Tune-In-Tuesday: June 25

Last week I said things were getting better with my walking and they were, until Friday when I started having problems again. I hoped that it was just an "off" day, but it seems to be more like multiple off days. I fell on Friday. It was silly and shouldn't have happened but it did. Physically, I didn't hurt myself, but my pride took a little bruising. ;) Ah, such is life. There are so many people out there with issues way more intense/scary/hurtful/life-altering than mine that sometimes I feel ridiculous even writing about mine, but maybe writing about mine will help someone - maybe.

Anyway, that's the update. Walking's hard. I don't really have anything more to say at the moment. I trust that God knows what He is doing and this valley will soon be replaced with a mountaintop experience. But even if it's not, God's (still) Got This and that's all there is to it.

Tune-In-Tuesday: June 18

God's been faithful. Patience has paid off. While I still struggle, walking's gotten a lot easier in the past two weeks since I turned the electricity up. Again, it's not perfect, but it's MUCH improved. I still have issues walking in parking lots (wide open spaces in which I can't grab a hold of anything to steady my gait) and I still accept help going up to Communion at church (and other places too). I'm just thankful that things are improving. I have exactly a month from today before I go back to the neurologist, so I'm not sure what I'll do in that month. I may stay on this level. I may go up, I may go down - who knows! For now, I'm OK with remaining at where I'm at.

This past week I celebrated a birthday. One of my birthday presents was tickets to see a play at Cumberland County Playhouse which is a little over an hour away from home. Mom and I had a wonderful time. It was there that I started sensing I could walk better and needed less help. However, walking in was all uphill (and I can do uphill!) which meant walking out was all downhill. I definitely needed help with the downhill. I'm so weird - the "easy" things to most people are the "hard" things to me and yet I can walk super easy uphill and on sand - go figure :) I guess that just makes me stand out, right?!

I almost face-planted in my hallway here at home last night because I tripped over the rug. Thankfully, I did not! Sometimes I think I need to be wrapped in bubble wrap. It's been a good week though. I still pray for a miracle - that I'll be able to walk without issue - but in the meantime, I'm extremely blessed to be walking better than I was. The bad days only make the good days that much sweeter! No matter what, God's Got This!

Tune-In-Tuesday: Faithful

It hit me this morning (while working out, no less) that God is faithful. I mean I know this, but this morning, out of nowhere, it struck me just how faithful He truly is, even when I'm less than faithful to Him. I wasn't doing anything special when I came to this realization. I wasn't even thinking about His faithfulness, but God quietly reassured me that in every situation, He is STILL FAITHFUL. Every prayer I pray, He hears, and He answers. I started recalling recent prayers I had prayed to Him and I was reminded that He answered every single one. Even when the answer's no, He is faithful.

It’s been a week since I turned the electricity up in my deep brain stimulation device and I’m starting to see subtle, small improvements – nothing major or earth shattering, but small things. The other night I woke up to my foot twitching. I thought, “Oh no, maybe it’s too much electricity.” But by the time I woke up to go to work, it had settled itself back down. 😉 I haven’t fallen and at times I am walking better.

For someone like myself who likes black and white answers, this journey can get frustrating at times. At first, playing with the electricity was fun, but it’s been three years now and I just want to settle into a nice routine. However, God must not want this for me (at least at this time)! What works one week may not work the next week. It’s always adventurous. However, I am blessed. Just reflecting for a few minutes this morning on the prayers that God has heard and answered, reminded how truly blessed I am.

At lunch today, I happened to read a blog post by Joni Eareckson Tada (If you don’t know who she is, you must Google her!!). It was a total “God-thing” and has given me a new perspective. Here is a snippet of what she wrote:
“Early on in my ‘career’ as a quadriplegic, I learned a valuable lesson: Work with what you’ve got. This is Joni Eareckson Tada and back then, my occupational therapist taught me how to use the muscles I had left to make up for the ones that did not work. I was able to do wonders with what I had left….God is in the occupational therapy business. He has often taught weak people without vision to use what they had…..You’ll be amazed what God can do with what little you have.” – “His Power Through Weakness” posted on June 11.

Wow. What perspective.

As always and in everything – God’s Got This!

Tune-In-Tuesday: Going Up

Well, I made it the “prescribed” two weeks. I put prescribed in quotes because it’s the suggested period my neurologist has said it may take the electricity to do anything with my walking, but, it’s all a guessing game. I say that with the utmost respect to my neurologist (and all doctors). It’s just that there is so much that we don’t know about the human body, no matter how many years we may study it. Anyway, I made it the “prescribed” two weeks on a lower level of electricity (my choice). I thought that that may be “the answer” to the problems I’ve been having walking for the past two months or so. Ha! I laugh because I know – in my heart of hearts – no electricity is going to make me magically walk with no problems again. The only ONE who can do that – who can perform a miracle – is JESUS. Yes, He can use this electricity, but in the end (and in the beginning) – it’s HIM and HIM ONLY. Probably the only thing I like about not being able to walk properly is that it keeps me in constant contact with God. I’m ALWAYS praying. 😉

I decided to up the electricity. I went from 3.20 volts to 3.40. I changed it last night as to give myself sleep hours to get the electricity going. I woke up this morning and did feel like my foot was a little more grounded, but then again, I’m probably willing it to be that way, after all, it takes at least two weeks to see any difference – so I’ll wait. It’s all about waiting. God’s teaching me patience one minute at a time.

I spent almost my entire lunch hour today trying to fish one of the meds I take for the dystonia out of a crevice it had fallen in in a cabinet at work. Seriously, why can’t anything ever be EASY for me?! At least it wasn’t a contact lens. I don’t know how many times in the past 14 years that I’ve been at my job that I have lost a contact lens and had myself and co-workers on hands and knees searching for it. This time it was medication and I don’t even know how it fell into the crevice in the first place, but it took a chopstick (yes, a chopstick!), scissors, a pen, 45 minutes and my own fingers to finally pry it out. Laugh all you want, but medicine is expensive, and I wasn’t about to give up on getting it out. Persistence (and lots of prayer) pays off!

For perspective: the drawer is above with my medicine stuck in the upper right corner.

The above is the blown up version of the top picture and I've circled where the medicine fell.

And on that note, I’ll close this post. Always remember in everything to give prayer and praise to God above and never forget: GOD’S GOT THIS!