I didn't update the blog this past Tuesday somewhat because I had a million things going on and ran out of time and somewhat because I knew that February 29 this year fell on a Saturday and I'd have time to blog then. And yet, here it is at 10 pm on February 29 and I'm finally updating.😉 To catch you up, on February 23, 2020, I celebrated the 4th anniversary of my deep brain stimulation surgery. How did I celebrate? I tripped over the vacuum cord and bloodied my knee. I had just taken the band-aid off too. 😊 How appropriate! You think life’s going one way and then God shakes things up a little bit. How in the world has it been 4 years?! If you'd like to read what I wrote about that day 4 years ago, you can do so here: 2nd Surgery It was by far the most unique thing I've ever been through.
Happy Leap Day/Year! This is the first time since having it done that I can recognize/celebrate the anniversary of my last (of 3) surgeries for deep brain stimulation. I didn't have to have 3 surgeries because it was messed up or anything - it's just a 3 surgery process. February 29, 2016 I had the battery for the deep brain stimulation device implanted and all the wires from the device in my brain to the battery connected. The deep brain stimulation wouldn't be turned on until March 29, 2016, but the surgery part of the process was complete with this surgery. It was NOT lost on me that this final surgery was done on LEAP day. I WILL LEAP again!! In some ways it's very hard to believe it's been 4 years. It's not been the "instant" miracle I was praying for, but would I do it all over again? HECK YES!!!
I was out running errands this afternoon and I was WALKING. I was walking without a cane, without a walker, without assistance. While I still struggle, it's nowhere near the struggle I had 4 years ago. I can only say I am beyond blessed.
If you'd like to read what I wrote 4 years ago about the surgery, you can do so here: 3rd Surgery
I am a firm believer that God allows us to struggle so that we don't forget about Him. He has, is and will always be with me in this journey. Thank you, readers, for also following along on this journey with me.
Always remember: God's Got This!
Saturday, February 29, 2020
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
Tune-In-Tuesday: February 18, 2020
It’s been quite a week this past week. I’ve struggled with walking at times.
It occurred to me that I may need to explain something. It’s not because anyone’s said anything, but it just came to my mind, so I’m sharing it here. I have more issues walking in big spaces like parking lots then I do in other areas. My only reasoning for this (that I can come up with) is that in large areas like that, there's nothing I can easily grab a hold of if I felt like I was going to fall. That's why when I'm blogging you almost exclusively hear me talk about having issues with walking in to or out of somewhere. Or I'll talk about falling in a parking lot. BUT, it amazes me how God allows the body to compensate or to “auto correct” itself at times. Our bodies instinctively know what to do to keep us from falling or injuring ourselves. While we may think of things ahead of time, it’s those reactive instincts that allow us to do what we need to do. One of my instincts is to not bend my knee when walking. I don’t set out and say to myself, “Now, don’t bend your knee.” It just instinctively happens. While it’s not ideal and it causes other issues in my body, I’m thankful for the natural ability to (for the most part) keep myself upright and moving from Point A to Point B. It may not be pretty, but it gets the job done.
Four years ago, on February 16, 2016, I began my (surgical) deep brain stimulation journey. I’d begun the process months and months before, but I didn’t start the surgical part until February 16. As I’m typing this, a memory popped into my head. My neurosurgeon, Dr. Konrad told me that the surgeries would be the easy part for me. The hard part for me would start AFTER the surgeries. Boy, was he ever right! Since I have new people reading my blog, I thought I’d include a link to what I wrote about the first of these DBS surgeries. So, here’s what happened four years ago:
1 down, 2 To Go
Back to this past week. I fell again. This time though it was while pushing a grocery cart (in a parking lot - see, I fall in parking lots a lot!). It takes real talent to do that - to fall while holding on to something that’s supposed to prevent me from falling! 😉
Ya’ll Jesus answers prayers – no matter how big or small. He answers them all. On Wednesday, I was having a time. Walking was not coming naturally. I went to church that night as I do every Wednesday. We were having communion so I knew that I'd have to walk up to communion and back to my pew. So, I prayed. I prayed that I would either 1) make it up and back from communion by myself without falling, or 2) If God thought I needed help that he would provide someone to help me. As we were preparing for communion, a friend quietly slipped into the pew I was sitting in ( I was the only one in the pew - it's a lighter attendance on Wednesday nights!). She leaned over and said, “I thought you might like some help getting up to and back from communion.” I turned to her and told her. “You’re the answer to my prayer.” She said to me that she felt a nudging that she should help. That was God. While we were receiving communion, I almost cried. God cares for us. No matter how “trivial” the ask is, He’s got us.
So, while this past week hasn't been stellar, it also has not been horrible. I've seen God's grace written over everything. And how could I not? God's Got This!
It occurred to me that I may need to explain something. It’s not because anyone’s said anything, but it just came to my mind, so I’m sharing it here. I have more issues walking in big spaces like parking lots then I do in other areas. My only reasoning for this (that I can come up with) is that in large areas like that, there's nothing I can easily grab a hold of if I felt like I was going to fall. That's why when I'm blogging you almost exclusively hear me talk about having issues with walking in to or out of somewhere. Or I'll talk about falling in a parking lot. BUT, it amazes me how God allows the body to compensate or to “auto correct” itself at times. Our bodies instinctively know what to do to keep us from falling or injuring ourselves. While we may think of things ahead of time, it’s those reactive instincts that allow us to do what we need to do. One of my instincts is to not bend my knee when walking. I don’t set out and say to myself, “Now, don’t bend your knee.” It just instinctively happens. While it’s not ideal and it causes other issues in my body, I’m thankful for the natural ability to (for the most part) keep myself upright and moving from Point A to Point B. It may not be pretty, but it gets the job done.
Four years ago, on February 16, 2016, I began my (surgical) deep brain stimulation journey. I’d begun the process months and months before, but I didn’t start the surgical part until February 16. As I’m typing this, a memory popped into my head. My neurosurgeon, Dr. Konrad told me that the surgeries would be the easy part for me. The hard part for me would start AFTER the surgeries. Boy, was he ever right! Since I have new people reading my blog, I thought I’d include a link to what I wrote about the first of these DBS surgeries. So, here’s what happened four years ago:
1 down, 2 To Go
Back to this past week. I fell again. This time though it was while pushing a grocery cart (in a parking lot - see, I fall in parking lots a lot!). It takes real talent to do that - to fall while holding on to something that’s supposed to prevent me from falling! 😉
Ya’ll Jesus answers prayers – no matter how big or small. He answers them all. On Wednesday, I was having a time. Walking was not coming naturally. I went to church that night as I do every Wednesday. We were having communion so I knew that I'd have to walk up to communion and back to my pew. So, I prayed. I prayed that I would either 1) make it up and back from communion by myself without falling, or 2) If God thought I needed help that he would provide someone to help me. As we were preparing for communion, a friend quietly slipped into the pew I was sitting in ( I was the only one in the pew - it's a lighter attendance on Wednesday nights!). She leaned over and said, “I thought you might like some help getting up to and back from communion.” I turned to her and told her. “You’re the answer to my prayer.” She said to me that she felt a nudging that she should help. That was God. While we were receiving communion, I almost cried. God cares for us. No matter how “trivial” the ask is, He’s got us.
So, while this past week hasn't been stellar, it also has not been horrible. I've seen God's grace written over everything. And how could I not? God's Got This!
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Tune-In-Tuesday: February 11. 2020
Has anyone else been a slump because of the weather, or is it just me? It's been raining cats and dogs here lately (in my humble opinion, I'd rather it rain men, but, we can't always get what we want - haha!) and it's been messing with my mood. I need sunshine!!! I know, it's February and it's supposed to be cold and rainy and dreary, but I'm looking forward to the sun shining again! Saturday, it snowed (unexpectedly - at least for me. That'll teach me to pay better attention to weather reports). Since it snowed, I stayed inside and since I stayed inside, I watched TV on DVD that I received for Christmas. I got the first season of New Amsterdam. It's a medical show. One of the episodes I watched dealt with deep brain stimulation. It wasn't for what I have, but anytime I hear "deep brain stimulation", it peaks my interest. I can literally say, I've been through that.
This past week, I also "met" someone else who's had deep brain stimulation done. He had his for a condition called ataxia, not dystonia, but still - I actually talked to someone who has had it done! I only met him over Facebook messenger as he lives in Mississippi (I think!). He's the husband of a cousin of someone I know. Haha - 6 degrees of separation, right?! ;) But it was so refreshing to talk to someone who's experienced the same thing I have. And yes, this is the very first person (in the four years since I've had it done) that I've talked to that has actually had it done. We have a couple of similar things in common: we both were hoping this was an "instant miracle", which it was not - but (speaking for myself) a miracle nonetheless. We both had to have the batteries that operate our DBS systems replaced after two and half years and NOT the five years we were told they would last - haha. I think the similarities end there, but I can't explain how exciting it was to talk to someone who knows went I through. And even though I'm in the media myself, no TV show can (or has) ever depicted it completely right (and really how can they when they're only working with about 45 minutes?!). I'm just glad that it is being talked about. I told the friend that introduced me to her cousin's husband that I will ALWAYS be a proponent of DBS. It's not for everyone and some may argue that I still have problems (which I do), but it has helped me tremendously and I wouldn't bat an eye to do it all over again even knowing it's not the "instant miracle" I was praying for. I love talking to people about it.
As with each week, last week had it's ups and downs, but I didn't fall!! I'm still nursing my wound from the previous week. It's almost like a paper cut. You know how a paper cut can be so tiny, but hurt so bad? This cut is small, but every time I peel the Band-Aid off (or it comes off on it's own), it starts bleeding all over again. I probably shouldn't keep a Band-Aid on, but at least it looks better covered up - haha!
Anyway, I think that's about it for this week. Always remember - God's Got This!
This past week, I also "met" someone else who's had deep brain stimulation done. He had his for a condition called ataxia, not dystonia, but still - I actually talked to someone who has had it done! I only met him over Facebook messenger as he lives in Mississippi (I think!). He's the husband of a cousin of someone I know. Haha - 6 degrees of separation, right?! ;) But it was so refreshing to talk to someone who's experienced the same thing I have. And yes, this is the very first person (in the four years since I've had it done) that I've talked to that has actually had it done. We have a couple of similar things in common: we both were hoping this was an "instant miracle", which it was not - but (speaking for myself) a miracle nonetheless. We both had to have the batteries that operate our DBS systems replaced after two and half years and NOT the five years we were told they would last - haha. I think the similarities end there, but I can't explain how exciting it was to talk to someone who knows went I through. And even though I'm in the media myself, no TV show can (or has) ever depicted it completely right (and really how can they when they're only working with about 45 minutes?!). I'm just glad that it is being talked about. I told the friend that introduced me to her cousin's husband that I will ALWAYS be a proponent of DBS. It's not for everyone and some may argue that I still have problems (which I do), but it has helped me tremendously and I wouldn't bat an eye to do it all over again even knowing it's not the "instant miracle" I was praying for. I love talking to people about it.
As with each week, last week had it's ups and downs, but I didn't fall!! I'm still nursing my wound from the previous week. It's almost like a paper cut. You know how a paper cut can be so tiny, but hurt so bad? This cut is small, but every time I peel the Band-Aid off (or it comes off on it's own), it starts bleeding all over again. I probably shouldn't keep a Band-Aid on, but at least it looks better covered up - haha!
Anyway, I think that's about it for this week. Always remember - God's Got This!
Tuesday, February 4, 2020
Tune-In-Tuesday: February 4, 2020
This past week has been a mixed bag. I’ve had good walking days and not so good days. I fell this morning. It happened right after I got in the front door at work. I’m not sure if I tripped over the rug or my own two feet (my guess is my own two feet). I’m thankful it wasn’t on concrete or asphalt and that only one person saw me! I skinned my knee, only because the skin there is so thin anyway (from previous falls) that it always breaks if I fall. Other than that, I’m fine. In fact, I’m more than fine, I’m great. I mean, I’m alive. I have family and friends who love me, I have a job that I love. Life is good. Sometimes a fall is just what I need to “reset” myself. It allows me to look inward again and realize all the blessings I have. Today’s verse of the day on my Bible app couldn’t be more appropriate:
I was kind of having a rough day on Sunday, but from Dale to Whitney to my own niece, Hope – I had plenty of help getting around at church. So thank you, one and all who helped! I'll never forget it.
It’s February and that means that later this month it’ll be four years since I had DBS surgery (I had my head shaved on Valentine's Day!). Wow. In some respects, time truly does fly and in other respects, the days are long! But as I told someone this past week; I’d do the surgery over again in a heartbeat. It’s not been the “instant miracle” I wished it was, but life is so much better because of it. God knows what He is doing, so I’m just along for the journey. I trust that His will is perfect. I truly believe that He wants what’s best for me and right now, currently, it’s the constant communication I have with Him. Actually, I know He wants that ALL the time from me. I'm just not always as great at it as I am when I'm having humbling experiences. ;)
You know how some people say, “Oh, if I had a million dollars, that wouldn’t change the real me.”? I’m the opposite of that (just being truthful) and God knows it! I’m the closest to Him when I’m crying out to Him to heal me. So, I don’t mind not being fully healed if it means I’m closer to the Lord. Ah – who am I kidding? I’m striving to not mind not being fully healed if it means I’m closer to God. That’s a more accurate statement. I pray that I can walk without issue and I don’t ever quit praying for the miracle.
God's Got This!
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