how beautiful life is, how much three simple words whether they be "I forgive you", "I love you", "I want you" can mean and most importantly how very much our Heavenly Father loves, adores and wants each one of us.
There are many reasons I love it; some are superficial, but others are most definitely not! If you have not seen it, I encourage you to do so. I've had this movie for a year now and I've watched it so many times that I can recite the dialogue in certain scenes from memory. I've watched it so much, that the DVD is getting worn out! I just re-watched the movie last night (after all, it is titled "October Baby" and it is October; I say it's the perfect time to watch it!) There are many reasons why I love this movie, but to break the ice, I'll start with a couple of the superficial ones :) I love the fact that this movie was filmed in Alabama (my home state!), in Birmingham (my hometown!) on the campus of Samford University (where my brother goes to college!) The funny thing about this is that I had no idea of any of that when I first watched the movie. I kept thinking that certain places or buildings looked very familiar, but it wasn't until I watched the "extras" on the DVD that all the puzzle pieces fell into place! I also love that it stars John Schneider - "The Dukes of Hazzard", John Schneider. While I never actually watched "The Dukes of Hazzard" (I knew him from "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"), I've always thought John Schneider is cute! So, I have a few superficial reasons why I like the movie!

But - I also have real reasons I love this movie. The movie is about a girl (Hannah) who discovers that not only is she adopted, but that she is the survivor of a botched abortion. The issue of abortion has always been close to my heart. From a young age on, my parents instilled in me and my brothers that as the tag line of this movie states, "every life is beautiful". Abortion is murder, plain and simple. In this country, those who take the life of another person are either executed or spend the rest of their life in prison for their crime, but when an unborn child's life is cut short, it's said to be the mother's choice. That's not right. From the time of conception a baby is just that: a baby - a living, breathing, feeling, human life. I am not afraid to say that I am 100% pro-life. Now there is forgiveness for all sins and I do believe that with all my heart. I am not here to judge, point fingers or act like I am "holier than thou". I don't mean to preach, but this is how I feel about the issue. I will never - ever see it as a woman's choice. A life is a life is a life. It's not a inconvenience or a mistake - it's a baby, a human life. I won't back down from that. I won't pretend to know what it's like to be in a situation where a woman thinks the only option is abortion. All I can say is that there is grace and forgiveness. And now, I'll step down from my soap box :) Back to the movie.... there are two different scenes in the movie that stand out to me as my favorites. One is when Hannah (having found and been rejected by her birth mother) leaves her birth mother a note with only these words written on the paper "I forgive you". She leaves it with the hospital bracelet her mother wore the day she was born. This scene was so moving to me because not only did you see it from Hannah's perspective, but also from the birth mothers. And, the scene becomes even more special if you watch the DVD extras and hear the story of the woman who played the birth mother in the movie. And my other favorite scene is at the very end of the movie. Hannah is speaking with her (adopted) father when she tells him thank you and he asks for what. She replies "for wanting me". I get teary eyed just typing that! But how much more does our Heavenly Father want us? He gave His one and only Son for us, because he wants us so much! I am reminded again that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made". And so are you! How awesome is our God?! "October Baby" is a wonderful reminder of how messy life is, how beautiful life is, how much three simple words whether they be "I forgive you", "I love you", "I want you" can mean and most importantly how very much our Heavenly Father loves, adores and wants each one of us.
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